Keep a positive thought for us tomorrow, if you wouldn't mind...

[reyd reid reed]

#3 son and I have to go down to the school district main offices for a disciplinary hearing. He's been such a threat...I mean, gee...he got busted in the cafeteria with an apple in his mouth, causing another student to hit him. This was grounds for a 5-day suspension and a referral to the district for further disciplinary action, up to and including possible expulsion (incidentally, the student who hit him was asked to go back to his seat. End of story).

This was the third in a string of offenses, though. He was also suspended for five days immediately before Christmas break (causing him to miss finals) for being a few minutes late to math and, instead of skipping (like a lot of other kids would do if they thought they'd get in trouble), he went to the office to ask for a pass.

In addition, he was suspended for three days for saying 'Fuck, yeah!' when he was at his locker and heard that they had a sub for...I forget which class.

I kid you not. These are the three violations for which they want to expel him.

Keep a good thought for us tomorrow. Please?

[Inchworm]

1. I love you

that is all :D

:hi:

[reyd reid reed]

5. Awwwww....

I needed that.

:hug:

[Fleshdancer]

2. is he singled out by the way he dresses or something?

One of the many reasons why I hated my high school was because the kids who had the right look got away with murder while the kids who exhibited ANY kind of self expression seemed to be singled out as trouble makers regardless of their actions. It was a pretty conservative area unfortunately.

[reyd reid reed]

4. I believe that's exactly what's happening.

He sports combat boots, a 'hawk (though he doesn't wear it up at school because the dress code prohibits it), he likes studs (but no spikes, since those violate the dress code, too) and plaid pants.

The don't like the way he looks. It's that simple. He and his friends have a band. It's an 80's style punk band and they call themselves The Anarkists. He's not allowed to write his band's name on anything. Not because it's promoting the band or commercial in nature, but because of the name. He had to take an "SLC Punk" patch off his jacket last year. I could go on and on, but...

:mad:

[Fleshdancer]

8. damn, I hate to hear that.

It doesn't surprise me, but I still hate to hear it.

Good for you for advocating on his behalf and for raising a son who has a sense of self. Both are not easy feats for a parent. Good luck and keep us posted.

:hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

3. Jesus.

There just aren't words sometimes. I'm sorry this is happening to him. He must feel as if the administrators are just out to get him. :-(

My older boy had similar issues in school. Some of it he brought on himself; but most was the result of a school system that values image more than honesty, and seeks to squelch individuality.

[reyd reid reed]

6. That's pretty much it.

They tell the kids to express themselves and to explore different things. Then, if they don't fit into this narrow little box that they seem to think that all 'good' little boys and girls should fit into...

Wham!

[soleft]

28. Are there any school alternatives in your area?

Is it public or private?

We were lucky in NYC, because you have your zone school, but then there were 4 or 5 choices of other public schools to choose from.

Good luck to both of you!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

30. I homeschool my younger boy...

My older son has been working since he chose to stop going to school. I still have hopes that he'll get his GED and ultimately further his education. But I learned a long time ago that pushing him in a particular direction only serves to drive him away from it. He's moving out soon; and I suspect that having bills to pay will make him rethink many things.

Homeschooling works well for us, and I'm glad we have it as an option to the local schools, as we can't afford private schools, and it doesn't impress me that they're that much better than the public schools anyway.

[Heidi]

7. This is where zero-tolerance policies has led, isn't it?

I understand having no tolerance for weapons, bullying, etc., but it seems to me that zero-tolerance has become an excuse to single out kids who are "different," in many cases.

Good vibes to you, gf. I'll light a candle for y'all. :hug: :hug:

[reyd reid reed]

10. Thanks, Heidi.

It's ridiculous, is what it is. I'm not one of these parents who constantly finds excuses for her kids. Last year my daughter threatened to disrupt school and the learning environment, so I pulled her. No questions. They didn't have to ask or even suggest it. She was at risk of being a detriment to other students and, as much as I love her, I wasn't going to let that happen.

This isn't anything like that. The boy hasn't been drinking or smoking or fighting or vandalizing or bullying or threatening or bringing drugs or weapons. He's not made any threats -- he's not even been disrespectful to the administration. They've admitted that much, "When we ask him to do something (or not do something), he's respectful and does what we ask." He doesn't disrupt the classroom...

They don't like the way he looks. They don't like his politics.

Period.

:nuke:

[Heidi]

14. That's exactly what I mean.

Zero tolerance is the inch that becomes a mile. That's why I'm a bigger fan of case-by-case analysis as opposed to broad policies and initiatives that are easily abused by "the establishment." I'm sorry you're son is being bullied by the school system. :hug: :hug:

[bridgit]

9. Oh Honey!! I raised a little boy to manhood, no one can say for sure just what...

may have happened with any real detail which is why I am able to truly empathize :hug:

[reyd reid reed]

11. It's just so stupid.

I've heard from other teachers...and I'm even going by what the notices of suspension have said. Oh...and, although he didn't get suspended for this one, they refused him admittance to a school dance and then, when I went to pick him up, they had the security guard follow him to his locker.

wtf?

[SeattleGirl]

12. Aw, jeez, rrr.

So is the school run by teachers and admin people or by the police?

Positive thoughts for your son and you. :hug:

[reyd reid reed]

15. Thanks, hon.

I've got a feeling I'm gonna need all the PE I can get. I alternate between feeling nervous (funny how school can still do that, even 30 years later) and being furious. Between now and tomorrow morning, I'm gonna have to find a happy medium.

:hug:

[Der Blaue Engel]

19. Oh, yes, school can still make you feel like that

Ugh. I went through something similar with my son from 2nd grade through middle school. Every time I was called in, I felt like I was the child. I'm the one with the different look (I color my hair in unnatural shades and have piercings and tattoos) and they definitely treated him differently because of it.

He was suspended for two days when he was 7 for "disrupting the learning environment" because he kept getting out of his seat.

When he was 11, he skipped school to stay home and play video games while I was out of town (his grandmother was staying with him and drove him to school, but he got on the bus and went home after she dropped him off...sneaky little bugger), and their solution was to threaten him with expulsion if he ever skipped another class. I asked them how threatening him with staying home was supposed to be an incentive not to stay home and they were not amused. Then I was told that I could do jail time if I couldn't keep him from skipping class. :eyes:

I'm sorry you and your son are having to deal with this stupidity. Sending you major good vibes. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. Good thoughts absolutely, my dear reyd reid reed...

What they're trying to do to your son is just obscene...

I am so angry for you...

How dare they?

Is there some other school that would be a better fit?

Good luck tomorrow...

:hug:

[reyd reid reed]

16. There are other schools...

but at this point, he's missed nearly all of January, he missed the last week of December before the break and he needs tutoring to get him caught up. Tutoring which, I think, they should provide. Putting him in another school isn't really going to help, I don't think. Besides, he's in the 8th grade...this semester and he's out of that particular school.

It's just....frustrating.

[BreweryYardRat]

17. Yeesh, that's bullshit.

That's administrative misconduct right there.

[orleans]

18. sorry to hear this.

(and i'm a little slow--i don't get the apple in his mouth in the caf--what's that about?)

[Oeditpus Rex]

20. Want me to go with ya?

I can be diplomatic.









Really. I can.

[Guava Jelly]

21. Of course Triple R

I hope it all turns out for the best.
:hug: (nice to see you around btw) :hi:

[Callalily]

22. Wishing you and your son

a good and productive meeting.

It saddens me to learn that school administrators have not changed. Please tell your son to hang in there and to choose a liberal arts college when the time comes. He'll definably find his niche there!

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

23. Oh Lord Reidie Sweetie

if its not one thing its another

:hug: :hug:

always positive thoughts for you my friend

[Midlodemocrat]

24. If you read this before you go...postpone the meeting and get a lawyer.

Nothing scares educators more than the threat of legal action.

[sasquatch]

25. Well how dare you actually give people good advice!

:eyes:
Midlo.

[Sock Puppet]

26. Wait a minute...what?

A five day suspension because some kid hit him? How does this happen?
Unless I am not understanding...what's the significance of having an apple in his mouth? Aren't kids allowed to eat fruit in the cafeteria? Or does an apple in the mouth mean something nefarious that I don't understand? Or was he making fun of a heavy kid or something? I mean...what the hell?? How do you get suspended for having an apple in your mouth???

[av8rdave]

27. Positive thoughts have been sent

Hope it all turns out the best possible way!

[Redstone]

29. I'd do anything for you, and you know it. I just wish I had the $$ to hire an attorney

for your son.

..."he got busted in the cafeteria with an apple in his mouth, causing another student to hit him?" Huh? Isn't your mouth where an apple is supposed to be?

I just don't get it. Deep breaths before you go into that meeting, but at the same time, don't hold back. Mention "my attorney" at least once, even if you don't have one.

Redstone

[VenusRising]

31. All the best vibes coming your way.

I'm sorry that you and your son have to deal with this.

:hug: