ok...ooooookaaaaaay. If a woman says she going to email me, and it's 3 months later...

[chromotone]

...and she hasn't, then am I suppose to assume she isn't?

I mean, I keep hearing about how guys don't call or don't connect. But when I read "will talk to you soon" (I know, I know...you really can't "talk" to someone via email, but I assume it's colloquial, meaning "we will communicate soon"), and "just a quick hello back, will write more..." and here it is 3 ****ing months later and I don't receive anything, do I just assume it was empty rhetoric design to spare me my feelings?

I know I'm a little slow on the uptake and tend to take people at their word, but have I just experienced the "brush off?"

And this, on Valentine's Day, no less! :cry:

[Solon]

1. Yeah, you've been brushed off, I know how that feels, same time period too!

That's a coincidence, but anyways, yeah it sucks, but try to move on, I view it as immature to just stop communicating like that but its just the way things are. Sorry. :hug:

[chromotone]

3. So what was she thinking while she was typing?

"Aha, chromotone, I have absolutely no plans to email you after this! But will say I will just to..." What?

I can't imagine her thinking this!

[Solon]

6. All I know is that if you think about it too much, you'll just be depressed...

of course, I wish I followed my own advice, I'm feeling depressed for similar reasons.

[chromotone]

8. Well, I'm trying to understand this by observing the email behavior of my male friends

For example, I have a friend who I emailed the second week of December with possible dates for lunch. He's in academia and had a couple of weeks off between semesters. He asked me to provide him with some dates during this time since I was working through this period and needed to arrange a day off (we have very long lunch visits). Well, I gave him a few including January 18, the last date we could get together according to his parameters. I have yet to hear back from him and it's February 14! Yet, I don't think he said "Let's have lunch. Give me some dates," to spare my feelings. I think he's just absent-minded.

[alarimer]

2. yes. "I'll call you" invariably means they won't.

Having been burned too much by expectations that were too high, I have learned never to believe ANYONE when they say things like that, especially at the end of a date. They don't mean it.

[northzax]

4. hey, that's not fair

we totally mean it, at the time.

oh look, bright shiney object!

[Solon]

5. When I say "I'll call you" I mean it...

but who knows, I may be in a minority on this.

[chromotone]

14. Hey, Solon!

This one's on me...

[Solon]

15. Thanks, I'll need the drink...

I really don't feel that good about today, at all.

[Redstone]

7. Jeez, "slow on the uptake" doesn't BEGIN to describe it. I don't mean to sound unfriendly,

but...yeah. You're NOT going to get that e-mail.

And why the hell did you wait so long anyway? Faint heart ne'er on fair maid,]/i] and all that.

If you were interested in the woman, you should have told her so, instead of waiting around like a passive schleb. Ever think, maybe, THAT's why you didn't hear from her?

Trust me on this one.

Redstone

[chromotone]

10. I didn't want to appear "desperate"

Or "anxious" These traits are always turnoffs for the ladies...

[Iris]

9. maybe she lost your email address

I do crap like that all the time.

[chromotone]

11. You may be right...

I just assumed she kept my email in her inbox, like I do. But then, she has my business card with my email address on it, so she would have to lose the card as well.

I'll try emailing her in the summer and see if she responds then...

edited for spelling...

[Iris]

12. ha! ha!

the summer? try NOW!

[huskerlaw]

16. In the SUMMER?!

Are you serious?

For pete's sake, man. You've already sat around waiting for her since LAST YEAR. Either email her now or move on.

[pitohui]

13. i always assume an email has been lost, since they get lost so often

however, since you let three months go by and she didn't try again (assuming she tried the first time) it's safe to say that it's too late anyway

if i'm expecting an email and it doesn't come, and i don't find it in my junk (or my junk is set to immediately dispose of it) then i contact the person after a few days to a week to see what's up

after that, still no answer, you've got to give it up

but she probably isn't going to wanna hear from you after 3 months in any case even if you're prince charming himself, life moves on, you know?

it could be that you were politely brushed off, no way to tell now, and it doesn't really matter now, the moment is gone

your plan to wait until summer and then communicate with the lady is ridiculous, unless we're talking about the mating rituals of the galapagos tortoise or something, it's already too late, just forget it and go forward