Thanks DU! I just called a guy an "asshat" in front of his family!

[darkstar]

You all that know me know I'm not quick to anger.

I'm at my favorite Mexican place here in greater St. Louis. Just me and 5 Latino customers in this back half of place. I'm grading papers and I can tell they are watching soccer on big screen, i.e. "ohs" and exclamations of all sorts during replays.

Family walks in. Two teens, a married daughter and husband (I'm guessing), plus mom and dad. Crestfallen that "the game" isn't on, Dad turns from his general bitching to family to me: "Don't they usually have the game on?" I truly, politely, say I really don't know (There's always sports of some sort on.)

He corrals a waiter and says "The Rams are on. Can you turn the channel?" Waiter says clearly, "I'm sorry, we're not supposed too."
After Latino waiter moves on, Dad says "I don't think he understood me. I'll change it myself."

I say "I don't think you're supposed too. Plus, those gentlemen in the back are watching this game."

They've begun to carefully avoid the brewing situation, eyes down.

Dad says, really loud "I don't think they'll mind, will ya fellows?" like some sick, racist-type goading from the villain in a western. All the while moving towards tv. "It must be channel 4 here too, huh?" (No moron, this is satellite.)

Button push. TV goes to static. He starts randomly pushing more shit on panel.

It's then I lose it *with no cursing*. Saying how proud he must be making his kids. Saying he can be a dictator in his own house, but not out in public, and how it must be hard to learn at his age. Calling him an asshat (a word I learned here). Laughing sincerely and heartily when he gets about 3 feet from my booth, glaring. By-bye, I say. "Move along."

And they did. Whole family huffed out of the place. Well except the teen girl who looked mortified.

The Latino guys bought me a shot of tequila, and the staff comped my dinner.

And my legend grows.

[east texas lib]

1. They's Sum Peeple....

They's Sum Peeple Yew Jus Cain't Reech!

[darkstar]

3. Ain't that the truth...

And welcome to DU, ETL!!!!

:hi:

[Der Blaue Engel]

2. Congratulations!

I heartily approve. :thumbsup: :D

I was reading your story and when I got to "randomly pushing more shit on panel" I said out loud, "Jesus, what an asshat." (Not even thinking about it being the point of your story.)

:rofl:

edited for emoticono

[darkstar]

5. He's just lucky I didn't unload with some of the other terms

I've learned here.

But unlike this dude, I was aware I was in a public place.

And I sure don't want to imply I was cool throughout. I have rarely done this sort of thing and I was kind of shaking afterward, not from fear but adrenaline pump, I suppose.

Anyhow, DBE, thanks for reading my little story.

:hi:

[xchrom]

4. he skipped his asshat anonymous meeting.

you did well -- schooling him that he needs to first accept and admit his powerlessness over his asshattery.

[darkstar]

6. pure, unmitigated, high-test asshattery

Who needs that Free Rice game when there's DU to teach you cool words and stuff....

[Haole Girl]

7. Woo hoo! Soccer rules!

Oh... when the Cowboys aren't playing, of course! :-)

Glad you made it home in one piece, though. People have been killed, in places I've lived, over similar situations.

Take care. :hug:

[ceile]

8. Brilliant!

Absolutely, brilliant!:applause:

[davsand]

9. You learned "asshat" here? What other fun terms have you picked up?

I find that good swear words are a true gift, and mockery is an art.

Some of my favorites have infiltrated my office (like scumbag and puss sack which have become fairly common in use by my office mates.) On occasion, I find myself searching to expand my vocabulary against moments like you described in your post. Thus, I ask, what other fun words and terms have you learned here?



Laura

[Evoman]

10. My favourite is numbnuts.

[davsand]

12. Oh yeah--I do like that one a bunch.

Fucktard is pretty good too, but it is not acceptable for use in certain situations.

By way of example, I'd be hard pressed to call a guy a fucktard in front of his wife and kids. Asshat really does feel much more correct for the situation and the place.



Laura

[darkstar]

15. Well, some of them cause some consternation here.

But given things have turned to language, one that I've learned is "douche nozzle." A couple of them are touched on below, I see, so no need to repeat them.

As I said below, I am in Belleville, IL. Aren't you in IL, too?

:hi:

[davsand]

18. Oh yes! We are headed your direction Friday!

I had forgotten that you moved down there! Forgive me, please!

Have you settled in pretty well or is it still a struggle? I bet I can free up for coffee or something Saturday afternoon if you want to vent...


:hi:


Laura

[darkstar]

21. Double drats....

I can't make it. Plans already.

I forget, too, if B-ville is a family home or if it's St. Louis in general? And if you're coming from Chicago?

But life is OK. Still doing some Katrina recovery editing, teaching part-time in E. St. Louis. But good vibes about interview I had for full time teaching.

If you get around semi-regular, please keep us in mind for a coffee, ok? That would be super.

:hi:

[davsand]

22. Next time!

The in laws are in Fairview Hgts, so we are down there with some regularity. We live outside Champaign Urbana, so it is not a big deal to buzz down for the weekend. Seems like the holidays are always tough for people to coordinate plans, but I'm thinking maybe we need to try and organize a "gathering" for the St Louis area DUers in the early spring or something.

Want to join me and float the idea once we all survive the holidays?



Laura

[Tyler Durden]

24. "Douche Nozzle?"

Oh that is too good.

As far as phraseology goes though, I was impressed by "...like watching a dog take a shit to music..." among others.

[Sugar Smack]

26. *LOL*

:rofl: :patriot: :yourock:

[Tyler Durden]

29. I wish I could take credit for this one:

Some one on the board was talking about Sean Hannity:

"He has the smug, self assured smirk of a glory hole regular with a mouthful of freshly felched semen."

IMPOSSIBLE to top that one.

[davsand]

30. I'm telling you, it is an ART form!

:applause:

[Sugar Smack]

31. HS Thompson, Stephen King, and DU taught me how to properly cuss.

:D See below.

[Sugar Smack]

25. President George W. Bush has been a HUGE inspiration to me --->

Prince Skidmark. President Pigfoot. King Fallsalot. Scabby McRugburn. Cancerous Earworm. Gutless Wonder. Spoonfed, sniveling waste of oxygen. Tricycle-riding daddy's boy. Goatfucker-in-chief. Lucy Lucifer. Sir Scabmagnet. Boiling vat of nothing. Prick. Drunken Busdriver. Mister Hankey. President Neverland. Prince Snootypants. Murdering Fucknut. Mister Rice. Captain Pockmark. Omega Man. Cockadoodie-Brat-in-chief. Mincing, brain-damaged cipher. Worst-Case-Scenario. Ass-head.

Shit-throwing monkey fucker. Asshat. Disgrace. Embarrassment. Assrot. Pus on the boil of a chimp's ass. Captain Veggie. President GermyLips. Scab-faced cretin stinkrot. Gunnysack of weasel shit. Buffoon of the highest order. Profoundly stupid, blazing infestation of crablice. His mighty, incompetent Loftiness. Brain-Dead Meathook. Sphincter-mouthed, pabulum-spewing King of the shitstorm. Slab-sided pasty-faced, pucker-butted, deplorable son-of-a-bitch bastard.

President Unholy Travesty. Giggling Murderer. Contemptible Piece of Trash. Pinheaded drug-addled Test Monkey. Shit-pantsed, apoplectic coward (thanx for 9-11, BTW). Contrary Little Slow-Witted Moron Fuck. President Foul. President Cokehead. President Horseshit-on-a-stick. Empty-Headed Shit-Shuttle. Prima-Donna Neanderthal. Stinkeyed Freak. Cartwheeling Purveyor of Death. Spluttering Lunatic. Madman. Bumbling, Slack-Jawed Vegetable. Dismal, Offensive, drooling Ratbag. Weevil. Kunkus. Punk.

Chucklehead. Captain Clusterfuck. Shit-on-the-boots of he Anthropoid Rabble. Dick. Coarse Aberation of Humanity. Sorry, Unfeeling, Unfunny Milquetoast Comedian. Lout. Sluggard. Uncouth Hillbilly. No-Account Clown. Lump. Muckworm. Diseased, Two-Hoofed, greased snake, Pestilent Botch-of nature Bastard. Impudent, indigest, pestilent, Deformed Want-Wit. Black-Livered and Black-Hearted nest of Maggots. Nightmarish, capering little Smirk-Eyed Night Crawler. Ugly, depraved Jackass trail of Cat-Sick.

[davsand]

32. Sugar Smack, you really need to stop being so repressed.

It is just a shame how you refuse to speak your mind.


:evilgrin:


I was holding together just fine until I got to President Horseshit-on-a-stick and I spooged my coffee. It was a perfect spit take, and I credit you for it. Well done!!!!


:woohoo:



Laura

[Sugar Smack]

33. Normally I'm more Pollyanna Sunshine than Lilith-

but that simpering beet-nosed hooraw's nest really brings it out in me.

Thank you, darlin!!!:toast:

[deadparrot]

11. Hey, another St. Louisan!

:hi:

Where was this, if you don't mind me asking?

[darkstar]

14. Over at the very edge of things in Belleville IL.

Where you at?

:hi:

[deadparrot]

16. Lived most of my life in South County...

another haven for redneck, not-so-closeted racists. :eyes:

I'm up in the northeast part of the state for college now, but its always nice to see another person from the metro area here. :hi:

[Ellen Forradalom]

13. Bravo!

:applause: :applause:
Stick it to the man!

[rockymountaindem]

17. Well played

:toast:

[Solon]

19. From yet another local, I say well played...

Its nice that they gave you a shot of tequila!

[Connonym]

20. awesome!

who ever said that you can't learn valuable things on DU! Asshat is the new moran

[redqueen]

23. If I had a hat, I'd be tippin it to you!

Fuckin bastards. "The game"... um, scocer IS a game, you frickin imbecile. And it's far more popular than your beloved armored-fatty ball.

Dipshits.

[LSK]

27. if the games on, why go out????

:wtf:

[WildEyedLiberal]

28. You're my new hero.

What IS it with racist WASPY assholes going to eat at Mexican restaurants? I am a pretty frequent customer of my favorite Mexican place here in town, and at least once a month there's a table with people who are patronizing/rude to the wait staff. If you can't treat the staff as courteously as you would the staff of fucking Applebee's, then eat at fucking Taco Bell. The workers at Mexican and Latin American restaurants are invariably some of the most polite, hard-working waitstaff I encounter while eating out, too, so it doubly pisses me off.

So thanks for taking that asshat down a few pegs.

[Eurobabe]

34. Good for you!

I personally like the suggested douche nozzle. Good one!