How do I make friends?

[Writer]

I don't want to influence people; I just want to make friends. Does anyone have any pointers?

Thanks!

:P

[LostInAnomie]

1. Taking regular showers is a good first step.

[Writer]

2. Don't smell.

Okay, got it.

[LostInAnomie]

5. Also, keep you genitals under clothing until you are asked to produce them.

This should be a very rare occasion, so don't go reading into what people are saying looking for the opportunity.

[Writer]

7. I think I have different picnic equipment than you think I have.

;)

Everything is neatly tucked away. Always.

[LostInAnomie]

10. No matter the genitals...

... it's always sound advice to not let them out in the open until the appropriate time.

[Writer]

12. Okay, okay, so say there's this guy...

and he walks up to me on the street and says, "Okay. I'll be your friend if you show me your genitals." Then WHAT am I supposed to do THEN?

[LostInAnomie]

14. First, you have to ask yourself if this is the type of friend you want.

Second, are you in an area where you can reveal your junk without being arrested.
Third, whip it out.

[Writer]

15. But I don't HAVE junk!

:cry:

But okay. I'll write this down: Don't reveal genitals even if a random guy offers to be your friend after you do so. Okay, got it. Thanks!

[Haole Girl]

3. You would be asking the wrong person if you asked me

:-(

[Writer]

4. Do you have a hard time making friends, too?

[Haole Girl]

6. Not really, surprisingly...

I have a lot of friends at work now... more than I can maintain (if that makes sense). But they happen when I least expect it. When I try - like on DU - it usually turns out poorly (as it has on DU).

Think I should just go to bed now.

[Writer]

8. Ohhhh. If it's online life that troubles you, then I think that's not much trouble at all.

I have trouble relating to others in the real world.

[Haole Girl]

9. There is something you have to understand about people:

They are unpredictable. (oh, and they should be more like cats)!

Good night, Writer. :hug:

[Writer]

11. Ohhhh I have learned that lesson twenty-fold.

And if the entire world could be like my cat Gandalf, then the world would spin cleanly on its axis...

and we'd take naps more often.

G'night, m'dear. :hug:

[DarkTirade]

13. What building materials do you have?

The kind of friends you make depend greatly upon what you make them out of.

[Writer]

16. We have a table saw, a jointer AND a planer...

but what am I supposed to do with said building materials?

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. I've found paying them sometimes works

Got a quarter?

[Writer]

18. Wow... a quarter?

Uhhh sure. Here you go.

So "always have quarters handy." Okay, got it. Thanks. :)

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. I've got one o' these someplace

Seriously. I do. :)

[Writer]

20. Oh! I could use one of those. May I borrow it?

(Wow. Did I just make a friend???)

[Oeditpus Rex]

22. Yeah

But y'gotta put your own quarters in it. :P

[Writer]

23. Okay, friend-o, thanks for the machine!

I'll return it... sometime, k?

[Oeditpus Rex]

25. Keep it as long as you want

I don't figure on getting another paper route anytime soon.

[Chan790]

21. I'm a big fan of the Frankenstein method.

Warning: Results may vary.

[Writer]

24. Okay... so...

Create friends by using a hand-crafted flesh-being whose mind has absorbed my own mental capabilities by an electro-chemical transference using lightning from a thunderstorm.

Okay. Got it, thanks!