Attack of the Yard Nazis!

[Reader Rabbit]

So I'm cleaning my house today, and some lady from the city comes to my door and serves me with a Nuisance Notice. Apparently, one of my anal retentive neighbors filed a complaint that my lawn was too high. What's up with that?!?!

The really annoying thing is, I was planning to mow and weed it as soon as the weather calmed down a bit. (We had several 100+ days in a row, and then as soon as the temperature went down, it started raining.) Of course, this kind of thing makes me want to let everything in my yard go to hell, just to spite the shallow, petty bastards, but then the city will fine me.

Even worse, is that I have no idea who the prick was. I have a few suspicions, but nothing more than that. It sure as hell makes me want to say, "Fuck you!" to any one of my neighbors who says hello.

Fuck.

[skygazer]

1. I've never understood why people can't knock on the door and simply talk

There was a letter to some advice columnist the other day - the writer shared a small porch of a duplex with his neighbor and when he put a storm door up, it was blocked by the neighbor's outdoor bench. So he moved it over.

The neighbor moved it back and this went back and forth, back and forth until he finally wrote to the advice columnist who advised him to...

TALK to your fucking neighbor, idiot! (not you, the person who wrote to the advice columnist)

Yeah, that's irritating. Sorry.

[Sequoia]

2. Just wait until fall and those maple leaves drop on the ground!

Your noisy neighhbor needs to get a life. How can high grass be a nuisance? Wait, I fell a joke coming on...grass...high....oh boy!

I know people who don't care to rake up their leaves because it protects the ground. Of course these same people have the annoying neighbors who only want a flat green lawn. Personally, I like fall leaves everywhere.

[taterguy]

3. The rationale is that unmowed grass attracts rodents, snakes and other pests

I have no idea if that's true or it that's just something people make up to justify it.

[Reader Rabbit]

4. The grass wasn't really high at all.

I don't water my lawn during the summer. I guess it was the dandelions they didn't like. I kinda thought they were pretty myself. They certainly weren't thick enough to have hidden any varmints.

I'm trying to be very Zen about all this, but what I'd really like to do is take all my neighbors' addresses and sign them up for magazine subscriptions. I'd sign 'em up for porn, but they'd probably like that.

I think I'll ask the pot-smoking kids next door if they got a nuisance notice. Their weeds are as high as mine, so they should have.

[TK421]

5. Don't you just love busybody neighbors like that?

I had a couple, and they were in an apartment complex ( I know that may sound odd ).

Had a second-floor apartment with a rather narrow balcony which, if you walked out on it you would be looking at your neighbors grill, chairs, etc...you get the picture. Really no privacy out there at all.

Apparently, having a bicycle there is a major eyesore for some people ( mostly losers ) but the funny thing is, most of the tenants there had satellite dishes out on their balcony ( which was a clear violation, stated in the rental agreement ). You think anything was ever said about that? FUCK NO

Neighbors downstairs were too god-damned lazy to walk their garbage to the dumpster ( maybe a twenty second walk ) but instead, left it in piles right outside their door....think anything was ever said about that? FUCK NO

I really think people love to complain about shit nowadays...just for the fucking hell of it, I swear.

edited to add: if you find out who did the complaining, take a big, steaming dump on their lawn

[Reader Rabbit]

6. I was thinking of putting up a big poster that says, "Dear Lawn Nazi..."

Not sure what to write after that. Obviously, I have to keep it clean in order to stay out of trouble, but if it's on my property, I'm pretty sure I'm within my rights.

[hippywife]

7. Kill all the grass

organically, of course, and plant a huge vegetable garden. That'll show 'em. No really, that's what I'd do. Because there will, of course, be people who won't like that, either. Check your local city ordinances first to be sure there's nothing saying you can't and then have at it. :hi:

[Reader Rabbit]

9. I've already done that in my back/side yard.

I'm on a corner lot, and it's the parking strips that are the problem. I was planning on doing that eventually, and then just planting lavender and rosemary and other bushy-type things. Maybe I should just get started right now. Still it's a lot of work, and summer's almost over.

Something to ponder, though.

[hippywife]

11. You can grow all kinds of things for the fall.

Gardening is not just a spring thing. You can grow all kinds of lettuce, spinach, broccoli, winter squash, peas, beans, potatoes, beets, turnips, cabbage, kale...lots of stuff!

Even if you don't want to plant now, you can cover the ground to kill the grass to prep it for spring now.

[MorningGlow]

8. Seriously?

Man, that sucks. I just mowed my lawn after two weeks of letting it go, so I could have qualified for one of those notices, but my neighborhood isn't like that. In fact, I didn't trim some thorn bushes by the sidewalk on the sidestreet side of our property for months because I've been waiting to have a tree guy come and yank them out--our neighbor behind us trimmed them for us...quietly. I'm so embarrassed that they felt they had to pick up our slack! But niceness goes farther than asshole notices.

[Reader Rabbit]

10. Yup. The kids next door got cited, too.

I thought it was just me, but they've got a big notice taped up next to their door. Once they all get home, I'm going to go over and conspire, er, commiserate with 'em. :evilgrin:

[malta blue]

12. A friend of mine had that happen to him -

bizarre part was that his yard/garden was on the "historical homes" tour as a typical 18th century English garden :rofl:

[LostInAnomie]

13. Sounds like it's a good time to fertilize your lawn (with pig shit).

Then go on vacation for a few days.

[XemaSab]

14. Mow it at 4 in the morning

:P