In this thread, give useless advice to a Presidential candidate.

[otherlander]

John Edwards- More people would vote for you if you grew a beard. That's why people liked Jesus so much, you know. Not because of those silly magic tricks with the fish. And stop getting haircuts, too.

[LynneSin]

1. Actually I think they liked Jesus because of that water into wine trick

That would be a great skill for any of the candidates to have

[Pierre.Suave]

6. it sure would

make the fundraisers more interesting...

[BurtWorm]

2. Mike Gravel, change your first name to Rock.

Maybe change the way you pronounce your surname, too.

[ashling]

4. And take your shirt off during the debates

so we can see those angry abs

[otherlander]

5. .

:scared:

[AwakeAtLast]

16. And your middle name to Paper...

and your second middle name to, well, you know.

:P

[Bucky]

23. nice!

Rock Paper Gravel.

[Bucky]

24. Mike Gravel, steal a move from Kucinich and marry an Amazon hottie half your age

Oh wait, Hillary's already married.

[krispos42]

3. SHAKE the hand, KISS the baby

Don't get those mixed up like Dubya did...



:hide:

[NewJeffCT]

7. don't eat the brown acid man

I guess that could go to any of them.

[Brigid]

8. Quite being such a chicken**** and . . .

really go after the Bush regime. You have nothing to lose. No more Mr./Ms. Nice Guy.

Useless because they won't believe me.

[alfredo]

9. Don't eat the yellow snow.

[Deep13]

10. Knock it off. nt

[LeftyMom]

11. Congressman Kucinich, you need to get taller, prettier and dumber to get elected.

It's probably true, but nothing he can do anything about. :(

[otherlander]

26. He could stick a crayon up his nose.

That might make him dumber.

[Dr. Strange]

12. Obama...

Start wearing a "Fur is Murder" t-shirt.
And cut back on the stinky breath in the morning.

[InternalDialogue]

13. There's nothing wrong with a spontaneous yodel every now and then.

Something melodic, perhaps calling the goats in.

Oh, does this have to be for a particular candidate? Um, then it's for Tancredo. Couldn't make him look any batshit crazier than he already is.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

14. Barack Obama: Change your name to Chip Whitley.

[redqueen]

15. Dennis Kucinich, if you'd just kiss a LITTLE corporate ass...

you'd get much more positive feedback from the whores press.

Whore it up, guy!

[Fire Walk With Me]

17. Hillary, you should consider mimic'ing the social behaviours of the Bonobo ape.

I for one would vote for that.

[Critters2]

19. LOL!!!

That might be what Bill was trying to do, now that I think of it.

I, for one, envy the bonobo.

[otherlander]

21. If all world leaders would do just that

I am convinced that there would be no more wars.

[Fire Walk With Me]

25. I agree with yours and Critters' posts, I think it would work,

But I sure don't want to have to imagine it! Mental screen: OFF! :7

[MrCoffee]

18. order the chicken. stay away from the fish.

[Critters2]

20. Barack, Measure twice, cut once. nt

[Bucky]

22. Mitt Romney, you should bring your dog along on your campaign swings.

You already know where he can ride on the campaign bus.