My advice: Never go to a book-signing at Borders.

[grace0418]

David Sedaris was signing and doing a reading today at a Borders near my office. I'm a big fan and have met him once already, but two coworkers of mine had never met him and really wanted to go. So I figured it would be fun, why not?

We read that entry wristbands would be handed out from 2-3 and then the reading/signing would take place from 7:30 to 9:00. We got to Borders at 12:30 and were 5th, 6th, and 7th in line to get wristbands. After we waited for an hour and a half outside, they came out and gave us color coded wristbands, but informed us that the wristbands would only get us into the signing, not the reading. Well WTF? Wouldn't you think the people who took the time to come out and wait for wristbands should be also guaranteed a spot at the reading as well?

They wouldn't give us much more information so we left to grab some lunch and a movie across the street. After the movie we shopped a bit, then decided to head back to the bookstore to see what was going on with the reading. This was about 5:45, almost two hours before the reading.

We walked upstairs to find utter chaos.

David was already there and signing books (he decided to come early). People were everywhere trying to figure out where to go. All the seats for the reading were full and they were forcing the overflow into one small area. Finally around 6:30 they tried to move a few displays so a few more people could see, but every time we moved anywhere where would could potentially get a glimpse of David we were told to move by the staff for various reasons. This was especially annoying because 20 minutes later we'd see someone else standing in the same spot without a peep from the staff. We finally gave up and went to stand under the colored balloons that matched our wristbands, figuring that's where we'd have to be for the signing anyway. We were around 60-70ft. from where David was sitting, but couldn't see due to all the bookshelves and displays.

The reading finally started at 7:30. We heard applause, then nothing. Seriously, we couldn't hear a single word David said. We truly weren't that far away, but between the people and the shelves and the music on the PA system it was completely impossible. Everyone started looking around for staff members, asking to turn up the mics. The staff shrugged and said that was as good as it was going to get.

We did indeed get in the first group for the official signing when it finally happened, but by then many of us were so tired and annoyed by then it lost a great deal of its charm. David was his usual adorable self, but had already been signing books for hours as well as reading, so I doubt he was as into it as he was earlier in the evening. Plus the staff decided to wait until AFTER he started signing to get his dinner order from him, so I spent a good 5 minutes standing there looking dumb while they peppered him with questions about what *kind* of fruit salad and chicken he'd like, etc. Could they not have gotten this straightened out after they sat him down but before he started signing?

The folks at Borders MUST know how popular David Sedaris is. They knew enough to have groups of color-coded wristbands to keep people from mobbing the table. Why couldn't they have also figured out a way to give the people in the first group a bit of seating priority for the reading? Was it honestly in their best interest to have people waiting in the store for 7, 8, even 9 hours to get wristbands AND THEN a seat for the reading? They already forced each person to buy the book to even get a wristband and it's not like we could shop for other things while waiting in line. And why couldn't they clear the area a little better earlier in the day rather than waiting until the crowd arrived, or figure out a way to project his voice further than, oh, say 15-20 feet?

All in all, I have to say that if the opportunity arises to go for another book-signing at Borders, I'm going to say no thanks. I generally don't buy from them anyway, but now I'll make a point to not give them my business.