I am sad tonight...

[SPKrazy]

I get to feeling in real life that I'm unwanted...

I'm feeling that way tonight.

I start to feeling like I'm turning into a DU drama queen, or whatever. Maybe that ship has already sailed I dunno.

Anyone else ever feel unwanted?

I know feelings aren't necessarily reality, but right now, in the middle of the night, my feelings take over and run my life.

Sorry that I'm a downer here...

:hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Southpawkicker...

:hug:

Feelings are reality, sweetie...

:loveya:

[SPKrazy]

3. then my reality is

that i feel unwanted if that is the case, so if feelings are reality, then i am unwanted.

i won't accept that i am unwanted.

i know at least one person that wants me but they aren't here right now.

:hug:

:loveya:

[Maraya1969]

23. I think she meant that feelings are real - not reality. I think our feelings

often don't reflect our reality and in your case I am sure that is true. I remember hearing Carolyn Meis talking about whether we are valuable and she told this story where a woman saw another woman on a park bench who seemed sad and so she sat and talked to her for awhile. And she never knew that the woman had planned to kill herself and that just having someone talk to her made her changed her mind.

And then Carolyn Meis said: "So I ask you, do you really think you are not supposed to be here?"

We will never know that impact we have had on other people.

Anyway just a thought for you. I can tell you that in the sea of names here you are a familiar one here that I am always glad to see. So you help me just by being here. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

24. Yes, that is what I meant, my dear Maraya...

Thank you for clarifying it so beautifully too...:hug:

[TK421]

2. You remember that number I gave you?

jeez........................

[SPKrazy]

5. yeah...

and i appreciate it and will call you this weekend when maybe i won't be so fucked up in the head in my thinking.

it's hard for me to call and talk to someone

especially when i feel fucked up

:pals:

[TK421]

16. It's best when I talk to people like that...it's just like me...trust me

:pals: I know...that's why I said that, dude

I can't wait to hear from you, my friend :hug:

[TK421]

22. You will find that I am very easy to talk to...

you'll see

[QueenOfCalifornia]

4. Don't make me smack you!

You are one of my favorite people here.

Really.

does that count?

[SPKrazy]

6. Really?

well that does count for something then :D

I like you too gilligan

[QueenOfCalifornia]

14. Okay....

Sugar Smack and I like you and isn't that all that really counts?

Tomorrow you will be better...

[SPKrazy]

17. yes i will

thanks

:hug: :hug:

you guys rock!

[Sugar Smack]

7. YEAH. What she said.

:D

[SPKrazy]

8. ...

i like you too sugar smack

thanks

:hi:

[Sugar Smack]

10. ....

Southpawkicker, you rock my world.

[SPKrazy]

12. WOW

:hug: :hug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

9. Didn't I also give you a number?

:)

Do not hesitate to call if you get into a bad place. Truly.

Me, I don't mind being unwanted. It's been that way my entire life and I'm just now becoming used to it, in a positive way. I'm giving in to the truth that nothing human can satisfy me. Never could, never will.

I hope California Peggy is feeling okay as well.

[SPKrazy]

11. i wish i could develop a philosophy like that

i've felt that way my entire life as well...

nothing human can ever satisfy me the way i want... a hole in the soul and all that.

thanks

:pals:

[Fire Walk With Me]

21. I've been abandoned, molested, beaten, ridiculed, undermined, and lied to

ad nauseum.

And that was just childhood. Adulthood has featured alchoholism, etc.

When you get beaten down, you can either rebel (inwardly or outwardly) and die, or get to work and do what it takes to live each day.

I had to literally choose between death and living. It takes continual effort and may I say so, the intervention of the higher power to make it possible, but I'm disassembling the drama and ego and it feels sooo good to get over those things, even slowly.

It's hard work but it forms new habits, extremely important habits. You perhaps have an experience of the fear that can rise and overwhelm everything, reducing one to true helplessness. That's where I'm digging out from, slowly. People may see my behaviour but never equate it to fear beyond my control. I can see fear in others as a result of these experiences, and it has given me some compassion as a result. I've needed it!

And no person can or should be responsible for fulfilling my needs. Letting go of that is very important to me at least. The ego appears to be endlessly deep (and utterly selfish).

It's worth the effort. It's worth the work. You alone are worth it. Nothing external can give you self-worth, and the recognition of what you are.

If you have problems with anxiety, learn the meditation of mindful breathing. The body is where the energy of anxiety rests. It can easily be trained and controlled (especially if you're not an addict). The techniques are still around because they work. It's like building muscles. It eventually gets easier and is worth the effort.

Take care of yourself man. Sorry for the soapboxing; some people enjoy it when I rant, but my heart is in the right place, and that's all that matters. One of my favorite things, perhaps my favorite thing, is to see others transcend difficulty and become excited about something they never knew about themselves. I hope that you can find that place of comfort, within yourself. In spite of what the world loves to throw at us, to try and take that place away.

Edit as I may have revealed a privately-shared item. Tremendously sorry if so; it's easy to forget that anyone can read these things. My best to you and yours, SPK.

[Sugar Smack]

28. You?

Rock. That was the best. I wish I could nominate your post alone.:yourock:

[WCGreen]

13. Try running for office if you really want to feel unwanted...

100,000 of my friends and neighbors voted against me...

But, about 52,000 though I was good enough to vote for...

But that is still tough to take...

Not that I am minimizing your pain or your frustration...

More like commiserating...

[SPKrazy]

15. thanks, but

no thanks

:hi:

couldn't deal with that

[SPKrazy]

18. Good Night and Thanks!

I gotta get up at the crack of dawn and drive to the middle of nowhere for a meeting that will last until Saturday afternoon. (hopefully with a break for sleep Friday night)

I guess I'm "wanted" there.

I appreciate the kind and generous things you've said to me and i feel a little better.

i know that i will feel fine again

i have some things to work on, being alone again after 20 years of being married is hard.

:grouphug:

[TK421]

19. Cheer up...dammit! Just picture yourself on my living room wall

:D

Dude...you are SO loved here...please, you're no drama queen, you just tell it like it is

I see it...and others have probably been accused of the same thing

I'm here to vent, too....:D but you already know that!

[Wapsie B]

20. I know what you're saying SPK.

Been there done that, got the T-shirt. But there is no way in hades that either one of us is truly unwanted. You matter. I know the feeling you're going through big time.

[lligrd]

25. Dang Southpawkicker

Why is it that wonderful people like you feel unwanted and idiots like * think they are beloved? Cheer up, many of us look forward to your posts. You are definitely wanted on DU.

[Der Blaue Engel]

26. I have S.A.D. tonight

and will for about half the year. I feel like that a lot anyway, but everything is magnified at this time of year.

FWIW, you're one of my favorite Lounge lizards. I don't join in much (for that very same "unwanted" feeling), but I feel like I "know" some of you after reading your posts. Sometimes I feel like a ghost haunting the Lounge. ;)

:hug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

29. Sometimes I feel like a ghost haunting the Lounge.

Or at least a blue angel :)

[Der Blaue Engel]

30. Heh

Or a boo angel. :rofl:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

27. When you're down and troubled

And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am
Ill come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Youve got a friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wftbahypdAA
:hug::hug::hug:

[lost-in-nj]

31. just saw this

sorry your feeling this way....
I hope today you feel better.
and make sure you put some rockin music on so you stay awake... and bop while your driving
I look forward to your posts to.....
:hi: :loveya: :hug:

I also know of a little boy that probably loves his dad....

take care and drive carefully!!!


lost
blu

[Gormy Cuss]

32. Err, SPK. ..

Take care of yourself.

:hug:

[easttexaslefty]

33. Sorry you're sad

{{{{Hugs to you}}}