What should I do with my wedding ring?

[krispos42]

Mildly interesting story:

Saturday before last my ex got married. Which isn't relevant except that is makes the ring story more interesting.

Monday before her wedding I'm in the shower. Mondays are when I bring my kid back, and as soon as we're both clean and scrubbed we're going to hit the park then hit the road.

So my kid's in his room with the gate up while I'm in the shower. I get out, get dressed, and go to let him out of the room. (He's 4). He decides to show me three treasures he found while I was showering.

They were, in order: a screw, a small square of plastic, and my wedding ring.



The wedding ring I hadn't seen in well over two years and thought I had lost it when I moved from my old place.


My kid found my old wedding ring literally at the last possible moment before my ex got married. It hit me surprisingly hard, I guess. The timing of the whole thing just blew me away. Then for about a day this bothered me. I'd think about it, I'd look at it, I'd think some more. Now I'm over it.

Anyway, visually it's a nice ring, Black Hills gold with the characteristic pale red and pale green leaves and some scrollwork on it. I think it's 10 karat gold.

So now I'm not sure what to do with it. I could keep it, but it's a symbol of a dead marriage and a broken heart (note the singular there...) And for what? Memories? Hell, I got a boxful of photographs if I want memories.

Should I give it to my son one day? Is that a bad idea because it's from a marriage that ended in divorce?

Or should I sell it? I saw one of those "mail us your old gold and we'll mail you a check" commercials on the TV yesterday. Or maybe a pawn shop?

What have other divorced DUers done with their own wedding rings?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear krispos42...

Would it be possible to have it melted down, and used to make a new ring?

I did that with the rings that my husband gave me, that had been his mom's.

I used the gold to create new rings via lost wax casting.

Just a thought...

:hug:

[krispos42]

2. I presume so

I'm just not sure it's appropriate. If the ring is considered "bad luck" then I don't know if a hypothetical bride-to-be would want my ex's ring melted down and reformed.

Thanks for the hug, though. It's been a rough couple of weeks.

:hug:

[puerco-bellies]

4. The gold in any of our jewelry is likely to have been used many times.

I'm sure some of us are wearing gold that has adorned long lost and forgotten peoples. Fire cleanses, go a head and remake it in to something positive.

[krispos42]

6. That's true, isn't it.

Hmmm... maybe I can save it and let my son's fiancé melt it down into a ring for him.

Thanks! :-)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. It doesn't need to be a wedding ring...

It could be what a right-handed ring...

One that is worn for decorative reasons...

Not marital.

Hang in there...things will get better.

:hug:

[LeftyMom]

3. I would have pawned mine, but my ex stole it when he broke into my house.

He's probably trying to use it to curse me. Then again, he's certifiable.

I'd pawn it. Unless you think your son might want it. My parents broke up when I was a kid, they still can barely stand to look at each other, but I've got their wedding album and such and even though that didn't work out it's still family history I'm glad to have.

[krispos42]

9. Sounds like a real winner there...

:eyes:


Oy.



You make a good point, though. Once I sell it, I can't get it back.


I should probably just keep it, just in case.

[Heidi]

7. I gave mine to a girlfriend who was getting married;

she and her husband-to-be didn't have money at that time for wedding rings, and T really wanted a ring. It's just an object; rationally speaking, there's no bad luck involved. :hi:

[krispos42]

11. Weddings are the height of irrationality, IMO

:rofl:

[MrsBrady]

8. several years after my parents divorced, my mother had the diamond

from her engagement ring put into a new setting.

it was a way to the keep the rock, but have a completely new ring.
25 years later she still wears it. the diamond is the center of a rose blossom.

or

you could sell it, and use the cash for something nice for yourself...or put it in a CD or give it to charity.

go to a reputable jeweler and get it appraised, if you want to know the real value.

[krispos42]

10. I doubt it's worth very much

Kind of a typical men's wedding band, except it has the Black Hiils gold decoration.


Actually, here's pretty much the exact ring:

[GinaMaria]

12. ebay?

someone might be looking for that exact ring. You could melt it into two rings, a father/son set (a symbol of the best thing to come out of the marriage, your child and the bond you share), Save it for your son to wear not as a wedding band but as a regular ring(a graduation present some day?). What would be the most meaningful way for you to honor all you have been through?

[krispos42]

23. It's not an uncommon ring

The pic I posted above is exactly the ring that I have... and it's available online for a mere $189.75.


Hmph. It's down as a ladies' ring...


But anyway, it's not unique or anything.




And in a nother ironic twist, "Gina" was my mother-in-law's name, and "Maria" is my ex's name.


This is getting wierd... :-)

[GinaMaria]

27. It's just my screen name

Not sure how much money you are looking to spend but what if the ring is melted into a child's band and a Dad's band. As he grows you give more of the gold in your ring to make his bigger until he turns 18 and has the whole thing? It's symbolic of the bond between you and is also symbolic of the letting go when he becomes an adult. Handing more and more independence and responsibility (gold) over to him. It also becomes a rite of passage and something he can do with his child someday. (Rites of passages can be very powerful for young males)

For you it takes the hurt and disappointment and all you are feeling and reshapes it in a positive and forward direction. You now change the meaning of the ring to reflect your growth and your letting go of the past and your vision and hope for the future. You have lived through the experience to realize a stronger bond than one of spouse; the one of parent and the awesome responsibility that goes with it.

Just an idea. Really think about what would be meaningful to you and what would unburden you from the past.

Sending you a hug. This can't be easy, but you will get to the other side. There are many of us waiting there for you.

[Eurobabe]

13. I kept my diamond and my wedding band

from my first marriage. My ex-hubby was a really nice guy, and it is nothing I regret. I have two smart, gorgeous daughters as a result of that union. We were just mismatched as a couple.

Dunno what to tell you, maybe put the ring away, eventually the pain subsides, your son might want it someday? Everyone handles these situations differently. Interestingly enough, I initiated our divorce and don't regret it for a minute, but when he called to tell me that he was getting married about 7 years after we split up, I ran into a supply closet at work and burst into tears. Where that came from, hell if I know??

Four years later, I was happily remarried myself, and remain so to this day. :hug:

[old mark]

14. krospos: Gold is pretty high right now, and

if you sell it to a jeweler, I'm sure you will get a few bucks for it, probably enough for a nice gift for yourself. DON'T pawn it - you will get very little for it, and DON't use the mail-in sales scam because you may get even less.

(IF the pawn shop will buy it instead of pawning it, that may be a good place to sell.)

My wife recently sold an old gold ring and several small pins for a little under $400 at a local jeweler.

mark

[krispos42]

25. Wellt that's what I was thinking. If I was going to sell it, now's a good time.

and I could use the money. I is poor, after all.


And I suspect that she sold the rings that I gave her. She "lost" them at some point years ago, if memory serves.

Hmmmm.

[old mark]

30. Gold is probably better than cash right now. nt

[johnnie]

15. Like others have said...

Have it made into a new ring and maybe put your son's birth stone into it or something to represent that at least something good came of the marriage.

[JoDog]

16. Sell it to a jeweler

or wherever you can get the best price. Then use the money for a college/education fund for your son. That way, something positive can come from it.

[Rising Phoenix]

17. I turned my engagement ring into a diamond necklace

no reason to waste a perfectly good diamond.......

[av8rdave]

18. What I did with mine

I hocked it and bought a new garage door opener.

Every time that door opens/closes, I think, "well, at least she's doing SOMETHING for me!"

[krispos42]

26. LOL

:thumbsup:


Sounds like it didn't end well... :-)

[av8rdave]

28. It didn't....but then, I'm better off for it!

So, no regrets/worries. I do so enjoy watching that door open, though.

[DS1]

19. Get rid of it

Bad mojo

[SacredCow]

20. Good question...

I still have mine in a jewelry box with all of the other jewelry that I never wear. I had thought of having it melted down into something else, but since I really don't wear rings much it hasn't been a priority.

I did give the pinky-ring that my more recent ex gave me back to him. It was quite beautiful, and something that was very near and dear to him- an amazing (and large) emerald set into a plain gold ring. He's taken to wearing it himself, telling me that he's going to until: a- I take it back, or b- he dies. Way to lay on the guilt there, buddy...

[Deep13]

21. Stare at it obsessively while saying "my precious." nt

[mainegreen]

22. Since you have a kid together, keep it to give to him one day.

While you and your ex are not tied together any more, to your son I imagine you always will be in his mind.

Some day down the road, when he's old enough (late twenties or so, when maturity really sets in) offer it to him.
He may just put it in a box, but even in a little trinket/treasure box, you never know just how important that symbol may be to him.

If he doesn't want it then, sell it then and buy yourself a new couch/tv whatever.

But you should be willing to give your son the choice down the road.

IMHO.

[MissMillie]

24. I don't see why you shouldn't give it to your son

I know the marriage ended in divorce, but it also resulted in your son... a nice little keepsake of the love that made him.

[AggieGal]

29. Pawn It

My husband and I got engaged when we were 19 and 20. So a pawn shop was the only way we could afford a good looking ring. One that looks good at all ages. Not just when I was 20 but also later when I become 40 and beyond.

We even had the pawn dealer write that if anything turned out to be fake, we got all of our money back. We took the ring to Kay and they tested it and said it was the real deal.

So we were able to get a $1400 ring for $425. Not bad.

We have been married 12 years and counting. No bad mojo for us.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

31. We were out on the boat, just past Catalina,

and I found my old wedding ring in my backpack. I have no idea why it was there.

My soon-to-be-second-husband took it, looked at it, looked at me, and hurled it into the ocean.

Problem solved.

It's only a ring. Get the cash.

[dembotoz]

32. save it for your son

unless you really need the cash....

When he gets older he might appreciate it.

[crim son]

33. That's a serious coincidence. It would have bothered me, too.

I'm in your situation as well, except I have a gold band, a one-carat diamond engagement ring and another "anniversary" ring with three diamonds... come to think of it, I haven't seen the anniversary one in a while... Anyhow, I just don't want to wear them - they really, really seem like bad luck. But I don't want to pawn them either, because I'd get screwed. And what if I someday got all nostalgic?

It's funny how we put so much stock in "symbols". :hug:

[Iggo]

34. Mail it to me and I'll find it a good home...

...with some jeweler or other.