Anyone live a distance from their family?

[skooooo]

If you live thousands of miles from your family, and have spent time and money traveling to see them over the years, would you expect a phone call from them once in a while? For the life of me, I can't understand why it is so difficult to be a little aware of people's feelings - especially when they're in your immediate family.

I'm sure that if I never called some of my relatives, I would never hear from them. In fact, some of them I haven't called in quite a while. Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Anyone able to identify with these feelings?

[SPKrazy]

1. yuh, I can relate a bit

my sister won't call me anymore apparently she only does text now and only when that suits her :shrug: and they live a ways away and I've been to see them many many more times (they being her, my dad, and when my mother was alive her, my dad calls me and I call him, I call my sister and I never get anything but her voicemail)

[skooooo]

3. It makes me feel like saying - fuck it.

Why even bother?

[malta blue]

2. yes.

My mom now lives far away, and for awhile, I moved away from her when I was in my 20's.

I must admit though, the days when we do NOT communicate are few and far between.

Now my dad and my brothers - eh - my dad is more inclined to call me than either one of them is, but most of the time I call dad before he calls me.

The brother thing kind of bothers me - I have always wanted a closer relationship with them and so their disinterest in a relationship is frustrating.

[skooooo]

5. men..

...seem to be notorious for this kind of thing. Just can't pick up the phone for some reason, go figure.

[SPKrazy]

7. heh, I'm a man

and I pick up the phone :D

[skooooo]

9. good for you...

Too bad more of your kind don't.

[SPKrazy]

12. I'm the only one of MY kind

can't speak for men

I'm me

[AlCzervik]

4. i do, i talk to my sister at least 4 times a week but i only hear from my father if someone

has died or is sick. I live 3,000 miles for a reason, that's not the only reason but it was a contributing factor in me being open to moving away.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

6. not far enough

for me

or them

[Critters2]

8. In the last years of my mom's life, she would IM nearly every day.

I'd be sitting at my desk and the IM screen would pop up with a "Hi, it's me!". I miss that.
My dad was never much of a caller, but does about once a week now. One sibling calls when in need of funds, the other to bitch about something.

So, I miss my mom.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

10. I lived on both coasts and Japan while my family stayed in Minnesota

I was expected to visit them twice a year.

Did they ever visit me? I can recall four visits from my parents, two from one brother, and one from the other brother--over a period of nineteen years.

I kept saying, "The planes fly both ways."

[skooooo]

11. honestly..

..It makes me feel like just telling them to forget about me already.

[CODemocrat]

13. Anyone live a distance from their family?

Yeah!!!!!!!!

I do.

They are ALL DEAD.

Is that funny?

Not really, but just true.

the lounge......

[harmonicon]

14. they probably just assume that you'll do that calling, since you already do

I live thousands of miles away from my family, and haven't seen my parents for a year, and my sister in even longer. My brother came to visit a few months ago though, which was nice. I'll see them all in August or September, which should be good fun.

The thing is, I only call my parents when I have something specific that I want to talk about with them, where-as they call all of the time because I'm their baby and they have to constantly worry about how I'm doing. The result of this is that I almost never call them, because it seems like we get all of the talking that we need to do done when they call me.

My sister and I rarely see each other, and only call each other if we have some very big news (she called me the night that her husband proposed to her, for instance) or on Birthdays. It's not that we don't like or care about each other, but we have very different lives and don't have a lot in common. I still think that we both assume we'd each be there for the other if one of us needed help - money, a place to live, comfort, etc.

My brother and I are very close and talk a few times a month, usually, and never go more than a few months without talking.

[skooooo]

15. i'm not calling anymore

haven't talked to my brother in months.

[harmonicon]

17. to some people months isn't that long of a time

Some times I get busy and don't talk to my brother for months. We're still really close. It's especially difficult where you're many time zones apart, and/or one or both people have odd work schedules.

[Flaxbee]

16. 4 of my 5 sisters NEVER initiate calls, emails, nothing.

Sure, they're busy with their families, and I can understand not wanting to get on a long phone call at the end of a hard week, but how damn hard is it to send an email that just says "hi, thinking of you"?

Now, three of those four were sisters who didn't live with me (they lived with their mom, my dad's first wife), but one of them just never writes unless she hears something bad has happened. It doesn't really bother me, but sometimes it does.

[kentauros]

18. I know the feeling

even with most of my family only a 3-4 hour drive away. Even "friends" that are only ten miles away won't initiate the call. Like you say about not calling them first... And then my parents say "Why don't you ever call?" Story of my life with family and friends

Hell, my girlfriend in New Zealand calls and/or contacts me a thousand times more often than my family does (we use skype, just so you don't think we have $1000 phone bills!) :P

[skooooo]

23. well..

...I'm not as perturbed now as I was when I first posted this. No sense in sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself I guess (referring to me, not you). Still it makes you wonder why, doesn't it??

[alarimer]

19. I do and they NEVER call me, not even on my birthday.

Which was a big one this year, although I did hear from some of them later in the week.

[My Good Babushka]

20. I know what that's like

I don't even live that far from my family, about a two hours drive. I talk to my mother once a week, on Wednesdays, but my sister? My mother says she doesn't hear from her that much either, even though they live only a few minutes drive apart.

[dropkickpa]

21. Dropkids paternal g-ma

Liked to lay on the guilt trips about never seeing her, was always nagging about me taking her to Atlanta to visit. Thing is, they would be up here in Punxatawney at least 2x/year to visit family. Punxy is about an hour away from my house. Somehow, I never felt guilty for not going, especially after I found out she was funneling information to DK's dad about us, after I had expressly forbidden her to (because he's a psycho nutcase). I cut her off at that point and now she's dead, so the situation is pretty much resolved.

Harsh? Maybe, but Dropkid's well being is paramount.

[Guava Jelly]

22. I live over a hundred miles away from my nearest sibling.

And I wouldn't have it any other way..
I wish I lived farther away from them.
I have 5 sisters and a brazillian nieces ,many with babies.
I am Immune here in KCMO from all of the infighting and family drama. :woohoo: