Nothing but f'n assholes!

[graywarrior]

Since last week I swear to f'n god, I have dealt with one ass fucking hole after another. It just doesn't stop. A stream of them all lined up into the horizon laying down shit they really believe I'm supposed to believe. It's a god damn epidemic and yes, I'm probably the biggest A hole of all....although I doubt it. My fault seems to be that I attract them.

God, I suck.

[Writer]

1. I've bumped into my share of f'n assholes, too!

And they're full of shit and treat me like a naive little girl. Fuck them!

:toast:



PS: I qualify my thoughts with my own momentary bouts of assholery.

[graywarrior]

5. They're like an asshole virus.

They're even dressed up like nice people. Fuckers.

[Writer]

11. I live and will die by the mantra that people suck.

Because they do.

[graywarrior]

13. I tried so hard to conform into a "people loving unit."

I do not belong out amongst the rest of them.

[Writer]

24. You should have seen me when I temped at the Christian publishing company...

talk about a lack of conformity! :puke:

Yeah, I identify with what you're saying about not fitting in.

[graywarrior]

26. Working with Saint Devils.

Oy. How did you stand it?

[Sugar Smack]

2. K&R! K&R!

:loveya: :applause:

That's what the boss at my work is. She tried out for "bitch" but she didn't make the cut because she was far too stupid.

[graywarrior]

12. Nothing worse than a bitch wannabe.

[Sugar Smack]

14. "I'm just a regular joe

With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a real f**king asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
NAAAHHHHH!

http://www.metrolyrics.com>

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear F**kin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!

*dog barking noises*

I'm an asshole and proud of it!"

-Denis Leary

And you're so right--nothing worse than a bitch wannabe.

[graywarrior]

16. Oh god, Denis and I are so related.

Twin flames (or twin flaming assholes...whatever)

[Der Blaue Engel]

23. You mean this one?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MNzZzsvOClc

:hi:

[Ellen Forradalom]

3. Been driving on the CA freeways?

It's a parade of douchebaggery out there.

[trof]

4. I see a new career for you.

Asshole Attractor.
Kind of a Pied Piper.
Chambers of Commerce would hire you to slowly cruise retail stores and then drive waayy out of town to some remote point.

[graywarrior]

6. I could give some real good tours to the houses of all the assholes I have

had the misfortune to run into in FL. It would take me weeks. WEEKS!

[ThomCat]

7. I think they come out of the woodwork right before every major

holiday. x(

[graywarrior]

10. Oh, and don't they just LOVE to use the holidays as a reason to be

the biggest flaming asshole that ever walked the earth.

Where to people think they can just yell at you on the phone? Because you disappointed their unrevealed expectations? Fuck that! Got a problem with your mommy, dude? See a therapist.

[ThomCat]

17. You have to work on the phone a lot?

I have had a fantasy for years of a button that sends a jolt of electricity through the line. :evilgrin:

With tasers in the news I guess it's not a harmless fantasy, and I'd hate the idea of the idiots out there being able to do the same thing. But it's still a very satisfying fantasy every now and then.

[graywarrior]

18. My fantasy is shoving my fist through the line right down their throats and yanking out their spleen

[ThomCat]

21. That is wonderfully direct.

:rofl:

[graywarrior]

28. Which is why people act like an asshole around me.

:rofl:

[hisownpetard]

35. Ya know, you shouldn't hold things in like that. Go ahead - just say what you mean!

[redqueen]

8. Yeah... I'm used to 'em.

They kind of have the run of things down here. x(

[Droopy]

9. Some people just like being jerks

It seems to me to be becoming a necessary trait if you want to get anywhere in life. A friend, who is a nice guy, once told me after he had too much to drink that to get anywhere in this world you have to be a dick. I don't think that's true across the board, but in many aspects of life it seems to be the case. A lot of people just don't seem to admire kindness and generosity, but that isn't going to stop me.

[Highway61]

15. I'm with ya

I got so sick of folks telling me..."Oh, so you are right and THEY are all wrong." and I would say "yeah, because they're all assholes...it takes a real good asshole to know another one. Good post...thanks

[graywarrior]

20. Exactly!

I've done my share of fessing up to being an asshole. It's their turn now. I'm not backing down.

[billyskank]

19. Hey gray

:hi:

[graywarrior]

22. Hey.

:nuke:

:hi:

:pals:

[billyskank]

25. .....

:hug:

:loveya:

[KG]

27. yep, it's assholes all the way down.

[Yavin4]

29. Hey, Ever Hear of the Asshole Song?

I always sing this to myself when I see an asshole:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=n2hDYu8Hvv0&feature=related

[graywarrior]

30. It's my theme song.

[fizzgig]

31. it's an epidemic of assholes

and i still haven't found the vaccine x(

[graywarrior]

33. The only cure is a gun.

[fizzgig]

36. i should not be allowed to have a gun

gods only know what would happen

[graywarrior]

38. Neither of us should have access.

[hisownpetard]

37. You need to come up north and see some real trees (didn't you say you were in Fla?)

[mainegreen]

32. OL:"The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant asshole."

S:"So, what is the asshole standing on?"
OL:"You're very clever, young man, very clever, but it's assholes all the way down!"

:P

[CreekDog]

34. they are like ninjas