God Help Me...

[RetroLounge]

She's gonna be a teenager some day...



RL

[lizziegrace]

1. Oh yeah...

:hug:

you have my sympathies.

[RetroLounge]

5. Dead. I'm dead...

Maybe I can ship her to a convent somewhere...

:hi:

RL

[leeroysphitz]

2. Shave her head. Dress her up as a beggar boy. It worked in some or other movie

that I saw once on AMC...

It sounds crazy but I think it's your only hope at this point.

[RetroLounge]

4. If I shaved her head, she only pose for pics bald

and still be my death someday...

:hi:

RL

[From The Ashes]

3. You'll have to beat them off with sticks...

:rofl::hi:

[RetroLounge]

6. Can you say "beat them off" and not get the thread locked?

:rofl:

RL

[From The Ashes]

9. Apparently...

...since I did. :hi::P

[RetroLounge]

16. ...

:hi:

RL

[RevolutionaryActs]

7. I suggest you start polishing the shotgun now

It never hurts to be prepared. Poor future teenage boys.. they won't know what's coming. :rofl:

[RetroLounge]

8. But I will...

and I'll see them coming a mile away...

Meet the parents? Ha! You ain't seen nothing yet...

:hi:

RL

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

10. You have nothing to worry about ...

I guess its easy for me to say that since I don't have children yet. But I am 27 years old now and my mom told me that she worries about me more now than she has ever worried about me before.And I told her that I am going to be alright because she is my mom.And your daughter is going to be alright because you are her father. Again its easy for me to say but enjoy her while she is still a little girl because us little girls grow up fast but we never stop needing our parents. Trust me on that one ...

[RetroLounge]

11. ...

:hug:

RL

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

17. Hug back to ya :)

:hug: Remember, we never stop needing our parents. I think I need my mom and family more now since I have moved out on my own ... I feel like my life has just begun and I am 27.

[Rowdyboy]

12. Supposedly, life has a way of biting you in the butt.....

Well, consider yourself bitten my friend, my poor, poor friend....I do not envy you.

Those eyes will break 100 hearts before she finishes college.

[RetroLounge]

13. Yeah, I agree about the 100 hearts

I mean, she's amazingly high maintenance now.

I guess maybe I'll sit back and watch the bodies pile up.

Pity the fool...

:hi:

RL

[SeattleGirl]

14. Take it from a parent who already went through those years.

Yes, they can be trying, even if your kid is overall a good one.

The ALL go through that period of time where they are certain beyond a reasonable doubt that they know WAY more than you do.

You gotta give 'em a lotta love, a fair dash of discipline and limitations, plant a boot in their butt now and then, and before you know it, they grow into fabulous young adults.

:pals:

[RetroLounge]

15. She and her brother are already responsible

for my gray hair...

Maybe I should thank her. :D

:hi:

RL

[SeattleGirl]

20. I started turning gray when I got pregnant with my daughter.

I was all of 24 years old......

[RetroLounge]

21. I shoulda had my kids when I was 24

They'd be outta the house by now...

:D

RL

[Ellen Forradalom]

18. Have I got the man for her

[RetroLounge]

19. Oh, sure, a totally cute cowboy...

that will just mosey on down the trail someday and leave her alone in the saloon...

:hi:

RL


p.s. Whattacutekid!

[Critters2]

22. What you need

is a Louisville slugger

[Ellen Forradalom]

23. To complement your Chicago-father attitude

"Sir, my intentions towards your daughter are honorable..."
"Don't you EVER come 'round this house talkin' like that AGAIN!"

[RetroLounge]

26. First kid who calls me "Sir" gets it...

:hi:

RL

[RetroLounge]

24. Nice choice of bats...

The wooden crack on the skull is so much better than those tinny aluminum bats...

:hi:

RL

[FedUpWithIt All]

25. Too darn cute.

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

27. Hey You!

Yeah, she's something else...

How ya doing?

:hi:

RL

[FedUpWithIt All]

28. Been doing alright....

Quite happy. :D Great partner, great kids, warm home...things are good.

I am getting HUGE!! This hasn't been the easiest pregnancy but i am sure thrilled to be waiting on the little guy.

Life it would seem has been treating you quite well. :D If so i am very pleased to hear it.

[DarkTirade]

29. And the worst part is: She'll do it whether you give your permission or NOT.

My neice is the same way... just blithely turning into a teenager, no matter whether my brother gives her his permission or not.

[RetroLounge]

30. Damn Teenagers...

Maybe I can send her to Guantanamo...

:hi:

RL

[DarkTirade]

31. What I don't get though...

is that they're not supposed to be rebellious UNTIL they're teenagers. So what's the deal with them disobeying their parents and becoming a teenager in the first place, when they're not a rebellious teenager yet?

[BarenakedLady]

32. I hear ya!

My 10 year old just got asked out to go steady.

:scared:

[RetroLounge]

52. ...

:scared:

RL

[momto3]

33. What a beautiful girl!

I have my own (now 8 years old) beauty at home as well. My husband has threatened to smear her face with bacon grease to keep her covered with acne starting as soon as she even remotely starts showing interest in boys. Personally, I don't think he needs to worry. He is 6'7'' tall and will intimidate most boys that come her way. Plus, she is also high maintenance and will probably keep the boys in tears all on her own.

I empathize with your plight!

[Guava Jelly]

34. You poor man.

I'd lock her in the basement until she turns 30.
She is a cutie pie.

[RetroLounge]

53. That's an idea...

Except I've seen 30 yr old Pie...

:D

RL

[Guava Jelly]

61. That you have

And what a pie..
One in a million :D

[Midlodemocrat]

35. Dude. You're fucked.

[RetroLounge]

54. Succinct

and so true.

:cry:

RL

[sasquatch]

63. Hopefully she can avoid letcherous old douchebags from Boston

:rofl:

[RetroLounge]

79. Lets hope so

:rofl:

RL

[Midlodemocrat]

81. Not going to be easy. He has his 'ways'.

:rofl:

[RetroLounge]

82. By the time she becomes TeenRetro

He'll be OldAndDecrepit...

:hi:

RL

[Midlodemocrat]

83. He's already old and decrepit. Hasn't slowed him down one bit.

:hi:

:rofl:

[RetroLounge]

84. Some buckshot to the kneecaps then...

:hi:

RL

[JVS]

36. Send her to the convents!

[RetroLounge]

55. She'd just get in trouble with the Monks...

:hi:

RL

[driver8]

37. I have a five year old daughter...I always say that she is "5 going on 15."

My wife and I are dreading the day when she becomes a teenager.

We are doomed.

[Arugula Latte]

39. Mine's seven going on seventeen.

Last night she lip synced and danced to the song "Fabulous" from High School Musical II. She had the choreography and the attitude down cold.

We are doomed as well.

[evlbstrd]

38. I feel your pain.

But it's going to be alright. Mine's 22 now.

[ThomCat]

40. Despite all the challenges and trouble

and late nights worrying, I hope you have a blast and build a hell of a lot of good memories. :hug:

And it wouldn't hurt to let her potential boyfriends know that you're more than willing to dig a deep hole in the basement. :P

[lizziegrace]

41. ...

:spray:

Thom! You'd make a great father. ;)



:hug:

[ThomCat]

43. I think so too, and so do the parents I babysit for.

But things never worked out. :(

[lizziegrace]

44. ...

:hug:

[RetroLounge]

56. Hell, I'll make them dig their own hole...

It's more satisfying to watch...

:hi:

RL

[ThomCat]

58. That requires a shotgun.

Make sure they bring a change of pants. :P

[RetroLounge]

60. I like the way you think

:hi:

RL

[graywarrior]

42. Stock up on Prilosec now.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

47. Jack Daniels also works...

Lots of it!

[graywarrior]

49. What an interesting combo.

Kinda like Coke and Mentos.

[SarahB]

45. Yeah, well...

My daughter turns 16 in 3 months and her latest boyfriend is 17 (ok, fine), but not only has a car, but is a week away from a pilot's license too. She's 5'9", gorgeous, and looks like she's 22. I'm 35 and feel way to young for this most of the time. She's very smart, active in sports, and has a good head on her shoulders though. College is less than 3 years away.


Still though.... sometimes... :scared:

[Aristus]

46. Allow me to commiserate with you, Retro.

One of these days, you're going to find yourself counting how many times a teenage girl can squeeze the phrase "Like, Oh my GOD, guess what?" into a single telephone conversation. I'm mean, we're talking LIMITLESS capacity here, man... :banghead:

[RetroLounge]

62. She'll have a cell phone by then

and can go talk outside...

:hi:

RL

[soleft]

48. My son turned 18 today

Phew, I made it.

[quip]

50. My daughter left her teens yesterday

They grow up fast! :wow:

[Iggo]

51. Make sure you teach her...

...how to bounce a quarter into a cup.

And tell her WHY she needs to be better at this than the boys.

(Mine's in college right now...yikes!)

[RetroLounge]

57. Good advice...

:rofl:

and welcome to DU!

:hi:

RL

[ThomCat]

59. That is actually very good advice.

:)

[QMPMom]

64. You have my sympathy....I know of a good convent school. And the monks

are miles and miles away!

[conscious evolution]

65. Somewhere,a seven year old boy is sleeping

peacefully,completely unaware of what is coming down the track towards him.

[RetroLounge]

68. ....

:rofl:

RL

[Ellen Forradalom]

71. I see you've met my son

And by the way, he's eight.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7127986&mesg_id=7128061

[MissMillie]

66. sooner than you can fathom

it happens soooo quickly

just look





Now... there's no way I've aged that much... but he sure has.....

[RetroLounge]

75. Sigh...

I'm doomed.

:hug:

RL

[crim son]

67. The fact that she is incomparably beautiful and obviously

rather spirited shouldn't scare you. I bet she's a smart girl who will make the right choices.

[RetroLounge]

69. I believe you are correct...

But damn...

:scared:

RL

[crim son]

80. I'm in the middle of it.

They absorb what you teach them. It's almost surprising.

[GoneOffShore]

70. My best friend is a chef

When his daughter, who was a stunner at twelve, started dating, he would greet every boy who came to pick her up for a date, by coming out of the kitchen sharpening his biggest knife.
And smiling.

[RetroLounge]

74. I will just leave books laying around

about murder, murder and some killing...

:D

RL

[Skittles]

72. here are your rules, babe

http://www.davesdaily.com/funpages/10_rules_for_dating_my_daughter.htm

[RetroLounge]

73. I will print those out and hang them on her bedroom wall

:rofl:

RL

[truedelphi]

77. Overall these are excellent rules except

That the gory horror movies these rules suggest as possibilities for the guy to see with her are actually intimacy builders.
I have never held on to any guy so hard as the guy who took me to see "The Shining"

If a movie makes a person quake in their boots - far better the teenage daughter see it with her dad or her other girl friends. How the dad would actually get the teenage girl to go with him to the mall to see the movie I don't know.

Might take a small inducement - like a sports car for their sixteenth birthday.

or other such knickknack

[Fleshdancer]

76. Yeah, we're in the same boat

Let's build that machine that stops time or something :shrug:

[RetroLounge]

78. OMG! How Cute!

:hug:

Doomed, I say...

RL