Talking to my girls about breast cancer

[Robyn66]

My husband sat our daughters down today to explain what was going on in so far that I had breast cancer and was going to be going to a hospital and get help and be made better.

We reassured them that I was not going to die but the girls ages 9 and 13 are still terrified.

Hell, I am still terrified. All I know of is one small tumor but there is still the question of what is going on in the left breast. The ultrasound found nothing so they said I would have to have an MRI biopsy whatever that is. I don't know how they are going to get in there with a needle when they are doing an MRI.

Hubby is going with me to meet with the surgeon on TUesday to find out what happened with the biopsy, he already said it was cancer before the biopsy results came back because of what the tumor looked like on the MRI, and then I am going to start my transition moving over to Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston. I feel much more secure that they are who I will be being treated by. This doc is a nice guy but this is my life we are playing with and I don't want to take any chances.

So I just spent about an hour with the girls. They are crying on my lap terrified that I am going to die. I had to sit there and promise them I wouldn't when in the back of my mind I am just as scared as they are.

I just want this over with, I want to be healthy again and have my life back and not have to think about cancer all the time. So now I am sitting here crying my eyes out because I know how they feel because its how I felt when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Only I told my girls that is a much more serious cancer and harder to fight than this is and I am going to fight.

I am going to have to get up tomorrow and hold it together and be a functioning member of society. This is so hard!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. I don't know what to say...

All I can do is :hug: for you and your family...

[Robyn66]

14. Thank you this means so much

its so nice to have met so many kind people here. You are really helping me through!

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Children make the tough things even tougher.

In my situation, I cannot change the pain for my son, I can only reassure him that I am here. I think you are doing a wonderful job with your girls. You have been on my mind all day and I wish only the best for you.

[Robyn66]

13. Thank you

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers more than you can imagine. I don't know what I would do without them!!!
Bless you!!!!
Robyn
:hug:

[Fran Kubelik]

3. Oh wow.

:hug:

I'm sorry you are going through this. You will be in my thoughts.

[Swede]

4. I don't know what to say.

You've got a heavy burden,but thank goodness your family is with you.

[Robyn66]

15. I know, I am very grateful

my poor husband barely gets any sleep I just hang on to him and cry most of the night. God bless him for being so good to me!

[yellowdogintexas]

5. we are all here with you !

I think the MRI biopsy is an MRI assisted biopsy. They use the MRI to accurately locate the spot they want to place the needle in. I think.

[Robyn66]

17. Thank you I appreciate it!!

Its funny, after the ultra sound where they found nothing there was no follow up to schedule the MRI biopsy. Maybe since they know I am wanting to go to DAna Farber they are not going to order any more tests. I can't wait for Tuesday's meeting to be over with!! Then I can hopefully get to Dana Farber and get some treatment! And get this taken care of.

[Lars39]

6. My daughter was a little too old for Gilda's Club,

but they have wonderful programs for children whose parents have cancer.
Cancer affects the entire family, even if you think everybody's handling it ok. There might be psychologists on staff where you are going to be treated, who will see the family members on an individual basis.
I'm 4 yrs out from diagnosis. Telling the kids was one of the hardest things I've ever done. :hug:

[Robyn66]

18. I will find out when I get to Dana Farber

I am sure they must have something for kids through there. My little one is attatched to me at the hip. ANd my heart breaks for her.

But I have decided that I am sticking with my original plan to live to be 100 so this is only a bump in the road!

[w8liftinglady]

7. Remember,we are here when you need us.

Healing is in the mind,as well as the body.Talk positively to yourslf.let the healing begin now.

[Robyn66]

20. Thank you

I appreciate that moer than you know. I am doing everything I Can to stay positive and focused on getting through this and getting on with my life. I have to say I beleive it was the hand of God that forced me to keep that Mamogram appointment this time. I have blown off so many in the past it wasnt funny! Maybe next year the lump would have been much bigger! I am glad we are dealing with this now while it is small!

[SeattleGirl]

8. (((Robyn)))

I can't even imagine how difficult that must have been for you. :hug:

And I'm glad you are going to a facility you feel good about for your treatment.

[Robyn66]

22. Thank you!

(((SeattleGirl))) Thank you for taking the time to check in. Every bit of support helps me so much!

[grace0418]

9. Robyn66, I had to read your whole post to make sure you weren't my sister.

She is going through the same thing right now, only her two daughters are 8 and 6. She sent an email to the family that she was going to tell them this past weekend, but as of Tuesday hadn't found a way to break it to them.

My heart breaks for you both. I am hoping for the very best, a complete and swift recovery, as well as comfort to you through the whole process. I wish I could take away your fear, but all I can do is send my very best wishes.

xoxo

:hug:

[Cabcere]

21. Hey grace0418

I just saw this post, and am sending big :hug:s to your sister and her family. :pals: I wish her the best as well, and hope she makes a full recovery. :hi: Peace.

[grace0418]

35. Thanks Cabcere.

When things like this happen, all we can do is hope for the best and support one another, right? I appreciate your well wishes and good vibes.

:hug:

[Robyn66]

23. WOW!

There seems to be a lot of this going around. Well the doc said 1 in 9 women will have it. My best hope for your sister. I hope she recovers very soon!!!
GOd bless
Robyn :hug:

[grace0418]

36. Thank you Robyn.

You're not alone in your struggle, that's for sure. Please keep us posted.

:hug:

[qanda]

10. I'm crying with you and your girls

My heart goes out to you. I just tried to imagine telling my children, who are about the same age, what you had to tell your kids and it just breaks my heart. I pray that you will have enough strength to face each new day. (((Robyn66)))

[Robyn66]

24. I will because I have to

I am fortunate because I feel fine right now. I need to get this cancer out of me before it does some real damage! That is the worst part, knowing this garbage is still inside me and I want it out!!! Thank you for your support. I am sure I will be back for more in the upcoming weeks and months.
God bless you!!!
Robyn :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Erva]

11. Possible Resources

Hi Robyn,

I used this book as a resource when I had to help my children (4&6 at the time) through this:
When a Parent Has Cancer, A Guide to Caring for Your Children

By Wendy Schlessel Harpham, M.D.
This book is written by a physician who went through breast cancer twice. She tells her story and gives helpful advice. There are seven chapters and 160 pages.

This link has a list of other books and reaources:

DCScripts


I hope it helps.

[Robyn66]

25. Thank you so much!!

I will copy down the list!!:hug:
R

[Ava]

12. i'm sending all the good vibes i can manage your way

a friend's mother just recovered from breast cancer, and it was very hard on my friend. i'm so sorry you have to go through this, and with a family it must be very hard. i'm going to send good healing vibes and prayers your way. :hug:

[Robyn66]

28. Thank you!!!

Every bit helps!!!!
Love
Robyn :hug:

[Tektonik]

16. I can't add anything

I'm 22, and if my mom had to tell me that I'd be just as terrified as your girls are.

Keep fighting!

[Robyn66]

29. Thank you sweetie I will

I have a lot to live for and I intend to be here for a long time!!!!!! :hug:

[Cabcere]

19. Hey Robyn

Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your family. :hug: I remember being really scared and upset when my mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year, and I was 21 - I can't even imagine how your girls must be feeling right about now. :hug: I know this has to be a terribly frightening and difficult time for you and your family, but it sounds like you will be in good hands at the cancer institute. :pals: Peace and good wishes to you and your family! :grouphug:

[Robyn66]

30. Thank you

I am actually excited to get to Dana Farber. They took care of my Mother when she was ill. They have a team approach to taking care of cancer and they also care for the whole patient. You get psychological dietary excersise just every kind of care you can imagine. Plus its all the most advanced treatment. There is no better place to be than Dana Farber. I will be a much happier and calmer person once I am there!
Robyn

[bluethruandthru]

26. You can do it!

Keep a positive attitude. Try to keep fun and humor in your life. You'll get through this and we're all here pulling for you! :hug:

[Robyn66]

31. I am hoping to

I really love to laugh and make fun of things but right now I am too scared to make too many jokes but I know I will get there eventually!!! Thank you for the support!
Love
Robyn :hug:

[seemunkee]

27. I know where your at

Tellng my daughter about my cancer was harder than telling anyone else. The words were barely out of my mouth when she broke down.
Best of luck and all the vibes I can spare. I hope they caught it in time and you can be treated.

[Robyn66]

32. Thank you

And right back at ya, I refuse to even imagine that this is anything more than a minor inconvenience that will be taken care of shortly, I have decided that is what it is and that IS what it will be. :hug:

I will be praying for you and yours too!!

[DU GrovelBot]

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[mwdem]

34. As long as you are comfortable with your very capable doc...

half the battle is won. It really is about keeping a positive outlook, but also know what you are in for, and be prepared to do it. If you go through chemo, or radiation, know that your immune system is compromised, and take no chances. Be so careful, during treatment, to stay away from anything that could compromise your system. It's not forever, but it's so important to be careful! I wish you all the luck in the world, and keep us posted on what's happening with you. Check with the cancer support forum, too. Breastcancer.org is a wealth of information.