Things you do not want to hear behind you in a restaurant

[davsand]

This morning I took Material Girl our for breakfast and some "retail therapy." We are in an International House of Pancakes and behind me I hear a man and a woman sit down and start talking. It starts with the man ordering FOR the woman:

"She'll be eating two eggs-scrambled, white toast, and hash browns."


Then it gets more entertaining:

"Aw hell, she's gonna stay with that loser and next thing you know she's gonna be knocked up again."


But it got seriously strange when I overhear:

"Well how much sex DO you need anyway?!"


That started me thinking about what you just do NOT want to overhear in a restaurant. I do not want to hear anybody saying, "Is this a roach in my hash browns?" nor do I want to hear, "Is that a band aid in your eggs?"


How about you?



Laura

[NewEnglandGirl]

1. Does that smell

funny to you? :puke:

[flvegan]

2. "If it's gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

[davsand]

9. Oh my! Would that be a party of six or more?

:rofl:

[MrScorpio]

3. "His name is Robert Paulson..."

"His name is Robert Paulson. His name is Robert Paulson."

[Lil Missy]

4. .....

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[TroglodyteScholar]

5. I don't ever want to hear...

"Welcome to the International House of Pancakes..."

:evilgrin:

[davsand]

7. Hey--at least it wasn't an Olive Garden!

It coulda been a whole lot worse--nobody was breastfeeding!



I dunno, our regular haunts were all just stacked to the rafters with people wanting to eat. We went by four different places before landing on the IHOP--so you know where it falls on my preferences.

I noticed that even the Cracker Barrel (not one of the top four but located next door) was jam packed. I seriously dislike Cracker Barrel and all of that crap they want to sell you while they make you wait.




Laura

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

6. "Did you see that rat run across the dining room?"

LOL Laura!

Can I get an order of hash browns, extra crispy on the outside? :9

[davsand]

10. We had a mouse run across our dining room in one restaurant I worked in!

We'd seen it a couple of times when we were cleaning up and had a couple of traps set discretely. One night this woman in the dining room lets out this blood curdling shriek and knocks her chair over when she jumps up. The entire dining room comes to a complete standstill.

The manager goes out there and the woman is absolutely freaking out because she saw that mouse. He gives her some story about exterminators and weather "driving the mice indoors" and a bunch of other crap. He comps her meal and all is happy again.

One of the cooks comes to the window and says, "Gawd, it's a good thing she didn't see the one we put thru the slicer the other day..."


:puke:


Laura

[Guava Jelly]

8. Did somebody shit in the Chili?

:D

[davsand]

12. That is wrong on SO many levels!

You just don't mess with the Chili, I'm sorry.


:mad:


Now the split pea, on the other hand...



Laura

[peacefreak]

11. Did the chef get the results of the TB test yet?

:evilgrin:

[arcadian]

13. Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!

Would be pretty bad.

[sarge43]

21. "Hello. My name is Michael Corleone.

You shot my father. Prepare to die."

[Chan790]

14. The "clean food" dialogue from Fight Club.

Narrator: Clean food, please.
Waiter: In that case, sir, may I advise against the lady eating clam chowder?
Narrator: No clam chowder, thank you.

(This might be funnier if you know that this preceded it by about an hour.)

Narrator: He was *the* guerilla terrorist in the food service industry.

Tyler Durden: Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch.
Narrator: Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well...
Tyler Durden: Go ahead. Tell 'em.
Narrator: ...you get the idea.

[Deja Q]

15. Or the things we think about when hearing those quotes...

Like the couple at walmart openly groping each other in the crudest of ways... it shows lack of self-respect, lack of respect for one's mate, and lack of respect for everyone in the surrounding area - REGARDLESS of what they think of "public displays of groping" (displays of affection are not quite the same as his reaching under her crotch to grasp at her coccyx...)

[davsand]

16. I SAW that thread!

I had to walk away from it because there is just nothing positive I can contribute to that whole scenario! I know I'm not the "taste police" or anything, but I'd be hard pressed not to smack them both back into yesterday--especially if my kid was with me.

That was a huge thing for me in the restaurant yesterday because not only was it just icky to overhear, but the guy looked like he was maybe this woman's dad or something--and he's talking to her about how much SEX does she need! It was just nasty, and I did NOT want to have to have a discussion about it with my kid if it got any more strange--ya know?


I gotta admit, I finally went to a Walmart a few months ago with my Mom (my husband and I boycott Walmart) and I was horrified. I damn near got run over by this EXTREMELY huge woman wearing spandex on a Walmart store scooter who was driving in circles in the produce section WHILE talking on a cell phone. I saw her later standing in the checkout line giving the checker crap about the price on one of her items. It truly was something I wished I had not ever seen.


Laura

[Deja Q]

18. Wow. and I thought nothing, but NOTHING, could top free range groping...

In the handicap scooter, going in circles, blabbing on the cell phone instead of looking... just dumb. Insanely dumb!

That or she thought that staring at a clump of lettuce would turn her into a pillar of salt...?


(sorry to sound insensitive, there could be thyroid or other issues, but cell phoning while driving a vehicle of any sort is just... patently idiotic!)

[deucemagnet]

17. "I love you, Pumpkin." followed by, "I love you, Honey Bunny."

[jobycom]

19. Yes, Mr. Limbaugh, that is a very cute child. nt

[sarge43]

20. "Oh dear, little Johnny looks like he's going throw up."

"This isn't the restaurant they warned about?"

"Yeah that's right. Booger works here."

"Smell this, woodja."

[MilesColtrane]

22. From the booth behind me...father to his little rugrat, "Do you need to throw up honey?".

Followed by...well let's just say none of us finished that meal.