DUers - go you have an inappropriate or dark sense of humor? Has it gotten you in trouble?

[nadine_mn]

*************************** Please for the love of mary, if you have a sensitive or delicate sense of humor move on**********


My mom has a really dark sense of humor - when I was 8 she came to my room holding my dog's collar and crying - said my dog ran away, when I started to cry...she started laughing and yelled April Fools!! and in came Muffin safe and sound. I laugh now and have inherited her shitty sense of humor


I have had to leave meetings at work to go laugh in the restroom at something tragic that still struck me as funny.

Many people think I am cruel and really I am not (at least I don't think so). I have worked for over 8 years as a victim advocate, I volunteer as a humane agent, our 4 pets are all rescued - I really do have a big heart and can be sympathetic. But I have such inappropriate thoughts that make me laugh.


Last Sunday at brunch my mom, my husband and I were out to eat and discussing my cousin who is 17. A year ago he hit someone when he struck him with his car - purely an accident - the guy ran out into the middle of the street and unfortunately the guy died. Well my mom and I have secretly nicknamed him "killer" - oh I know its awful. We were talking about how old he was getting and he would be graduating soon, just general discussion about how fast people grow up - so I said It seems like just yesterday he was a little kid and now he is driving, has a job, gonna graduate soon and my mom mutters .."he's killed a man" and I laughed so hard milk came out my nose.

She was telling me he had to go to court again - another accident. I was shocked that my uncle (my mom's brother) let him drive again since my uncle has always been a hard-ass. Then I said... man my uncle spoils his kids - they go on trips, have every type of electronic gadget, etc... to which my mom says ... ya he let's them get away with murder. Again I laughed til I cried and nearby diners thought I was nuts.




So my question is - I already know I am going to hell in a handbasket but I can't be the only one. Anyone else have this affliction? And if so care to share your tales?

[Chovexani]

1. Yes, and god yes.

Laughter, snark and mockery are how I cope with tragedy or awkward moments. I always say that if I didn't laugh at horrible things, I'd cry.

[Maddy McCall]

2. Yes, and Yes.

And I think I like you more than I did before.

:D

[KitchenWitch]

3. OH yeah, I am like that too.

One time, my mom's back went out, and I was over there, she could not get off the floor. So we called the paramedics to bring her to the hospital. Somehow the subject of showering came up when the paramedics were there and I quipped, "I have been meaning to talk to you about that, Mom!"

Both of the paramedics looked at me like I was Evil Incarnate.

My mom laughed!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. oh yeah --

it is like a involuntary reflex/defense mechanism reaction for me.

[Connonym]

5. Yes, constantly

I have a subversive brain. I'm pretty much used to having people look at me aghast.

[DarkTirade]

6. Who, me? No... never.

O8)

[Rhiannon12866]

7. Oh, my friend, I laugh at inappropriate times, too, like at my father's wake.

Yes, I was stressed, and my heart was broken at losing my Dad. He was the parent I was closest to. But this Republican poobah (Yes, my Dad was a Republican. *sigh*) came into the funeral home, was holding court in the lobby, and I explained to my cousin that this man had been wearing a neck brace for years, and who knew if his head was attached? And my cousin, a kindred spirit, and I, were were laughing until we almost fell down, at my beloved Dad's wake, which lasted for two days, maybe part of the reason.

And there was the other time, on my first job. I drove a train at an amusement park. I was a teenager and most of the folks who worked there were kids or retirees. My partner on the train was 68 and a nice guy, but a little OCD.

One day, when he was insistent on sweeping up, since he was far more diligent about that than me, I drove the last train of the day around the park, while Howard swept. But he was so worried about sweeping up that he forgot to throw the rail switch, when he put our second train away.

So I came racing around the bend, noticed that the switch was wrong, but only had a few feet before I hit the back of the second train, and pushed it clear off the rails. Not something that our amusement park visitors imagined when they paid their admission, LOL.

I was shocked and probably in shock. My girlfriend pointed out that there was a whole pile of dirt in front of the second train, pushed completely off the rails, and we both fell down laughing, and that's when my boss showed up.

But he'd given me a lecture, earlier that summer, when somebody ran in front of me at the crossing and I hit him, and I cried. He told me that I had to learn to expect these things. I'm in hysterics as I write this... You're really not alone. :rofl:

Rhiannon:hi:

[XemaSab]

8. Oh yes... oh yes

Here's a minor example:

I was out on a site visit in the boss's truck, and there was a giant herd of cows right on the road in front of me. I sat there waiting for the cows to move, and eventually they parted and standing in the middle of the road was this GIANT bull. I was sitting in the driver's seat of an F150, and this guy was eye-to-eye with me. He walked up to the truck and started banging his horns sideways against the front of the truck. I sat there half amused and half scared. Eventually he got bored and wandered off, and I went back to the office.

I said to my boss "Hey Dave, I had an altercation with this bull, and I think he might have dented the truck."

Dave said "If there's a dent in the truck, it was probably Jose." Basically he had run over this dude in the middle of the night. The guy lived, but Dave was still totally spazzed about it.

I mentioned both the bull and the dude Dave had run over to a few colleagues, and at some point the bull became known as "Jose."

A couple months later we were all sitting around shooting the shit, and someone mentioned Jose. Dave just gave me the biggest look of horror and betrayal, and dammit, I just about busted up laughing.

(Okay, not the greatest example, but my humor is definitely gallows humor. There are times where if I didn't laugh, I'd barf.)

[XemaSab]

11. Sometimes my humor is a little cruel

Same project, same truck.

I was driving the truck with about 10 people in the back, and I came across a mud puddle that was probably an equal mixture of mud and cow shit. I didn't want to get stuck in the mud, so I gunned it.

The SCREAMS of OUTRAGE still bring a smile to my face. :)

[Rhiannon12866]

23. Me, too, LOL, and I totally appreciate your story about the cows.

I've spent time in Ireland and that's what we call an Irish traffic jam, LOL. Cows won't cross the road before they want to...:rofl:

Here's my story...:D
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7925697&mesg_id=7925778

[WCGreen]

9. Oh yea, and oh yea....

[Fox Mulder]

10. Yes and yes.

[DesertFlower]

12. i have it and so do both of my sisters.

our uncle died a few months ago. he was 92 (had a great sense of humor). since we live quite a distance from each other we talked about our uncle in an e-mails. one sister said it would be nice if the 3 of us were together for this sad event -- and then she added that we'd be making jokes about it.

[DesertFlower]

15. one time we were walking to a friends. my

husband tripped over a tree trunk and went head over heels. once i realized he was okay, i started laughing my ass off. he started laughing too.

[bridgit]

13. when prompted sure & why not?

[DS1]

14. The darkness is in a constant state of refinement

:)

[Maddy McCall]

16. I would give a million dollars to see...

your photo essay that you posted elsewhere.

I have never laughed so hard. Did you save that as a file on your computer, by chance? If so, would you email it to me?

:D

[DS1]

18. PM and tell me which one

there's been a few

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. Not so much in my own humor

But in that which I find hilarious — oh, yeah. :D



Consider:



Good evening. Tonight on "Is There," we examine the question, "Is there a
life after death?" And here to discuss it are three dead people...





:rofl:

[dembotoz]

19. could not cope with my shitty existence without it.

wanted to add something more, but the subject line pretty much sums it all up

[Midlodemocrat]

20. Oh, yes. I have a very dark sense of humor.

My eulogy for my dad had people literally crying they were laughing so hard. Same with the one I delivered for my FIL.

[RaVeN_MeaD]

21. Am I Evil.......Yes I Am........

[Pale Blue Dot]

22. Within the last hour, apparantly.

I'm very, very evil.

[Midlodemocrat]

24. Why do you hate Michigan?

:rofl:

[KamaAina]

25. Not just yes, but HELL YES!

Two years in New Orleans, even pre-Flood, will hone your gallows humor to a fine edge indeed (Mr. Bill is a local product; Harry Shearer is a part-timer)!

[MountainLaurel]

29. My personal favorite

Has been the take on the "New Orleans: Proud to Call It Home" bumper stickers that read "New Orleans: Proud to Swim Home."

[KamaAina]

30. For your viewing pleasure, the Lakeside Shopping Center holiday display for 2005

an annual tradition at the Metairie shopping mecca, with a wicked post-K twist:



The original version actually had miniature spray-painted search and rescue marks!!

So, what's it like having "swum home"? Any openings for a recovery expert with zero experience (beasides Blakely, that is)? :-)

[MountainLaurel]

31. How apropos

We just moved here, so I personally missed the swimming experience and I'm just learning the ins and outs of the recovery efforts, so now I'll have to look up Blakely and see who the hell he is.

:hi:

[KamaAina]

32. The city's "recovery czar"

who grandly promised to "put cranes in the sky". Do you see any cranes in the sky from where you are?

He seems to spend most of his time at his full-time gig as a university professor in Australia. Hell, I'm already in the Pacific Rim! :P

[Initech]

26. Of course!

I have been listening to the likes of dark satirists like George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Frank Zappa, Larry David, Matt Groening, and so on my whole life. Naturally my sense of humor comes with it!

[davsand]

27. I offended an entire room full of women at a baby shower a couple of months ago.

Ok--the "game" was that you were supposed to write down your best advice for the new mom and read it out loud when she opened your gift. You had three lines to write on.

On the first line I wrote "Duct tape works great." On the second and third lines I wrote "Our kids are a gift to us all, and you need to celebrate your child EVERY day. Be sure to TELL your kid every day what you celebrate about him."


My turn came and I read that first line out loud. After the gasp, you could hear a PIN drop. Every head in the room turned to glare at me while the new mom about fell off her chair laughing. She teaches high school and SHE got the joke.

I saw her at a softball game last night with her new baby. She is STILL laughing.



Laura

[Fire Walk With Me]

28. I'm trying to reign in my sardonry.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3628790

[Runcible Spoon]

33. yeah, last year my sister and I convinced my mom I had been arrested for DWI on April Fool's

:rofl: poor mom, another few years and I don't think her heart can take the shock :rofl:

[nadine_mn]

34. My mom and I used to live across the alley from

my granparents... my grandpa would sometimes have to work the graveyard shift, leaving my grandma home alone (this was when she was in her late 50's early 60's). One night we called to see how she was doing and she said she was watching a scary movie on HBO... my grandma is the type to peek through the holes in her afghan at scary parts. After we hung up, my mom and I looked at each other and raced over across the alley (I had to be in my early tweens, my mom eek my age now...early 30's) and we started rattling and shaking all her windows by the living room...then raced back home... just as we got in the door we heard the phone ringing..

It was my grandma..wanting to know if we had come over... of course we said no...why? She said.. well I heard something outside but I am too scared to look.

My mom and I were rolling laughing after we hung up. Of course we went over and told her it was us, and we stayed with her til my grandpa came home (bonus.. I got to stay up past my bed time).

Ya now she is the nursing home... we can't do that stuff anymore

[tismyself]

35. still laughing 30 years later

When I was a teenager, I watched a man in a pet store picking at this huge macaw (sp?) - would not quit even after the manager asked him to. Well, the guy had a trach flap that flapped when he breathed... gawd... I can barely type anymore... hee hee... and anyway, the bird finally had it and grabbed that flap and shook the guy around by it. The manager had a hell of a time trying to get the bird to let loose of the guy, I just dropped to the floor in hysterics, oh lord, people were glaring at me. I know this sounds horrible, but there it is.

I always admired the fellow who wrote or still writes the cooking column in Gray's Sporting Journal, now he had a wonderful sense of humor.

[Evoman]

36. I would be fucking skewered here if I told you how innappropriate I am.

I'd probably be booted off DU.

Believe me...this is the tamest joke I have ever made.

A coworker of mine (another graduate student) is 55 years old...which is getting pretty up there in terms of grad students. Anyways, I took her out for coffee and donuts. She wanted the plain sugar donut and a medium coffe, and I was gettin a maple dip donut and a large coffee. I made sure she wanted a plain old boring donut and she said "yes, just the plain one"

So when we get to the cashier, I ordered a large coffe and a maple donut, and I said, "And the lady will have a retirement donut with a small coffee enema for afterwards."

Like I said...tame. I'm glad she thought it was funny though.

Oh yeah...and then there was the time I called my brother with an emergency. I told him the hospital called and wanted him to phone them back as soon as possible. Then I gave him the contact info...hehe...the phone number to a funeral home and the name Myra Manes.
He calls the number, hears its fromt the funeral home and starts panicking. He asks for myra manes...and they tell him he has been pranked. Get it....My remains. Ha.

He calls me back and the first thing he says is "Asshole".

[tismyself]

41. heh

Myra Manes... lord! That's funny. Shame on you. }(

[Zavulon]

37. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

My girlfriend and I for some reason find it amusing to verbally abuse people in commercials in the most inappropriate ways possible. It's obviously nothing we'd ever do in real life and nothing we actually even think, and we only do it in the privacy of our own home, but for whatever reason we laugh like high teenagers when we do this. We'll be watching TV, and something like one of these two examples will happen:

* A perfectly likable old lady will be on TV talking about some medicine, some scooter or whatever, and one of will say "Stuff a sock in it, bitch" - you know, the exact opposite anything we'd ever do, which is why we find it funny.

* Some cute little kid will be on TV talking about Band-Aids, peanut butter or whatever, and one of us will say "Oh, shut the fuck up, you little asshole." This cracks me up when she's the one who does this, because her appearance and voice are that of someone who would never do such a thing.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Our yelling at the TV gets particularly vicious during commercials for ED, feminine hygiene products, STD medicines, new car sales and weight loss products. Our language gets a lot more crude than I've described during ads like these.

Well, in 2004 my parents came down for a visit, they were at our place, and a commercial that fit the second example came on TV. Right on cue, Julie responded exactly the way I described in the second example, and my mother almost passed out. Then Mom got mad at my father, because he was cracking up over this.

Four years later and we still laugh about it - but only when Mom's not around.

[billyoc]

38. Yes, I use it to weed out the riff-raff.

[hobbit709]

39. I've been called twisted

My reply is usually "And?"

[datasuspect]

40. let me put it this way--stupid people RARELY like me

and that's how i know i'm doing it right.

[alarimer]

42. Yes but I come by it naturally.

My late grandmother one went as tampon for a holloween party. (that's not dark, just kind of inappropriate and shocking but funny as hell).

My cousin, when relating a story about my grandmother after the funeral, used the words "fuck you" (it was something that my grandmother actually said to her in the story) in front of priests and nuns and all my grandmother's friends, not all of which were as salty as she was.

My entire family is weirdly inappropriate.