Why did the chicken cross the road?

[NightWatcher]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
> >
> > BARACK OBAMA:
> > The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
> > The chicken wanted CHANGE!
> >
> > JOHN MC CAIN:
> > My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
> > need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
> > other side of the road.
> >
> > HILLARY CLINTON:
> > When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
> > cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure--
> > right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
> > deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn ' t about me.......
> >
> > DR. PHIL:
> > The problem we have here is that this chicken won ' t realize that he must
> > first deal with the problem on ' THIS ' side of the road before it goes
> > after the problem on the ' OTHER SIDE ' of the road. What we need to
> > do is help him realize how stupid he ' s acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
> > problems before adding ' NEW ' problems.
> >
> > OPRAH:
> > Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
> > wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
> > from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I 'm going to
> > give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
> > not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
> >
> > GEORGE W. BUSH:
> > We don ' t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
> > want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken
> > is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
> >
> > COLIN POWELL:
> > Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
> > of the chicken crossing the road...
> >
> > ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
> > We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
> > been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
> >
> >
> > NANCY GRACE:
> > That chicken crossed the road because he 's GUILTY! You can see it
> > in his eyes and the way he walks.
> >
> > PAT BUCHANAN:
> > To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
> >
> > MARTHA STEWART:
> > No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had
> > a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the
> > price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
> > information.
> >
> > DR SEUSS:
> > Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
> > the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I ' ve not been told.
> >
> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
> > To die in the rain. Alone.
> >
> > JERRY FALWELL:
> > Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?
> > That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
> > chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
> > we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
> > liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other
> > side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
> > simple as that.
> >
> > GRANDPA:
> > In my day we didn ' t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
> > told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
> >
> > BARBARA WALTERS:
> > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
> > chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
> > experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
> > life long dream of crossing the road.
> >
> > ARISTOTLE:
> > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> >
> > JOHN LENNON:
> > Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
> > peace.
> >
> > BILL GATES:
> > I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,
> > but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
> > book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
> > platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........
> > reboot.
> >
> > ALBERT EINSTEIN:
> > Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
> > the chicken?
> >
> > BILL CLINTON:
> > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
> > of chicken?
> >
> > AL GORE:
> > I invented the chicken!
> >
> > COLONEL SANDERS:
> > Did I miss one?
> >
> > DICK CHENEY:
> > Where ' s my gun?
> >
> > AL SHARPTON:
> > Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens