Yet Another Sex Thread

[Yavin4]

If you have Gay sex, does that make you Gay?


I ask after reading the NY Times magazine article about the underground African-American Gay community called "Down-Lo":

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/magazine/


Are these men gay or do they just want to have a lot of sex with other men without the emotional ties.

What do you think?

[private_ryan]

1. sex with a guy? hell yeah. At least bi-sexual

n/t

[Alenne]

2. Some are gay and some are bisexual

[Andy_Stephenson]

3. I'm Buysexual...

Buy me something...I get sexual.

Edit: On second thought...I am a Gay Buysexual.

[kixot]

4. Umm, I'd say so.

Or at least "bi"

[shance]

5. That is a good question.....

I would answer no. Sex is sex. Now if there is a repeated preference towards the same sex, then yes.

But if there one or two experiences in ones life, I would say that doesnt define ones sexual preference.

[Andy_Stephenson]

6. I agree with this totally.

I h ave had straight friends want to experiment...Which I politely declined...because friendship is far more important than sex.

[tuck]

7. traditionally...

men who are the penetrators are not considered gay. the notion that both participants in gay male sex are gay is a relatively recent development (circa 1960s)

short answer, no. one has to ID as gay to be gay. if you have gay sex and do not ID as gay, you are not gay.

[Terran]

8. Gay notions

(Traditionally,) men who are the penetrators are not considered gay. the notion that both participants in gay male sex are gay is a relatively recent development (circa 1960s).

I'm not entirely disagreeing with you on this, but I wonder where you got this idea. There were cohesive gay subcultures around well before the 1960's (I'm thinking New York in the 1920's), and I doubt that the sort of male dominance fiction you're referring to (where one party pretends not to be gay) can exist in a culture where all the participants openly acknowledge that they are potential sex partners for each other. I've certainly seen what you're talking about illustrated in fiction. I just read White's "The Beautiful Room is Empty" recently, in which the main character is lead to believe exactly what you're saying. But I very much doubt one can claim that was a universal paradigm among all gay men before the 1960's.

Dirk

[CBGLuthier]

9. No

One of the problems we have in this society is we define everything in terms of sexual acts. While having sex with people of the same gender as you is part of being "gay" it is not the whole thing.

What about love? And who you are attracted to?

I have had a few experiences with people of my own gender. In one case it was even with someone I cared about a lot. But all of my other experiences have been with women and when I fantasize it is mostly about women.

Now, some of these men may be gay and some of it may just be a variation on prison sex.