I am terrified this morning

[Haole Girl]

I'm terrified over the mental well-being of two different people- both close to me- who have confided how emotionally fragile they are.

I am so afraid. So afraid I'll say or do the wrong thing.

This is something I just don't handle very well.

:cry:

[MrMickeysMom]

1. Is it something you can share?

... only if you want, that is,,,

My first reaction when someone confides in you is that they do this because they either want you to listen and offer a shoulder to cry on, or they want you to offer them advice (therefore, it IS scary).

Maybe first, you can just say, "I am happy to listen whenever you want to talk", and that way, you've been helpful and supportive.

Just my 2 cents...

:hi:

[Haole Girl]

3. Thank you for reminding me of that

Even though one of them has hinted they'd like advice, it would probably be a good idea for me to remind them - instead - I'm there to listen.

I really don't feel comfortable sharing any more of the details, though. I'm sorry. I know how aggravating cryptic threads can be. Thank you again. :hug:

[rockymountaindem]

2. I'm the same way

Well, not terrified, but since yesterday I've been thinking about a friend of mine who I care about very much. She's not exactly in a bad situation. I don't need to worry that's she safe and well fed and things like that. But, she's working very hard and under odd circumstances and I get the feeling that she's just not getting the kind of respect and support she deserves. The worst part is she's thousands of miles away and there's little I can do to make her feel better. Besides, if she knew how much I cared she'd probably get spooked by that. She's not the kind of person who "gets" affection, ya know?

I hope you and your friends feel better soon. Best of luck :hug:

[Haole Girl]

4. I feel like I am the absolute worst...

..person to give relationship advice. But, life is short... if you want to tell her how much you care - and it's from the heart - shouldn't you tell her? But, like I said, I'm not a good one to be dispensing relationship advice! I hope it all works out. :hug:

[rockymountaindem]

5. That would make me feel a lot better

but I think it would make her feel a whole lot worse and could damage our relationship. So, I think it's best that I just not say. OTOH, if she's got any semblance of common sense about emotions etc. she could probably have figured it out two years ago, so maybe she knows and doesn't want to let me know that she knows. Confusing? Yes. Frustrating? Yes. Am I talking like Donald Rumsfeld? Yes. Why? I don't know. But I do know that any potential disruption in the delicate balancing act could end up blowing up in my face. So, I'll just keep my mouth shut for the most part.

[Haole Girl]

8. That is so sad

What if?

Oh... never mind. :hug:

[rockymountaindem]

11. What if I could stop talking like Donald Rumsfeld?

That's a known unknown.

[Haole Girl]

12. Nooooo....

lol!

What if she's hoping you care about her... and waiting for you to say something... and you are afraid to...? But, I don't want to give you wrong advice.

[rockymountaindem]

13. Fair question

and one I don't have the answer to. I'll have to chew on that for awhile...

[DS1]

6. this isn't about a myspace page is it?

talk about going :nuke: over :dunce:

[Haole Girl]

7. No

I don't know about emotional drama on myspace and please, please, please do *not* tell me! Thank you. I can't take too much more. *sigh*

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

9. I know how you feel ...

I am worried about my aunt and her family. She has decided to leave her husband - she is doing everything herself on her own and he does'nt help with anything - so she might as well live on her own.But I am not only worried about her , its my 14 year old cousin and soon to be 20 year old cousin with a 1 year old son who are with her and are on her side. I won't say psycho but her husband has some mental issues that he needs to take care of.This is going to make him even worse but what can she do. He has been doing things like calling his last job threatening them and stuff. I told my mom that I afraid for them when they try to leave you know ... I am just praying right now. I don't want them to be alone with him the house they try to get their things out of the house.Its about time she decided to leave.

[Haole Girl]

10. That's awful

I hope and pray they all get out of that situation safely. :hug:

[marzipanni]

14. This book was recommended this morning by a counselor

who called Bernie Ward's program on KGO810am in San Francisco. Have a look at the website and see if you think it might be helpful.
http://www.moodcure.com/index.html

[Haole Girl]

15. Thank you

Getting the people I care about to read a book, in the middle of their crises, might be challenging. But thank you for the recommendation. I have saved it as a favorite on my computer.

[idgiehkt]

16. hugs

:hug:

I hope they are okay, and please take care of yourself, it's amazing how stressful the problems of other people can be to us. For me sometimes I'd rather go through it myself than have to stand by and watch someone else go through hard times. :hug: :hug:

[Haole Girl]

17. Thanks idg!

I've got to take care of myself... have a 6-day work week this week. Payback is hell! :hug: