Consumer Alert! The free prostate exams in the Safeway parking lot are a SCAM!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Just heard it on the news. If you shop at the Safeway, DO NOT sign up for the free prostate exam offered by the doctor in the white Ford Econoline van parked over by the ATM machines. An investigative report from local news station KNBC-11 has revealed that:

1). Most licensed physicians do not operate out of Ford Econoline vans in grocery store parking lots.

2). Most licensed physicians do not play "Close The Door Baby" by Teddy Pendergrass in the background while administering a prostate exam.

3). Most licensed physicians might ask "do you feel any pain" while administering a prostate exam, but virtually none ask "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"

4). "Roofies" are not officially sanctioned in the medical community and are not "an important prerequisite" to a prostate exam, especially if the "doctor" hands you ten of them and a Mike's Hard Lemonade to wash them down.

Be informed during this holiday season. "Just Say No." There's no such thing as a free lunch, OR a free prostate exam in an unmarked white van in a supermarket parking lot.

Happy Holidays,

A.V.

:grouphug:

[trof]

1. Oh damn. I feel so...so...USED.

Oh well, never again.
Thanks for the heads up.

[Xipe Totec]

2. ROFL!

Thanks a lot, now I gotta go before I...

:rofl:

[libodem]

3. Say WHAT?

:wow:

[lligrd]

4. Just Say, "Thanks For Your Concern, Senator"

but I'm a Democrat.

[lost-in-nj]

5. Thanks for ruining my secret......

huuummfffffff
I will never trust you again....
no more secrets for you!!!!


lost
Oh wait I was in Targets lot......

[Amerigo Vespucci]

6. Now I know why I never shop at Target...

:rofl:

:toast:

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. But.. I got my stereo speakers from the back of a white van...

So I thought that this would be okay too. :blush:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

8. "One stop shopping?"

Well, I can see how it might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but you know what our president says:

"Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again"...

:rofl:

[sarge43]

9. OK, but what about those free PAP exams in the Wal-Mart parking lot? n/t

[MonkeyFunk]

10. But the guy giving hernia exams

in his VW is legit, right?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

11. Yes, keep scheduling appointments with him.

:toast:

[sarge43]

12. Only if you're double jointed.

Yeah, yeah, old joke.

[Hotler]

13. What are "Roofies"? eom.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

14. roofies

Flunitrazepam

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flunitrazepam

Flunitrazepam (IPA: /ˌfluːnaɪˈtræzəpæm/; is marketed by Roche under the trade name Rohypnol. It is a powerful hypnotic drug that is a benzodiazepine derivative. It has powerful hypnotic, sedative, anxiolytic, and skeletal muscle relaxant properties.

Flunitrazepam is commonly prescribed for the treatment of insomnia. Insomnia can be described as a difficulty falling asleep, frequent awakening, early awakenings or a combination of both. Flunitrazepam is a short-intermediate acting benzodiazepine and is sometimes used in patients who have difficulty in maintaining sleep. Intermediate half life benzodiazepines are also useful for patients with difficulty in maintaining sleep eg loprazolam, lormetazepam, temazepam and may be preferable to long half life benzodiazepines which typically cause next day sedation and impairments. Hypnotics should only be used on a short term basis or in those with chronic insomnia on an occasional basis.<1>

The drug is sometimes used as a date rape drug (commonly referred to in street slang as a "roofie").

[IntravenousDemilo]

15. You may have left one out: 5) Most licensed physicians use a finger to give a prostate exam. n/m

[DarkTirade]

16. Also, most physicians don't hold on to both of your shoulders while giving the exam.

Nor do they pop a viagra ahead of time.
Nor should the exam last for an hour.


Goddamn that was a fun exam though.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

17. Hell, you slayed me with that one.

:rofl:

:toast:

[DarkTirade]

24. Yeah, that one just about knocked me out too. :P

[hisownpetard]

26. Sounds like the same guy who wanted to do some tests on me. I said, "Listen, buddy -

if I wanted someone to smear my paps, it wouldn't be you, Poppi."

[SPKrazy]

18. Damn

I really enjoyed that too...

but wait

mine wasn't at Safeway

where was it :think:

hmmmm

I'll have to think on that one a bit

somewhere, big, large parking lot, lots of people, a Ford Econoline van, a woman in a lab coat, gloves, etc.

but WHERE!!!!

we have no Safeway here

:evilgrin:

anyway, she was gentle...

keep picturing several concentric circles...

[BlueIris]

19. Wait, you mean...there are still doctors who work out of actual offices?

I thought that trend went the way of affordable quality health insurance and a decent standard of care.

Next you'll be telling me I can still expect my doctors to do their actual jobs!

[CreekDog]

20. 5) women do not need a prostate exam n/t

[CreekDog]

21. Was it this guy?

<>

[Amerigo Vespucci]

22. Dr. Nick!

GeoCities doesn't let you do a direct link to images, by the way...that's why "<Image>" is appearing instead of the actual image.

:toast:

[Generic Brad]

23. But the Safeway hernia tests are legit? Please tell me they are!

*cough* :blush:

[Orsino]

25. I'm not falling for that one again. n/t