An interesting (or maybe not) thought...

[ScreamingMeemie]

I have been thinking (a dangerous sport) about the internet and relationships on the internet and this came to mind. *Fasten Seatbelt Here* Here is the thought:

Would we be friends with the people we are friends with online if we were offline/In real life. Also, would we be friends with our real life friends if we were, or had met them, online? For the most part, that is.

I know, deep thought by MrsGrumpy...

Here's the thing, my BFFE posts here (she's the one who tuned me in to DU, I'm the one who talked too much). I adore her, would do anything for her, love her children (our daughters are BFFE, and would have to be anyway), enjoy our many conversations, would trust her with everything dear to me etc. But, sometimes, we wildy disagree on the political/social etc. (Ref. see GD and GD:P) Sometimes, and I am sure this is true for this person as well, I look at her posts and say, WTF man?? WFT? At which point I will probably call her. If we did not have all of the things that make up our personal relationship (ex. facial expressions, hand signals, body language, knowledge of family etc.), would we be friends here? Conversely, thinking of my friends here on DU, if I got to know them (some of which I have) would I love all them as much if they were in my "real" life...daily?? Or would I be friends with someone on my ignore list? Assuming I have an ignore list? I mean, yes...I know people hook up and date and get married and become life long friends from the internet...but would that be the norm? If we were to meet every single person we feel affinity with? I know I met someone from another board (Slingo, don't laugh, I was new to the internet goshdarnit) in real life and it was almost scary.

So...

What do you think?

Okay, I'll shut up now.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. I have oftened wondered the very same thing --

just never wrote it down. Communication is SO0o0o0o much more than the written word.

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. And I used to try to end my posts with a hi smiley to try and soften

a differing opinion. I quickly cut it out after being called smug and condescending eleventy billion times.

[PeaceNikki]

2. I agree 100%.

I am bothered by the notion that we have to see eye-to-eye on every topic in order to get along. Obviously that's not the case IRL. Sometimes people here on DU have a real knack for misreading things (what's funny vs. what's offensive) and carry grudges around endlessly.

You make very interesting points. I differ on key points with some of the people closest in my real life and it doesn't hinder our opinions of one another. The interenet is different in that regard.

Darn it, now you went and made me think, too! x(

:P

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. I am as guilty as the next person when it comes to misreading...

...and my apologies. :hi: No, I truly mean that.

[PeaceNikki]

13. We all are.

:) :hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. I am going to be more careful from now on.

I hope. Until the next time I misread something perhaps.

[XemaSab]

3. I know what you're saying

Of the many, many people I have met from the internets, only one has become a "real life" friend.

It's easy to see what you want to see in the written word. :shrug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. I have to say that the people (from DU) that I have talked to IRL

have all been really terrific. Would that hold over time? These are the things that keep me busy...

[khashka]

4. I've thought that too

On the internet you can pretend. And some in RL are real assholes. But I've also made great friends and lovers. It's a lot like real life.

Khash.

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. True...

And I have often made friends IRL that I end up regretting...

[redqueen]

5. It depends...

I know (internet know, not real life know) these people on another board, and lots have met in real life and it's mostly gone very very well. A couple of true best friends, several romantic relationships, two marriages, and a huge group of casual, hanging out type friends.

That's mostly just true for the board members from overseas though. The ones here hardly meet let alone hang out. A few have... and there are some close friendships... but I think those mostly formed in real life before they joined.

It's weird.

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. That is interesting.

I have often thought that the way of life here in the US (my opinion strictly) has become so compartmentalized, with each person living within their own walls.

[terrya]

6. I know what you're talking about.

I don't always agree with the friends I've made here on DU. I've disagreed with them on who should have been the Democratic Presidential nominee, for instance. :-) But they are ALL good, very special people. One reason I'm glad I joined DU...I wouldn't have met them otherwise.

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Me too.

I am often at odds with someone, over something... But, after sabbatical and thinking about it, I'd rather be here than not. :)

[LisaM]

15. I have made a lot of friends online and I've met a few DUers....

Most of the people I've actually met in person from DU I've liked. I haven't specifically DISLIKED any of them, though obviously some of them are more in tune with the way I am (persona, assertiveness, etc.) I was friends (real friends) with someone here for a while, and there could have been a good chance that we would have remained friends, but she moved away to a different part of town and I don't see her now. I do have one person I've met indirectly through here who I'd consider a friend. There are some people I can't ever see being friends with, too, though a lot of that's more recent, and a few others I'm dying to meet.

I plan on meeting someone on THIS thread due to a shared outside interest pretty soon and I'm looking forward to it immenseley! GRRRR!

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. You better turn those plans into ink in your planner baby...

I wouldn't miss it for the world. :)

This is part of the reasoning that keeps me from having an ignore list (besides temporary timeouts I do to keep myself from blowing up). I have become friends with some that I have had words with here, and also lost friends I thought I had a lot in common with.

[LisaM]

19. Tattooed in!

I also plan on making use of any youngsters available to ride the Ferris Wheel and the carousel. Don't ask me why the idea of taking a short ride around in a large baseball is appealing, but.......

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. Ohhh, it's fun! WBG and BabyG will totally go with you.

They're mom maybe even too...but she may be otherwise engaged taking pictures of the foolish adult in the baseball car so she can post it all over DU. Maybe...

[LisaM]

22. Why not?

BTW, my in-person record watching our favorite team this year is 2-0, SO FAR.

I'll quit hijacking the thread now.....

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. Oh, hijack away...and I wish there was a way I could hook the

television up to my computer...so you could watch, and jinx, them all. :)

[LisaM]

25. We have the MLB package, and we have XM radio

So I did listen to them yesterday!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. My dear MrsGrumpy...

I've thought along these lines too...

But I have to say that my online friends have all become really good IRL friends too...

I mean, the ones I've met.

I think this is because I am what I show here...

And the people I'm close to are what they've shown here as well.

Honesty is key.

I feel so fortunate for all of them being in my life.

They have helped me become what I am today.

I cannot imagine being without their presence in my life.

I'm not exactly answering your question, but this is where it took me...

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

21. I am astounded, at times, by the generosity and caring of a lot of

people I have met. On the other hand, I also am astounded (and astound myself) at how seemingly innocuous posts can enrage...which gest me to thinking of what would happen if the tables were turned and those we knew online were real life acquaintances and the opposite.

[Duer 157099]

18. I believe they are 2 very different forms of relationship

and as such, appeal to us differently. While there is sometimes an overlap where both forms work with a relationship, in my experience, the majority of either online or offline relationships would not and do not translate well to the alternate medium.

I firmly believe this to be true. That's why the internet is such a revolutionary aspect in today's culture, because we are having relationships and communicating with people whom we otherwise never would.

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. "would not and do not translate well to the alternate medium"

I think that, at times, as well. I only have one real life translated to DU friendship to go by and haven't really spent a lot of real life time with DUers. And, of course, there is WannaB...but I have to like her. Thanks for your input.

[Guava Jelly]

26. I think you are spot on

I have met a few true life friends here on DU.
I talked with one earlier and text msg'd another a bit today.
I also have people on my ignore list that IRL would probably turn into dear friends.
The internet and text w/out facial expressions can be very cold.
I think people forget that they are talking to other people sometimes
This is the main reason why I love Picture threads so much.

[ScreamingMeemie]

28. I like picture threads as well.

Probably for the same reason, although, sometimes I am astounded how someone doesn't "look" like their name.

[PVnRT]

27. What is "friend"?

[ScreamingMeemie]

29. It is what it is...

to you.

[TZ]

30. I've been lucky to meet some of the people here.

And I've gotten along with them fabulously in real life even if we haven't always seen eye to eye here. Or people would think maybe we wouldn't get along with..one of my best friends here is a very religous guy, and makes few bones about it here. I on the other hand am a vocal atheist...but I adore my friend and found him to be just as great IRL, someone I'm proud to call friend.
There are people here I think that I genuinely wouldn't like--thats the exception though. I think even some people who I've gone around with on different things I would like IRL.
And there is at least one person here..well...I hope someday to meet because I know, he's just as sweet and caring and smart and funny IRL as here (lots of off DU interactions)
But you make excellent points Mrs. Grumpy.
PS- even though we don't always see eye to eye Mrs. Grumpy, I respect you enormously and suspect if I met you IRL, we would get along well..:hug:

PS- How could I not like a kitty mommy?

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. That's very nice of you to say, but I am honestly not a so nice

person to be around lately. Ask WannaB. :hug:

My IRL friend who posts here is an atheist. I like to needle her but I can't anymore because I am basically a nothing right now.

It would be cool if Anne Frank was right about people being basically good.