So long and thanks for all the fish

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

It has almost been a week. 6 days. But it feels like an eternity has passed.

It was just 7 days ago I saw you. Not well by any means, but we still were able to speak...barely. With what little energy you had you called for me. I came and sat by you side. Held your hand. Kissed your head. I knew it wasn't long.

6 days ago. I knew time was short. I didn't know it was that short. I got the call at 10 am. I was on the first train I could get on, my sunglasses hiding my bloodshot eyes. I didn't even know how I would get home. I took a taxi from the train station. I talked about the weather with the driver. It was pleasant. He didn't seem to notice the tears streaming down my face either.

I came into your bedroom and saw you there. Lifeless, on the floor. Wrapped in the blanket that I had come accustomed to seeing covering you. Eyes closed, mouth agape. You had become so thin, so weak. But you looked peaceful; out of the awful pain you had been in for the past month.

I had seen you in hospital beds, post-op, going into procedures. You were always so strong, even near the end, so hopeful that you could beat it. In two months, it sadly beat you.

This has been one surreal trip, eh? I still think I will walk into your bedroom and see you on that bed, saying what fucking jerks we all are. But that will never happen again.

It was 4 days ago we watched as they lowered you down. You used to say that you'd spend eternity in darkness, that you wanted as much light as you could get now. That just kept playing in my mind as the Rabbi and the Cantor began pouring the earth over you. The sound of the earth smashing against that box. It echoed exponentially in my head. It made me want to go up there and shovel faster. I stood in that dirt when my turn came and didn't stop filling that hole. I stood there in my dress shoes and suite shoveling until there was no dirt left.

Has it really only been 6 days? A million lifetimes seems to have gone by already.

You were a father and a friend. You taught me so much and gave me so much. I will love you forever. So long, and thanks for all the fish...

RSJ, 1933-2008

[PeaceNikki]

1. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Peace to you and your family. :hug:

[seemunkee]

2. I'm sorry

You have my deepest sympathy.
:hug:

[fizzgig]

3. ....

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

4. ....

My condolences, my friend :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. Oh, my dear MAHNY...

I am so sorry ...

And how eloquently you've written about your dad...

Perhaps this little saying will help you now, while you're so overcome with grief:

That which is remembered, lives...

Blessings on you and your dad...

I wish I were there, so I could hug you, and shelter you while you cry...

:hug:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

6. I'm so sorry for your loss.

:hug: :hug:

[ThomCat]

7. I'm very sorry.

:hug:

I hope you have family and friends around you right now.

[lost-in-nj]

8. I am so sorry

for your loss......


:hug:


lost

[Call Me Wesley]

9. Safe passage to your father.

Might he be free from suffering now. Peace and comfort to you and yours, Mahny. :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. sorry for your loss

:hug: :cry:

[hippywife]

11. So very sorry, sweetie,

for your loss. I hope the memories you shared, the good ones when he was healthy, will become a comfort to you as the future takes you farther away from this week filled with sorrow and pain.

[av8rdave]

12. So sorry for your loss

may your dad RIP.

[mike_c]

13. it beats us all in the end, my friend....

My condolences to you and your family-- your father sounds like a man who inspired much love and respect. That never dies.

[davsand]

14. Deepest sympathy in your loss.

Ain't none of this that is easy. I lost my Dad in March and I am still processing it. Some days are easier than others, but I still cry an awful lot.

We mourn because we care. That capacity for caring is what makes us human, I think.

Love to you.


:hug:


Laura

[Tikki]

15. So sorry for your loss, MAHNY.....

A father a friend a teacher a provider....love.

Tikki

[SallyMander]

16. I am so sorry to hear this

My condolences to you and your family. :hug:

:cry:

[swimboy]

17. My thoughts are with you, my friend.

I'm so sorry for the loss you're experiencing.

[SPKrazy]

18. Sorry MAHNY

:hug:

losing a parent is one of the suckier things about life.

losing anyone you love and care about is the suckiest thing about life.

:hug:

[auntAgonist]

19. MadAsHellNewYorker, I'm so sorry for your loss. May the good

memories of your Father fill your heart at this time.

:hug:

aA
kesha.

[I Have A Dream]

20. There are no appropriate words to help with the pain that you're feeling.

Please know, though, that my heart is with yours right now. May you find strength in the support of the energy that is being sent to you by those in this thread and those who love you. :hug:

:cry:

[lightningandsnow]

21. So sorry about your father.

That was a beautiful post. :hug:

[flvegan]

22. Beautiful tribute, MAHNY. I'm sorry.

:hug:

[Lavender Brown]

23. I'm so sorry...

:hug:

[Flaxbee]

24. I'm so sorry, MadAsHellNewYorker

I just can't imagine the grief. :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

25. My condolences on your loss.

May he rest in peace.

[Left Is Write]

26. ....

:(

I'm so sorry.

[rockymountaindem]

27. My condolences

Are you sitting shiva?

[liberaltrucker]

28. RIP, RSJ

Your pain is over. MadAsHell, yours continues.

Our deep condolences.

:hug:

:cry:

Shalom.

[Zuiderelle]

29. So very sorry.

May he rest in peaceful peace. :hug:

[khashka]

30. I am so sorry MAHNY

It's so hard to lose a beloved parent. Just remember your love for your father and his love for you and hang on to that.

Your post made me cry.

Hugs,
Khash.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

31. ***Thank you all who took the the time

to send me and my family good wishes. I want to reply to all of you, but I can't hold it together after reading your kind thoughts. After writing this, i kinda lost it too. thank you all again for being an open ear and giving a kind word,

MAHNY

:hug:

and whoever gave me that wonderful star, thank you especially.

[RetroLounge]

32. No words...

:hug:

RL

[orleans]

33. surreal is right. that's how everything felt after my dad died.

and the grief would pass through me in waves--so strong i'd have to just sit down and sit back, and let them crash up on me and over me. it was an extremely difficult time, very emotionally and physically exhausting.

i'm really sorry for your loss and the pain you're going through.

take good care. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[tjwmason]

34. My most sincere condolences

to you and to all of your family.

There is a point where words become meaningless, but you can only reflect that the value he gave to you is now a part of you and that it lives on in you.

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

35. Oh MAHNY......

I am so very sorry for your loss.

:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

36. MAHNY .

:hug:

Safe passage to your dad.

[BarenakedLady]

37. My thoughts are with you.

:hug: