Can someone explain make up sex to me?

[Generic Brad]

What could one possibly do with a mascara brush? What is titillating about a tube of lipstick? Why would anyone want to dry hump an eye shadow palette?

I just don't get it. :shrug:

[Dr. Strange]

1. When I was in college...

all my sex was made up sex.

[Generic Brad]

2. Even better

I've got to hand that one to you! :rofl:

[PassingFair]

5. Sounds like he did a good job handing it to himself!

:rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

7. Locking!

Locking, I say!

[TX Screwball]

3. All this sex talk...

...is making me blush.

[Generic Brad]

8. Time for a sexy makeover

:+

[flvegan]

4. It's about the makeup left behind.

On the pillow, on the...well, lipstick has a way about, you know, being left...

Oh, nevermind.

[Generic Brad]

6. So one would put makeup on pillows????

And then do what with the gussied up pillow?

[flvegan]

9. This is really almost 3rd party makeup at this point.

It's makeup a first party puts on, a second party helps to remove onto a third party.

If one is putting makeup on a pillow, then well...that's like fucking a pie.

[Generic Brad]

10. Suddenly I am craving an apple pillow

Is that possible?

[LeftyMom]

11. I'm wondering who he's fooling around with that leaves Tammy Faye prints everywhere.

I barely even own any makeup.

[Orrex]

13. Even when the makeup is left behind, the lipstick goes on ahead

[speedoo]

12. From Seinfeld "The Postponement"

Jerry: Let me take a guess. She cried and you caved.

George: How did you know that?

Jerry: I live and breath my friend. . . . I live and breath.

George: I got to tell you I felt terrible. I really thought she was going to collapse and kill herself.

Jerry: Yes, it's very difficult. Few men have the constitution for it. That's why breakups take two or three tries. You gotta build up your immunity.

George: You see those tears streaming down you don't know what to do. It was like she was on fire and I was trying to put her out.

Jerry: Well, at least you probably had some, uh, pretty good make-up sex after.

George: I didn't have any sex.

Jerry: You didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex? I mean that's the best feature of the heavy relationship.

George: I didn't have make-up sex.

Jerry: In your situation the only sex you're going to have better than make-up sex is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit.

George: Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening!