So, I went to Red Lobster with a woman last night.

[Magrittes Pipe]

Halfway through our second basket of those crappy (yet addictive) cheesy biscuit things, this dude shows up and starts yelling at us.

Me, I'm like "what the fuck?" and she explains that he's this stalker guy she went to a movie with once, and he's been showing up outside her classes and playing with himself outside her dorm window and shit. So yeah, that was really messed up.

Anyway, after Red Lobster, she took me back to her place and nailed me. It was totally hot. She's into some freaky shit, too.

[underpants]

1. If I were you I would keep THAT ONE close

follow her if need be

[Zuiderelle]

2. !!

:spray:


:rofl:

[MonkeyFunk]

3. ooh! I love those cheesy biscuit thingies...

and I like freaky sex, too! :thumbsup: :patriot: :bounce:

[kwassa]

4. so, you see why that guy was stalking ...

he heard about the freaky shit.

I didn't know cheese biscuits has such aphrodisiac powers..

[TommyO]

9. Cheddar Bay Biscuits are to die for

But not get killed over!

[Evergreen Emerald]

5. ohmygod!

The great sex is not worth it! Run like hell--call the police about the stalker guy. He may be violent.

[Bunny]

6. It was all over campus that she's into the freaky shit.

:thumbsup:

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

7. I think it's time for a discussion on

a serious relationship with such a questionable female.

:evilgrin:

[Magrittes Pipe]

8. Oh, I didn't know she was "questionable." That changes everything.

I wish I knew why the waiter and two of the busboys kept calling her "Dyson," though. That's not her name. :shrug:

[DS1]

10. If he plays with himself long enough to make a stain on the window

that resembles the Virgin Mary, I'd leave her. Otherwise, just open the curtains when you're about to put it in her pooper.

[Magrittes Pipe]

11. About to?

Hell, that's where things started!

[terrya]

12. That's quite an evening

Bad news: stalker guy at Red Lobster

Good news: getting nailed after.

[redqueen]

13. Hah.

:evilgrin:

[Phillycat]

14. I know her!

I hear she's "loose"! :D

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. That would explain the sloshing noise.

[unpossibles]

24. yeah, she must have slipped her collar!!!1!ONE1!

;)

Sorry, that was in poor taste.

[Writer]

16. Wow. Sounds "kinkish."

;)

[AlCzervik]

17. is your name "Sucka"

:applause:

[Swede]

18. W:hat a delightful romantic story.

It brought tears to my eyes.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

19. Did she have any of those cheese biscuits at her place?

Because if there's anything better than having a meal with a woman and her stalker at Red Lobster and then going back to her place and getting nailed with some freaky shit, it's going out into the kitchen afterwards and finding out that she has some of those cheese biscuits in the cupboard.

I mean, the story's still a good one if she didn't, but if she did...

:rofl:

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. I didn't rummage through her cupboards.

Jesus, it's not like I *own* her or anything.

[XNASA]

21. It must feel great for you to know.....

That you've still got it.

I'm quite envious.

[Shell Beau]

22. Bad bad bad!!!!

:spank:






:P






:hi:

[Magrittes Pipe]

23. Hi, sundog!

:hi:

[Shell Beau]

25. Somehow I knew that was coming!

;)

[Magrittes Pipe]

26. That's what she said.

[Shell Beau]

28. Hahaha!! You really are bad!

[PVnRT]

27. I was NOT playing with myself outside her window

I was out for a late-night walk, and had a really bad itch.

As for your dinner, I happened to go to Red Lobster, wanted to say hi, but I have this medical condition that forces me to yell. I'm taking medication for it.

[kwassa]

29. Tourette's syndrome, perchance, combined with jock itch????

[PVnRT]

31. Thank you for understanding SHIT COCK MOTHERFUCKER

[Midlodemocrat]

30. Red Lobster? You fucking troll.

[sasquatch]

37. Hey, I find him to be more trustworthy with TM than matcom

:hide:

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

32. Red Lobster????

I thought it was OLIVE GARDEN that got the ladies all hot and bothered!!!!!

[Magrittes Pipe]

33. Red Lobster makes them take off their clothes.

You know, because they can't long stand to be in clothes that smell like Red Lobster.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

34. ..

:rofl: :thumbsup:

[Beer Snob-50]

35. whoisalhedges is my idol

dinner at red lobster and he gets nailed. we are not worthy.

[Bucky]

36. this sort of thing NEVER happens at the Olive Garden

[Magrittes Pipe]

38. And if it did, one could defend oneself with the breadsticks.