Internet dating horror stories, post em!

[HEyHEY]

No fucking joke; I once had a woman pull out a list of pre-written questions at dinner. I almost blew beer out of my nose from trying to hold in the laughter.

[amitten]

1. One guy told me he wanted to dance for me.

In a loincloth.

On edit: He was serious.

[HEyHEY]

3. We've had this discussion! You were leading me on!

[LeftyMom]

2. Flvegan made me wait a very long time at the airport.

I thought I'd flown three thousand miles and got stood up.

Turned out he'd been in a minor car accident.

[amitten]

4. He was totally making out with me at the time.

He kept saying, "I'll be late" but I just forced him to continue...

[LeftyMom]

6. That reminds me, I have another flvegan horror story

So we're back at the airport so I can go home, wandering over to my gate (it's crazy early and the airport is almost deserted) and pass by a little kiosk selling magazines.

They have a Car and Driver or something reviewing the car he was then lusting over (he later bought it) and I swear, he stops, buys the thing, and spends a couple of minutes looking at it and telling me the various vital statistics of this car before he remembers- oh yeah, I've got a woman here who might want some attention. Apparently finding out how the mazdaspeed stacked up against the subaru wrx (favorably, apparently) couldn't wait the hour or so it would take to go sit in the corner and keep me company until my flight. Boys. :eyes:

He's just lucky he's cute. :grr:

[Shell Beau]

13. That would've sucked.

[flvegan]

17. Hey, I tried to call.

[LeftyMom]

30. unreliable phones= teh suck

I forgive you. But if it happens again, I will be forced to kill you slowly. :*

[Solon]

5. Crazy stalker...

We met on a first date, public place, didn't click, or I should say I didn't click, and that's when the shit happened, she obsessed over me, called me all hours of day and night, wouldn't leave me alone, followed me home from work, threatened my roommate etc.

Called on some friends from the local Sheriff's department to scare the crap out of her was finally able to get her to stop. It was scary for a while though, never been that scared before.

[elshiva]

7. ....

:hug: :hug: :pals:


buffy/

[HEyHEY]

20. I had a friend who made contact via the web once or twice

And the fucking nut ended up phoning her at home - only she never gave him her number

[Connonym]

8. After the movie went to his favorite bar for drinks

at the door he told me I'd be the only straight person in there (ETA he had not previously mentioned he was bi). But the scary part was there were paintings of clown porn decorating the establishment :scared:

He was actually funny and entertaining but I'm too insecure to date a bi man and after he told me some of the other stuff he was into I knew I was waaaaay too vanilla. Other than the scary clown porn I actually enjoyed the evening.

[Haole Girl]

15. Clown porn?

Clown Porn?

:scared:

[PeaceNikki]

9. On our first date, things were going pretty well.

We were watching my friend's band at a bar. There was some flirting and kissing...

About halfway thorough the show he got up and said "I have to go!"
I was like "Uh... ok, why?"
He said "Come home with me!"
I said, "Yeah, no."
He said "Then let's go back to your place."
I said, "Yeah, no."
He said, "Then I have to leave now!"
I said, "Ok, bye."

He followed up with a call a day or 2 later and invited me over. I wasn't able to and said maybe we could do something that weekend. He said, "You know, I won't be on the block for long and there are a lot of women dying to be in your shoes."

I didn't see him again. I was reminded of this guy when posting about the douchiest voice mail message in all of history a couple months ago.

[BlueJazz]

10. "a lot of women dying to be in your shoes"

Oh Brother..."Dying to be"...Huh?
You should have fixed him up with a dead Woman. :rofl:

[PeaceNikki]

11. Yeah, nice, huh?

[HEyHEY]

21. Oh my god

Was this dude in Milwaukee? Cause I didn't think there was THAT level of douche there.

[PeaceNikki]

23. Yes, well, Waukesha (a suburb)

But still. It was shocking. A) He expected to "get some" on the 1st date (like I'm some skanky hoooor or something???!?) and B) He thought of himself as some "great catch" that I should fawn all over.

[HEyHEY]

24. You shoulda kicked his balls and said, "Is that how you like it?"

[PeaceNikki]

26. He was a former Navy Seal. I was afraid I'd be hog-tied before my boot made impact.

So I just ran like the wind.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

12. my experiences have mostly been great. even the bad ones have been funny

1. woman showed up to our date. we had a pretty good conversation. she was HOT! however later on, after i was quite buzzed, mentioned that her husband dropped her off to the date. she invited me home. i thought that was a good idea. turns out i was right. still strange to have hubby drop you off.

2. woman showed up to our date. pretty cute. decided to cry in the middle of the date because she had literally just broken up wiht someone who she was dating for 8 years. later she asked me to go home. i thought that was a bad idea. we are friends now. she's great as a friend but i am glad i didnt sleep with her.

3. guy messaged me w.pics from 30 years ago. absolute waste of 30 mins of my time.

[HEyHEY]

22. That happens alot

My friend used to ask for a cell-phone pic of the person touching their nose to ensure it was recent

[bikebloke]

14. Her face had changed since the profile photo.

Cosmetic surgery. The thing was, I thought she was real cute "before". Now she looks the same as her personality - bland.

A pre-Internet horror: This one decided her flat was haunted. So she did some strange ritual of chanting and shaking rattles, pouring salt in the corners. Then painting her floor with a mixture of bay rum, brown sugar and her own urine.

Did I mention how easy it was to be content with my own company after that?

[Haole Girl]

16. Her own urine?

Never heard of that one before!!

:rofl:


Sorry, but I can't help but laugh! LOL

:rofl:

[bikebloke]

18. I shouldn't have been so polite.

On earlier dates, she kept asking if I thought she was weird. The vibes were screaming RUN AWAY!!!

My fault for not making tracks sooner.

[Haole Girl]

19. Don't beat yourself up...

a lot of times, single or not, we see what we want to see in people. :hug:

[Magrittes Pipe]

25. I found my wife on the internets.

:cry:

[HEyHEY]

27. I found my friend's girlfriend on the internets!

That was another funny one. Was talking on MSN with her, she told me her real name, which was a bizarre one... I was like, "Are you Wade's ex?" And she was... so we devised a plot to go over to Wade's so he could meet my new fiancee... but never did it.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

28. I had a blind date once where the guy said

"IN-te-res-ting!" in a swoopy voice to everything I said.

I suppose it's better than "baw-ring!" but freaky, nevertheless.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

29. I had a blind date once where the guy said

"IN-te-res-ting!" in a swoopy voice to everything I said.

I suppose it's better than "baw-ring!" but freaky, nevertheless.