The Piano Has Been Drinking

[fishwax]

Tom Waits plays "The Piano Has Been Drinking" as a guest star on "Fernwood 2-Night." Have you ever heard a Tom Waits song with a laugh track? :rofl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gwUtEEjZJ8

And if you care to listen to the album version (with, mercifully, no laugh track) here it is paired up with some random images of Portugal ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91s9eUcFU7g&feature=related

[Richardo]

1. "...and you can't find your waitress....with a Geiger counter...."

"Small Change" is one of the best albums ever. Thanks for the earworm! :thumbsup:

[EnviroBat]

2. "and she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served

without her..." Great tune...

[fishwax]

3. woke up with it in my head today

definitely not the worst song to have for an earworm :)

"Small Change" is one of the best albums ever.
Totally agree :thumbsup:

[BrotherBuzz]

4. Dan Hicks covers this song well

in fact I enjoy Hicks' version more, but that's just me.

Dan Hicks - The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) lyrics
Artist: Dan Hicks lyrics
Album: Other Song Lyrics
Title: The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)



The piano has been drinking

My necktie is asleep

And the combo went back to New York

The jukebox has to take a leak

And the carpet needs a haircut

And the spotlight looks like a prison break (It's bright!)

And the telephone's out of cigarettes

And the balcony is on the make

And the piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking



And the menus are all freezing

And the light man's blind in one eye

And he can't see out of the other

And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid (Say what?)

And he showed up with his mother

And the piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking

Mmm...



And the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler

Cream-puff Casper Milktoast

And the owner is a mental midget

With the I.Q. of a fence post

'Cause the piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking



And you can't find your waitress

With a Geiger counter

And she hates you and your friends

And you just can't get served without her

And the box-office is drooling

And the bar stools are on fire (Talk about a hot seat!)

And the newspapers were fooling

And the ash-trays have retired

'Cause the piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking

Not me

[fishwax]

7. i've never heard that version

didn't even know it was out there--I'll have to keep an eye/ear out for it :thumbsup:

[BrotherBuzz]

8. The deal is, Hicks doesn't even play the piano - but he used to have a huge reputation for drinking

He's mostly cleaned up his act, but I sat next to him in a bar, decades ago, and witnessed him fall backwards and land on the floor, still sitting on his bar stool. That takes talent and lends some creditability to the idea of blaming the piano.

After one song's applause died down, Dan complimented the audience on the applause "That was a real good job on the applause. Nice and loud, and then it stopped all at once. That's how we like it. When you're done, just stop all at once. Don't drag it it on. Applaud, then stop. Thank you." When someone called out requests, Dan gave 'em the evil eye and spat out "We'll be picking the songs this evening, ladies and gentlemen". He dedicated the version of I Scare Myself to the Catalyst nightclub, where he admitted that he'd left town under "let's say, weird circumstances" in the past. (He was referring to the time in 1984 that he was so drunk he laid down on the stage and wouldn't play. The show was cancelled and he was banned from the Catalyst forever.)

A couple of tunes featured two violins, with Annabelle (one of the Lickettes) joining Brian Godchaux* for a twin violin sound. (Dan: "And now we're going to feature our twin violins. Even the Grateful Dead couldn't claim that."). Dan also did The Piano Has Been Drinking, (Dan deadpanned: "Tom Waits is gonna be real glad I recorded this song. This song has kinda done nothing for years and years, and now it's going to be a big hit. Yes, Tom's gonna say, I'm sure glad that Hicks fellow recorded that song"). One surprise was a Jimmy Rodgers country tune, with Dan yodeling and encouraging the audience to join in the yodeling (Dan: "Jimmy Rodgers was the first country artist, back in the 20's. Yep, the first country singer to sell out."). Dan was in fine voice throughout the show, with some brassy low voicing (remember the album version of O'Reilly at the Bar?) and even some wheezy Bob Dylan parodies during a couple of tunes.

*Brian's brother, Keith, and sister-in-law, Dona, used to play for the Dead.

[Shine]

12. Interesting story there, Brother Buzz.

are you speaking of The Catalyst in Santa Cruz, by any chance? Cuz that's where I live and I've been to the Catalyst many many times over the years, although I've never seen Dan Hicks perform live before.

MrShine is a big fan and we've got a bunch of his stuff.

I like his song "I Don't Want Love"...the one where he talks about his love of food. :D I can relate.

:hi:

[BrotherBuzz]

21. Yes

of late, I've been enjoying "Milk Shakin' Mama"

[Shine]

22. "Yes"....as in, it was at the Catalyst in Santa Cruz where that happened?

or, Yes you like Dan Hicks, too.
:shrug:

[BrotherBuzz]

23. Dan Hicks fell asleep (passed out) on stage at the Catalyst in Santa Cruz

and YES I love Dan Hicks' work. Loved it for decades. Seen him in many venues over the years, plus many nights at Dan Hicks' Open Mike at the Old Mill Tavern in Mill Valley. Many weeks he was a no show because the drinking was catching up with him. He's doing much better these days and I really enjoyed catching Dan Hicks and the Acoustical Warriors along with Dan hick and His The Hot Licks.

[musette_sf]

18. oh my, i think that was at the Rio Theatre in SC

(the story you added on edit)... though Dan wasn't exactly "banned from the Catalyst forever"... i think he was granted dispensation if he was with the Christmas Jug Band.

[BrotherBuzz]

20. correct on both points

For what it's worth, that Christmas Jug Band has become an interesting institution of sorts. I was hoping they'd ask Charlie Deal, another Mill Valley legend, to sit in one year, but sadly I just discovered he died last October. Cripes, I remember him carrying a toilet seat back in the fifties and working with him at the Mill Valley Record in the sixties!



http://www.dealguitars.com/memory.html

[musette_sf]

9. for some real fun

give a listen to Dan's duet with Waits on "I'll Tell You Why That Is". including backing vocals from Hank Ballard's Midnighters.

(also on the "Beatin' The Heat" CD, along with "The Piano...")

[Shine]

13. That whole album is awesome. I'm listening to it now, in fact

I like "I Don't Want Love". :thumbsup:

[musette_sf]

14. "if love makes you give up pizza night

and garlic mashed potatoes that are out of sight
if love makes you give up all those things
i don't want love"

[Shine]

15. I don't lose MY appetite when I'm happy

:D

[musette_sf]

16. me neither

only when i gots da blooz (or da stress) B-)

[Shine]

17. sadly, I don't have that problem

heheh. :D

I've always been a Good Eater and I'm generally always happy.

[underpants]

5. I have never, until just now, ever actually seen any footage of "Fernwood tonight"

I completely missed it growing up. It wasn't on any channels in our area.

[fishwax]

6. it was new to me, too

I don't even remember ever hearing of it until I found this clip this morning, though my wife says we once saw a clip on some kind of bloopers show :shrug:

[abq e streeter]

10. What a brilliant record--I think my second favorite Waits; just behind Blue Valentine

Saw Waits a loooong time ago---The Quiet Knight in Chicago, '75 or '76... right around Nighthawks at the Diner. Anyone here familiar with Chuck E. Weiss? "Deal the cards, roll the dice, if it ain't that old Chuck E. Weiss..." Also very fortunate to have seen Chuck E . Weiss and the Goddam Liars at The Central ( later the Viper Room) on Sunset Blvd. Always good to see other Waits fans on DU (and of course I would hope anyone hip enough to be a Tom Waits fan would be far too hip to be a repub).------Oh, yeah, and I remember seeing him on Fernwood tonight----funny, funny show.

[Shine]

11. Great song. I like Dan Hicks' version as well.

:thumbsup:

:hi:

[Cabcere]

19. That song is so great

:rofl: I thought about including it on my mix CD that I made for an alcohol studies class (no, seriously!), but I couldn't find a good version. :(