Sad, pathetic, disgusting, gross, yet still hysterically funny.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

My BIL will never ever be known as the brightest bulb in the pack, and he managed to prove it yet once again last night- he had a boil on his ass. According to an eyeass witness it was typical- perhaps the size of a quarter. No biggie (so to speak).

He couldn't keep his hands off it. He fondled it. He stroked it. He wanted to squeeze it. "No!" said my sister. "But, but, but my butt hurts!" said the moran. "Big deal!" said my sister. "But, but, but my butt hurts!" said the idiot. "You'll be sorry!" said my sister. "I'm gonna do it." said the putz. "I wash my hands of your ass boil." said my sister.

He did it.

What once was small and manageable suddenly became VERY large (almost a foot across), VERY inflamed, and it began traveling downward into his leg. His temperature shot up to over 103, and he's now in the hospital with his ass in a sling (so to speak).

Is it so terribly wrong of me to sit here laughing MY ass off over HIS ass?

If it is, too bad. I'm gonna enjoy the moment even if it kills him. And it really, really could.

Asswipe.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Parche]

1. Damnit....

"I told you to prick his boil, not boil his prick...............:woohoo: :rofl:

:hi:

[crimsonblue]

2. how could i resist a title like that?

I hate it when those things happen. It happened to a friend of mine during a bball game (he was playing) and white pus streamed down his leg....

[Skittles]

3. he needs an ass-kicking, PN6, boil or no boil

let me know when he gets home please

[Shakespeare]

4. I hope his doctors are checking to make sure it doesn't involve necrotizing fasciitis.

AKA the flesh-eating bacteria. If it's spread that quickly, and with that kind of fever, it's terrifying. My ex almost died from that stuff. :scared:

[Benfea]

5. You had me laughing right up until the last sentence.

I'm gonna enjoy the moment even if it kills him. And it really, really could.

That's a pretty reprehensible sentiment.

[Shakespeare]

7. If it's NF, it would've spread whether he'd messed with the boil or not.

I'm shocked by the last sentence, too. This is serious shit.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

9. Tongue in cheek.

I don't honestly wish that kind of misery on anyone- I've HAD boils and I know how much they hurt and what kind of problems they cause.

[Shakespeare]

10. Relieved to hear that.

Keep us updated on how he does, because it does sound really serious. :-(

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

11. It's more serious than you know.

He also has a major intestinal infection going right now, and all this together really COULD kill him. I'm laughing to hide the fear of the possibilities.

[Shakespeare]

12. I'll keep him (and you) in my thoughts.

Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery...

[Benfea]

17. A Lord Byron quote seems appropriate here:

"And if I laugh at any mortal thing, 'Tis that I may not weep."

Understood.

[littlebit]

6. It's kind of sad

and I would like to feel for him and not laugh. But when the ass is involved it is really funny.

[applegrove]

8. I hope he is okay.

[HamstersFromHell]

13. Isn't a boil on your ass...

a symptom of early stage Limbaughitis?

[nomorenomore08]

14. No, no, it's when you BECOME a boil on somebody's ass.

:evilgrin:

[graywarrior]

15. Oh man, that is hilarious!

[LeftyFingerPop]

16. Those damn things hurt so bad, and when they are located in a place that...

gets pressure (like your ass when you sit down), they can become truly horrible and hard to heal.

I really wish him well...he's going through some very very bad stuff. An infection that is a foot long and running down your leg can turn to blood poisoning very quickly.

[libodem]

18. blood poisoning my ass

could be septic shock...poor fuck

[Lil Missy]

19. If I had a boil on my ass, I'd want to pinch it too.

They hurt!

I won't even tell you where I had a boil several years ago. I just about flew off the table and had to be picked off the ceiling when it was lanced in the Dr's office.

Jeezus Fucking Christ on a Crutch, that was so painful!

[oedura]

20. "Moran"?

...

[mockmonkey]

21. Welcome to DU

You'll find "moron" often spelled "moran" on DU because of this guy.

It's a long running joke.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

22. UPDATE

The molehill-turned-mountain had to be surgically drained today. When my sister went to the hospital this afternoon to see him they had his room temperature set into the fifties, but he was still sweating like a pig and he was still sick as a barker. He's no doubt suffering from septic shock at the very least- if he can't fight it off it could still easily turn to gangrene and he could literally lose his ass, if not his leg. I'm sure the doctors will be able to keep it from coming to that (I'm FAIRLY sure). Even if he pulls through okay he'll be mooning the ceiling from bed for the next month.

The moral of this story? "He who pop wrong zit end up with brand new softball-sized hole in ass."

...Or something like that.... :shrug:

[auntAgonist]

23. That's very sad.

I hope he is able to fight the infection. I read upthread that he also has an intestinal infection. I'm glad I read all of your responses. I understand your laughter in place of fear now.

:hug:

I'll keep a good thought.

aA
kesha

[GreenPartyVoter]

24. I am very sorry for him. I hope he heals up swiftly and completely!