My Grandpa died last nite

[nadine_mn]

I know he is in heaven and I saw him Sunday and he was in so much pain. He had prostate cancer that moved to his lungs and to his bones. Once it hit his bones it was a matter of weeks before he passed.

I mentioned him before earlier this year

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2570980

He is the most amazing loving man I ever knew... and the hole in my heart is so big I feel like dying.










These are my grandparents... they are like my parents to me. They raised me (more so than my mom..she was always more like a sister) and they are responsible for everything good about me. They have taught me so much and loved me so much. They are the most wonderful people in the world.

My grandma is still in the nursing home... not sure if she comprehends that the man she loved and raised 6 kids with for 58yrs is now gone. Hell I can't comprehend it.


I have some pretty messed up coping methods from a childhood of abuse (obviously not from my grandparents) self-mutilaition, binge drinking and overeating. So its been pretty hard not to self-medicate... so far the alcohol is untouched, the razors are locked up but a french silk pie died a horrible death. I know time will heal... but right now... sigh

:cry:

[Heidi]

1. nadine, I'm so sorry.

Your grandfather loved you and he would understand your need to grieve. :hug: :hug:

[nadine_mn]

7. thank you for the hug... I know my grandpa would want me

not to be too sad, he lived a rich and wonderful life.

[lligrd]

2. What A Beautiful Tribute To Your Grandfather

You wrote earlier. He certainly would have made a great President. So sorry for your loss. Time will lessen the pain but not your fond memories. Make your grandfather proud by the coping methods you chose.

[nadine_mn]

9. thank you... the best way to honor his memory is to make sure

I continue to try to make him proud

[bluesbassman]

3. So sorry nadine..

The loss you feel will in time be softened by the wonderful memories you have for the man who had such a great influence on your life. Peace to you in this time of sorrow.:hug:

[nadine_mn]

10. thank you

:hug:

[bridgit]

4. I'm sorry, Honey...

Your GranPa is still a great man, wonderful photos. Safe Passage, Granpa. Peace to GranMa :hug:

[nadine_mn]

11. thank you.. he is a great man

and I know he is in a better place... I hope my grandma finds peace soon too... they hate being apart

[UrbScotty]

5. Thank you for sharing, nadine.

Peace to you and to your family.

:hug:

[nadine_mn]

12. thank you

:hug:

[Skittles]

6. aw, Nadine

my sympathies - your grandfather would want you to be well so take it slowly and be good to yourself, give yourself time to grieve

[nadine_mn]

13. thank you and I know he would.. its just whenever

I needed a hug he was there... I know he is in my heart, but I miss the bear crushing hugs

[Skittles]

17. remember them

close your eyes and remember them whenever you need those bear crushers - they're still and forever in your heart

[briv1016]

8. My grandmother died a few months ago from lung cancer which was discovered after she had a stroke.

There in a better place now. O8)

[nadine_mn]

15. I am sorry for your loss... its so hard

to lose someone you love so much, but harder to see them in pain. I know he is in a better place... so hard when such a big spirit outlives the body... but he has filled us all with so much love.

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

14. My condolences to you, nadine.

I'm very glad you had this man in your life.

:hug:

[nadine_mn]

16. thank you... yes I was lucky

and so lucky to find in my husband a man with so many of those characteristics of my grandfather. My grandma and I still tease each other over who has the hadnsomest and most wonderful husband.. a contest I am fine coming in second. I am so blessed to have so much love from these two amazing people.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

18. Aww nadine

:hug: :loveya:

Condolences and vibes of comfort and love to you and your family.

[nadine_mn]

25. thanks

:hug:

[applegrove]

19. You have enough control in your life now to go through the grieving process.

Go to a grief site on the internet and download the 5 stages of grief - better yet sign up and have people to talk to who are going through the same things. Most importantly cry. Cry hard when you need to. You'll feel better for getting those feelings of loss out.

Vibes to you and your family.

[nadine_mn]

26. thank you.. the hardest part about crying is that I have 3 dogs

and when I cry they get all upset then I start laughing because we are all making so much noise... my poor husband gets such a headache. I am sure my grandpa can hear us in heaven and is laughing at us...

[applegrove]

37. Laughter is a great part of grieving too.

[Swede]

20. I'm so sorry for your loss,Nadine.

May your grampa rest in peace.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtmAVGPEPSI

[nadine_mn]

28. thank you and thank you for the link

you can tell I am Lounger when my first reaction to any youtube link is... uh oh Rick Roll
:hug:

[Swede]

41. Well I hope no one would do that on such a serious thread.

Hang in there.

[yellowdogintexas]

21. My heartfelt sympathy to you

Don't know how old you are, but my version of your grandfather died just shy of my 18th birthday and his 75th (2 days apart). It was 1966 and I miss him every single day. I was away in college so my first weekend home was for his funeral.

I have survived the Bush years partially because every day I can imagine his total outrage at the Bush administration in particular and the Republican party in general.

It is hard losing your best friend and favorite person.
:cry: :cry: :hug:

edited to add: if french silk pie is the worst you do, then you are all right! If I were nearby I would bring you a cake

[nadine_mn]

29. mmm cake.. thank you for the thought (wiping drool)

I will be 36 and my grandpa was 84, so I am so lucky to have had so many wonderful years with him, his love and wisdom.

I know I am lucky that I am so close to my grandparents, it makes the loss that much more painful, but the love and joy from all those years of unconditional grandparent love will be with me forever

[Parche]

22. Hugs

It is never easy

:hi: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[nadine_mn]

31. thank you

:hug: :hug:

[Blue-Jay]

23. So sorry to hear that.

I lost my gramma less than a year ago, and I'll never stop missing her.

[nadine_mn]

30. I am sorry for your loss too... grandparents are the most

wonderful blessing in the world and we are so lucky for the love they give us.

:hug:

[Call Me Wesley]

24. Safe passage to your grandfather.

Might he be free from suffering. Peace and comfort to you and yours. :hug:

[nadine_mn]

32. thank you... the solace I have is knowing that he is in a better place and not in pain

Seeing him in the nursing home all weakened and in pain... broke my heart. He is a man of action and life so I know in heaven he is having a blast.

[ScreamingMeemie]

27. I am so sorry.

It isn't fair that he had to suffer. You'll be in my thoughts.

[nadine_mn]

33. Thank you MrsGrumpy

:hug:

He was still trying to make us smile up until the end, despite how much pain he must have been in. I hate cancer and I hate that it robbed my grandpa of dignity and peace.

[Faygo Kid]

34. Your memory means his life was well spent.

The fact that you grieve for him is evidence of his inestimable value.

All the sympathy in the world. You were lucky to have him in your life, and you have the memories to cherish.

I bet that is all he would ever want. All any of us ever want.

[SammyWinstonJack]

35. Take care of yourself.

:hug:

[Withywindle]

36. I am so so sorry.

And touched by your description of him. This is a wonderful world, isn't it, with people like that in it. I'm so sorry he's left. I hope you can feel the sense of peace and joy that he's in and that it comforts you.

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

38. I'm so sorry *hugs*

[MissMillie]

39. my sympathies for you and your family

:hug:

please get what help you need if you think you're going to harm yourself in any way.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

40. I'm so sorry for your loss...

I wish I could give you some real hugs...but these will have to do :hug::hug::hug: Please know that they truly come from my heart.

I hope you have someone you can lean on during this time...a friend, a therapist, a family member who understands where you've been and how much your grandparents mean to you.

You can always talk about it here, and find support. :hug::hug::hug: