Americans hating Americans

[caribmon]

AMERICANS ACCIDENTALLY START HATING AMERICANS (satire).

by Betsy R. Vasquez


August 6, 2003 - Americans accidentally started hating Americans today. This new anti-American feeling in America has led Americans to boycott hamburgers, hotdogs, apple pie, and baseball games.

“Apple pie?” sneered Al Redland of Oak Park, Illinois. “Uh-uh. From now on, it’s ‘freedom pie.’”

Susan Reynolds, of Centerville, Ohio, expressed a similar sentiment. “You won’t catch me driving one of those cars made by those Americans through the streets of my home here in the heartland of America – no, sir.”

The sentiment is wide-spread, and apparently shared by the majority of the nation.

“Those burger-eating exploitation monkeys,” quipped talk-show host Rush Limbaugh on his daily radio show.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld mocked the nation’s history, saying at a press conference that the Americans were part of an evil “Axis of Cholesterol.” He then punched a reporter for no apparent reason.

How this all began no one is really sure.

Jeanie Thomas of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma ventured her guess. “Maybe Americans did something bad to us?”

Stewart Lipewsky, of Tallahassee Florida suggested, “I bet those no good little pig-skin throwers said something about us Americans. It figures.”

One American, Mary Liden, of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, admitted her confusion. “It is so hard to keep up with who we're supposed to hate these days. The Chinese, ‘cause they’re communists, the French, because they fry potatoes, the Koreans, because they don’t open their eyes all the way, Muslims, the Germans, Europe in general, Russia, are we supposed to hate India? It’s so hard to keep up with it all.”

She went on to wonder if some mental clerical error had led Americans to start hating Americans. “I mean, it’s a lot to keep straight in one’s head. Maybe we threw an extra nation or two in there accidentally. Do you know if those horrible Brittany Spears-creating Americans really are supposed to be on our hate list? Who do I call to check this out with?”

http://www.moderateindependent.com/v1i8americans.htm

[DieboldMustDie]

1. Republicans obviously hate Americans...

Why else would they seek to impoverish us all just to further enrich themselves?

[beanball]

2. Hate in the homeland

I don't believe the pethuglicans hate Americans,they just love money and power more than they do America and the poor chumps that inhabit this land.