Your 'Citizen Kane of Bad Movies'?

[Zomby Woof]

MST3K's creator once said 'Road House' was the "Citizen Kane of bad movies". I LOVE that quote, because it sums up how beautifully bad it is, in a good way.

What is your equivalent of 'Road House'? A movie which stinks to unholy hell, but is compulsively watchable in a train wreck way - with dialogue which grates like cheese, and acting hammier than a country breakfast. Something so well-crafted in its congenital awfulness, that you should not like it, but is the guiltiest movie pleasure of all time. :D

[BlooInBloo]

1. Top Gun. We were inverted.

[javadu]

57. I will Second That ---

Why do I love this movie??? It is a bad movie, but . . .

[AlCzervik]

2. Showgirls.

[BlooInBloo]

3. That prolly is the worst movie ever. The Last Boyscout might compete.

[AlCzervik]

5. the last boyscout was sucktacular.

right up there with Bonfire of the vanities.

[Zomby Woof]

4. I have never seen that

It has always sounded promising

[AlCzervik]

6. thats my gage for bad movies, "Is it Roadhouse bad or showgirls bad?"

[BlooInBloo]

8. Not a bad gauge.

[MysticalChicken]

62. I've never seen it but...

...every time I hear the title I think of Janeane Garofalo saying of it, "Like getting hit in the face with a board for two and a half hours."

(She said it on that old MTV show, Squirt TV. I have a burned DVD of it.)

[madinmaryland]

7. Death to Smootchie

Worst movie EVAH!!

[rockymountaindem]

14. More like best movie ever!

Well, maybe not that good, but I laughed my ass off at that one.

[0rganism]

9. tough choice, but I'll have to go with Zardoz on that one

Zardoz: a surprisingly well-filmed pile of pretentious crap that I'm sure Sean Connery would like to forget which nonetheless put forth some interesting ideas, yet handled every one of them poorly. Extremely watchable, right up to the stupid ending.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070948/

[MrScorpio]

39. I bought the DVD

Plenty of pretentious fun, love the commentary

[Twillig]

82. Me too. Boorman gives good commentary.

Frankenheimer was pretty good at telling what he was thinking in his commentary too.

[HughBeaumont]

49. If it weren't for the topless British women and great soundtrack . . .

That film would have been almost as bad as Manos: Hands of Fate.

[swag]

10. This one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NUQFt4l_3c

[Richardo]

11. .

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0441567/

[AlCzervik]

12. ok i need to rent that, you've piqued my interest.

[Richardo]

30. No need to rent - just log on to DU

:hi:

[Name removed]

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[NoodleBoy]

46. 13 minutes for a zombie flick???

I just can't even begin to imagine what it would be like. two minutes for title, one minute for intro, one minute for "oh shit something's happening!" one minute for "oh shit these things are zombies!!!" one minute for someone central to the plot to die and reanimate, one minute for protaganists agonizing about killing that person, one minute for the zombies to break in, one minute for the people trying to escape, one minute for finding out if they lived or became zombies, two minutes for credits and music that reminds you that the world doesn't care.

no... that's not possible.

[begin_within]

13. "Glen or Glenda," "Plan 9 From Outer Space," and the worst movie of all time,

"Cycle Vixens" (aka "Young Cycle Girls") from 1978.

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

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[Danger Mouse]

17. Easily 'Manos: The Hands of Fate'

So bad even MST3K couldn't make it good.

[Zomby Woof]

20. I love that one

I am not sure I could have watched it WITHOUT their help.

[Danger Mouse]

42. 'overdrawn at the memory bank' was my favorite mst3k episode...

without the commentary for manos, i don't think one could sit through it without trying to off themself.

[TK421]

92. "There is no way out of here...it will be dark soon...there IS no way out of here"

Torgo-Manos, the Hands of Fate

[mitchum]

19. Tie between "Mandingo" and "Caligula"...

I watch both a couple of times a year.

[Zomby Woof]

22. Mandingo was a late night Cinemax classic

Brings back fond memories of the 80's. :D

[Name removed]

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[mitchum]

25. It's just got so much..,

James Mason hamming it up
70s white trash pin up girl Susan George
an athlete in an acting role
overripe dialogue
the overall luridness of the entire enterprise
a huge budget
Dino Freakin' DeLaurentis...

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

31. Deleted message

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[cmkramer]

26. I agree about "Roadhouse"

My personal choice would be a John Wayne movie from the 1950's called "Big Jim McLain" about tracking down Commies in Hawaii. John Wayne and James Arness are a couple of investigators. It's filled with hilarious over-the-top stereotypes and laughable dialogue. If I know it's on, I never miss it.

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

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[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

32. We'll see if he has

[Name removed]

33. Deleted message

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[GirlinContempt]

43. Yeah, it's really not worth it sweetpea.

When someone who uses other forums to attack, slander and berate people without their knowledge, and then has the audacity to lecture others about the same behavior, it's a lost cause.
Or attack people for upsetting their friend who's very upset about hard times, and then willfully attacks those in similar or worse situations.
Or....
fill in the blank. I'm sure you've got a few.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

34. Kick!

Because I'm pissed off

[sasquatch]

35. D.E.B.S.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXbcvRbLmOw
GREATEST BAD EVAH!!:D

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

36. Ah yes

very nice

[sasquatch]

47. The clip or the movie

[Zomby Woof]

37. A good ol'

ZombyKick. :kick:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

38. Ah yes - you're proud - a proud I say what I feel Patriot

:patriot:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

40. A good ol'

Chavezkick

[JVS]

41. An uncharacteristic JVS is it necessary to have this conflict kick

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

44. I will drop it in deference to those who suffer at this time

But I am furious.

[JVS]

45. I understand. Thanks.

[Richard Steele]

48. Anything Burt Reynolds did after "Deliverance". You want a good quote? Here:

Someone once said, "He's made so much crap, everyone whose movie BOMBS
has to pay Burt Reynolds a royalty".

[KamaAina]

72. Specifically, "W. W. and the Dixie Dancekings".

What could Mom have been thinking dragging me to that cinematic cesspool when I was only 10?! :puke: :puke: :puke: edit: Oh, right, it was what was playing at the one-screen (!) theatre down the road in Cockeysville, MD.

On the other hand, the non-sucking "The Longest Yard" did come after "Deliverance", sayeth Wiki.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burt_Reynolds#Filmography

[Richard Steele]

75. Oh, right you are!

"The Longest Yard" was certainly a fine film! I stand corrected.

[pstokely]

79. Like Cop and a half

[Richard Steele]

80. I only saw the first 15 minutes of that one...

At the time, I was living with a very lovely woman
who cared deeply for me. We rented that film one weekend.

But 15 minutes into it, her knee accidentally hit the VCR-remote
while she was WRESTLING THE PISTOL OUT OF MY MOUTH.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Name removed]

50. Deleted sub-thread

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[BlueIris]

51. "The Hearse." Worst movie I've ever seen.

Possibly the worst American movie ever made. Right up there with "Roadhouse," truly.

[BlueIris]

52. Here's a link to Ebert's review of it, which is classic:

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19800707/REVIEWS/7070301/1023

[Richardo]

55. I'll miss him when he's gone, which I hope will not be for a long while.

He's one of my favorites.

[BlueIris]

56. You and me both, brother.

Long live, Roger!!!

[sarge43]

53. Battlefield Earth

Definitive "Nothing is so awful that it can't serve as a bad example" flick. It should be required viewing in every film school.

I can't say I like it, but in its wretched way it's something of a masterpiece.

[Rabrrrrrr]

54. Toss up between Top Gun and Titanic, but I think it goes to Top Gun.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

58. This:

http://imdb.com/title/tt0322802/

[NoodleBoy]

59. how did so many messages get deleted in this thread?

it doesn't even have the words "9/11 was an inside job" in it

[sasquatch]

60. Too many fans of the movie D.E.B.S.

:D

[jakefrep]

61. "The Day After"

The cheesy special effects.
The Volvo 240 wagon (now that's a DAMN safe car, and shrewd product placement by Volvo) that protected Jason Robards from being vaporized.
John Lithgow trying to play a serious role.

That pretty much sums it up.

[Name removed]

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[MysticalChicken]

64. I have your winner right here.

The Midas Touch

It's horrible. And yet, somehow, strangely amusing.

[Name removed]

65. Deleted message

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[Midlodemocrat]

66. .

:rofl:

:yourock:

[sasquatch]

76. What did I miss?

[CreekDog]

67. 1st Mr. Bean movie

But I loved the show

[KatyaR]

68. "The Brain That Wouldn't Die."

It's just toooo cheesy. And MST3K's sendup is the best--"Jan in the Pan." And all the Ed Wood movies--they's so bad they're good.

In fact, MST3K has ruined me for most good movies--I'd rather see a Gamara movie than just about anything these days.

[mitchum]

81. I love that one (first saw it on television when I was 8)...

for years, all I had was a third generation tape of it, but now I have a pristine copy!

[KatyaR]

95. Me, too--

one of the OKC TV stations used to show these horrible B movies on Sunday afternoons, and that's when I first saw it (and that's when I got hooked on bad movies). It always stuck with me--I think it was the stupidity of an unattached head being able to speak and think by being suspended in a pan of fluid.

Good time . . . .

[flamingyouth]

69. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

I can't believe no one else has mentioned it. :o

[sundog]

94. that's a beautiful film

:thumbsup:

[Mendocino]

70. Nurse Betty

Beyond baddddd. Not even enjoyable in a Showgirls/Roadhouse sort of way. UGH

[petronius]

71. Looks like a lot of votes for "Deleted message" - gonna have to check IMDB

and see what that's about...

[KamaAina]

73. "The One And Only".

Bog-awful wrestling flick which gets extra style points for utterly and completely wasting the considerable talents of Henry Winkler.

[KamaAina]

74. 21st-Century Division: "Failure To Launch"

Possibly the century's worst to date. So bad I could not watch it on an airplane, not even for a Sarah Jessica fix! Now that's bad!!

[Bombtrack]

77. The Paper Brigade

and "Captain Nuke and the Bomber Boys"

[pstokely]

78. "The Buttercream Gang" and other movies produced by "Feature Films for Families"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOWW-r0AWr8

They showed movies these in school, often as "rewards". These movies really need to be rifftraxed.

PumaMan, Hobgoblins (they actually made a sequel recently) and Cop and 1/2 come close

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

83. Army of Darkness.

[Name removed]

84. Deleted message

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[kwassa]

85. The winner appears to be some really bad movie named "Deleted Message"

So many have mentioned it in this thread.

I'll have to see if they have it at Blockbuster.

What's it about?

[cobalt1999]

86. Oh, it's an epic tale...

It starts with a simple jerk who has the lifelong goal of becoming the world's largest asshole. He attacks a man while his wife is dying, never apologizes for his crass behavior, and attempts to slink around as if nothing has happened.

Most people end up throwing up at the mere mention of the protagonist at the end.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

90. I would throw up if I met a person who did that

:puke:

[TK421]

93. That sounds like MST3K material...but it's probably better than

"Good Will Hunting"....what a shitty bore of a movie that was

[Sock Puppet]

87. It's a sordid tale

There was this village that rallied around a townsperson who was facing some hard times. Now this down-on-his-luck guy was the kind of guy who liked to argue, and he managed alienate a lot of people in this little village. But when he found himself in a horrible situation, he opened up his heart to the village. He acknowledged that he had, on occasion, been an asshole. He explained his situation, and shared his pain with the village. And the members of that village reacted admirably. They offered their shoulders to this guy. They offered him the kind of emotional support he needed to get through his difficulties.
But there was this one villager who couldn't let go of his grudge. While he had never actually been elected to any post in the village, he fancied himself the sheriff. He rode in and declared that the down-on-his-luck guy was making the whole thing up (though for what gain no one could determine). He called the villagers "suckers" for being compassionate.
The villagers, who up until this point had tolerated this self-appointed sheriff guy, decided they had had enough and decided to shun him. But he wouldn't let things be, and kept riding into town yelling: "Look at me! I'm the sheriff! I'm the coolest guy in town! My actions have no repercussions!"
So a few villagers told him it might be a good idea to leave town for awhile.
That's what Deleted Message is all about.

[kwassa]

88. Thanks for the plot summary

I think I only saw the previews of this one.

I would never had anticipated such a bizarre plot twist. I had, too, once upon a time, been alienated by the one who suffered this great tragedy.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

91. That's an epic tale of how the community deals with bullshit

2 thumbsup :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

89. EVERYBODY knows about it

some don't acknowledge how much it really sucks