Things you regret.

[Deja Q]

For me; it's not having a family.

I'm lucky to have relatives who like having me around. But not finding that special lady to build a life with...

Oh, it's never too late, and regret should ALWAYS remain a small part of one's life, but still...

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Inchworm]

2. Not outright purchasing my daughter from her crackhead mother

when she was born.

That is all :P

:hi:

[SPKrazy]

4. ah man

:hug: :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. running away when I was 14 and NOT running away when I was 16.

timing is everything.

[zingaro]

5. So hard to make this list.

At the top of it would be "I regret getting married" but the alternative means the sacrifice of my children.

Each of my own regrets represents a chosen path that didn't live up to expectation - a lesson learned the hard way. Does that mean those were wrong choices? No, because I made them with the best information I had at the time. There are several choices I like to think I would rethink but the bottom line is that I'm pretty good with me at the moment and my life, though far less that ideal by some people's standards, is OK at the moment. Most importantly, I've learned things from those choices that absolutely factor in each choice I make as I stride toward the future.

So can I regret the past? Not really - I don't need to, as long as I'm walking forward.

Right? Tell me I'm not insane. Please?

[Deja Q]

13. Never regret the past. I have learned it consumes more readily than a pig at the sugar trough.

You are far from insane. As for me, perhaps I am the insane one. :7

[femmocrat]

6. It's never too late, HypnoToad!

Truly! My brother just got married (for the first time) and he is in his 50s. They are perfect for each other and having a wonderful life.

Now if we could only find someone for my sister! LOL

Regret doesn't have to part of your life. Being single, you have the opportunity to all the crazy things married men wish they could still do!

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i thought you were bi.

[Droopy]

9. It looks as if the 'Toad has reinvented himself

I don't know how well that works, though.

[Deja Q]

15. Time will tell.

As with all things in life, some people do better than others.

Without venturing into "TMI Territory", late 2005 was a turning point... If you read my other responses, they will help shed light onto the whole situation. Reinvention has not come about due to idle fantasy; there are elements of repressed emotions at work too.

Hence the irony.

[Deja Q]

10. That is technically correct. However, that is a technicality. But that is a transistor compared to

the entire computer. (how's that for the constrained analogy I shall now adumbrate upon?)

Who I choose to sleep with or have a relationship with is just a relevant. I needn't fear that part of myself. I acknowledge it and move on. I do need not indulge in every idle fantasy my mind generates. It exists. It can be controlled. I control it. It will not control me.

I am more emotionally compatible with women; and relationships based on solely physical exchanges go nowhere. I learned that long ago.

Besides, both sides have said "make up your mind" and every other stereotype accorded bisexuals. So I made a choice and I call myself "heterosexual".

I've said all this before and I've no problems saying it again, with the same level of detail. There is far more to all this, but I do not believe it would be... appreciated.

No, I have no qualms repeating myself; it's also a self-reminder of the choices I make and adhere to. You may even call it "self-indoctrination" if you wish.

For making that choice, I have no regret.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. ok so you are heterosexually identified now? i was just confused

when i first was on du you were gay, then year later bi, and now straight.

i was just confused.

[Deja Q]

14. I apologize for causing the misunderstanding.

Yes, when I was first here on DU I did call myself "gay". I was also that many years younger, and had also made a choice - I wanted to build a life with a man. Right down to signing up for every little cause and pamphlet devoted to equal civil rights, et cetera... And I was very much outspoken. Even my counselor of the time, a gay man, felt all the bumper stickers on my car were way too much. (not the Jerry Falwell can suck my tinky winky garbage; it was 100% serious despite being 100% non-threatening, just "Love makes a family", "hatred is not a family value", and the sort... making what I thought was a valid statement, and not a joke. To that car, I can only say "the world is made up of all types"; there wasn't a response that wasn't imaginable that I didn't get. In short, my interest in advancing anyone's causes diminished over time...)

I did have some feelings for women, but I had kept those bottled up at the time. I knew all the stereotype accorded bisexuals and didn't want to tinker in trivial technicalities. Ironic; I usually love to waffle in insanely intrinsic levels of detail. But I did have feelings for women at the time too.

Around late 2005, a handful of events did have me change the "classification" to bi. As anticipated, one stereotype I could not escape was the one that bi men are seen as promiscuous and unwanting of a monogamous relationship. Getting a date was... impossible, never mind the unsolicited arguments. It took more experiences and interaction, rather than just hearing what other people say and living from that, for me to make up my mind and move on. But the discussions I had with people were most enlightening. So I knew I had to make the choice anyway, and with real life situations as empirical evidence, I changed the "classification" to heterosexual.

(Also knowing how infidelity hurts people, and witnessing it to boot, if I see a ring or other sign, I'll turn away.)

I don't expect to be believed regarding the present either. But what I've said is the truth.

At 12:30 I'm going to do my exercise routine. (2 hours after a meal is usually the ideal time... or was it after 1 hour? I'll have to look that up too... :) )

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. best of luck.

generally speaking the ex gay thing really doesnt work.

but good luck anyway.

[TrogL]

8. Have you tried working the other side of the street?

Take a walk on the wild side.

Trip the light fantastic.


err...you know what I mean

[Deja Q]

12. A long time ago.

It was not spiritually fulfilling. For lack of better term.

[demnan]

17. I've wondered about that myself

But I've seen so many more people in horrible marriages than in good ones. One of the lucky ones is my oldest brother. He and his wife have a wonderful strong relationship, 2 grown children and now the grandchildren. But I was never very wise in choosing boy friends and now I'm too old (50) and set in my ways.

Good thing when I was young I always figured I'd be an old maid with cats. Cause that's what I am!