I've got a feeling today is going to be a super shit day.

[billyskank]

:cry:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Oh, my dear billyskank...

Now, why on earth are you thinking this?

I so hope you're wrong, sweetie, and that your day turns out wonderfully...:hug:

[billyskank]

2. Thanks.

But I've had this happen to me time and time again and by now I wonder why I'm ever surprised. :(

[RandomThoughts]

3. I hope all your surprises are good

We have had such good news lately. A new president elected, millions involved in society, a world seeming to heal, people standing with love for their rights, and others standing with them knowing others rights defend their rights. Justice is being found again, people are speaking and reporting. And we even have had songs, and dance, and their is a bunch of smart people working hard on the problems we do face. Sure their are some bad things, but it seems to be better every day.

I hope your day today goes marvelously well, good feelings to you :)

[coyotespaw]

8. Welcome to DU

hopefully you'll stay out of GD: P and you'll be able to keep that optimisim.

[MissHoneychurch]

4. It's just the jet-lag

:D

:hug:

[billyskank]

6. No, it isn't.

I'm over the jet lag now.

[Lucian]

5. Usually when I get that feeling, it turns out to be true.

:(

[billyskank]

7. Me too.

I have considerable experience in this area.

[VenusRising]

9. Aw, billy, I sure hope it's not.

:hug::hug::hug:

[BarenakedLady]

10. Sending good vibes your way.

:hug:

[DS1]

11. start smoking

[imnothere]

12. Then it most likely will...it's all in the way you look at things

I can tell you one thing you are able to do and that is post on here. Think about people dealing with horrors like ethnic cleansing, whose most pressing matter is avoiding getting hacked to death.

At some point, there is a choice. If you are unhappy just believing that you WILL have a bad day (in other words, it hasn't even happened yet and you're miserable), then you have a habit of negative thinking. But with practice you can develop an attitude of gratitude (sorry for the cliche). Because there are good things in your life.

[redqueen]

14. There is no better method of comforting those in pain

than minimizing and dismissing their feelings.

Good job!

:sarcasm:

[imnothere]

16. Well, I think I just read another post of his...sometimes people don't understand their patterns

Also, sometimes people think they are supporting others when in fact they are enabling them to continue destructive behavior. Being a disembodied entity on an Internet site is not the equivalent of a 'good friend.'

Example: I read someone on here recently complaining about how effed-up her life was and everyone was so 'sympathetic.' As I read little details she provided, it became clear that she had a substance abuse problem (she mentioned not being able to get her narcotic pills). I wasn't being dismissive; I was simply stating that it does become a choice. I could have told him to stop feeling sorry for himself in that case.:shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

20. Wow. Nice post

about someone who you have no idea. Sanctimonious much?

Let me fill you in a bit here. In the lounge when someone is having a hard time, we, the members of this website, make an effort to assist them via our keyboards.

If you aren't able to do that, perhaps this isn't the place for you. Your armchair diagnosis sucks eggs, dude.

[imnothere]

26. Sorry. I didn't mean to appear insensitive, but you also must avoid jumping to conclusions about me

The way one helps another is subject to debate. If you agree with someone (especially if they always come on and complain), then you reinforce their negative attitude and hurt them. Likewise, a person can appear to be uncaring and really end up helping someone because they didn't coddle the person and agree with false premises.

[Midlodemocrat]

27. I jumped to the right conclusion.

Your armchair diagnosis is disgusting.


Plonk.

[imnothere]

30. Apparently you're humanitarian efforts only are directed towards those who complain about stuff

which hasn't even happened yet! Okay, proceed. By the way, there's another poster who needs comfort. She wants her fucking life back!

[Midlodemocrat]

31. My humanitarian efforts are directed at those

who aren't complete assholes. You're a total jerk.

[AirmensMom]

35. Do you even have a clue?

:wtf:

You have NO IDEA what people are going through. Reaching out to their friends here is not something that should be ridiculed. You're only making yourself look like an ass.

[AirmensMom]

32. He doesn't

always come on here and complain. He posts pictures, recipes, and just plain talks. He got a good review at work the other day and posted about that.

Your version if "helping" won't help this person at all. Oh, and a hug and a kind word when he's afraid that something might happen ... something you don't have a clue about ... isn't the same as coddling.

[redqueen]

39. Calling those things "coddling" is projecting.

For whatever reason, that person is reacting to someone in need in a way that puts his own feelings and thoughts above those of the person in need.

Now THAT is self-absorption!

[Midlodemocrat]

40. Seriously.

Here for ONE DAY and knows all the ins and outs of our darlin' billyskank? What a total tool.

[imnothere]

43. I am trying to keep my spirits up myself...reading someone make such a negative statement

first thing in the morning just riled me. If something bad happens and you comfort him, I don't call that coddling. Nothing has happened yet.

Oh, and are you going to jump over poster #22? Or was what s/he wrote fine and dandy? Fair is fair...

[redqueen]

51. I'm not the thread monitor, guy.

If you want me to go spank someone for you, then I gotta ask you what's in it for me? And chances are I might not agree with you that it's jump-worthy... so you might wanna just alert the post to the mods if it's that big a deal to you.

I'm sorry you got riled by reading the subject line... like I said in another post... that happens to me, too. But you have to realize that doing what you did IS self-centered. I dunno about others but that riles me. So you got riled, then we got riled, and now look where we are?

May I suggest that next time someone hurting riles you, you try to ignore that, and either keep looking for amusing threads to cheer you up... or just post a damn thread ASKING for us to help you cheer up. People do that here, you know.

[AirmensMom]

52. Can't disagree with you on that.

:thumbsup:

:hi: :hug:

[imnothere]

41. I just didn't appreciate the title of the post...no harm meant at all

If you will notice, I have been called names for my post. I hardly think that is behavior consistent with a compassionate individual.

It upsets me to read all these people coming in the Lounge and making outright defeatist, negative comments. I am out of work myself. I have many things I could bitch about. It's a downer to read such negative threads. It's different when people want to be comforted about sad/bad things that have already occurred. Do you understand?

[Midlodemocrat]

42. Oh, okay. So we'll completely revamp the lounge

to suit you, someone who has been here for not quite a day, because those posts upset you.

Get over yourself. You certainly haven't made friends here today, so if that was your intent, congratulations.

[imnothere]

45. I was introduced to DU in 2004 and just read for a while

No, I am not here to make friends. I don't consider people on the Internet to be real relationships. But notice that I apologized and you still refused to soften.

[AirmensMom]

49. News flash!

Many of us have met each other in real life after meeting here and talk with each other regularly, outside of DU. Not sure that qualifies as "friends" in your book and I don't care either way. You sure do make a lot of assumptions!

[Midlodemocrat]

50. You didn't apologize to billyskank.

You said you were sorry if you appeared insenstive. That's not an apology, that's worse than no apology at all.

Didn't they cover that in any of the books you read?

[redqueen]

44. There's a little red x by all the thread titles.

Click that next time, instead of taking a huge dump in a thread, and presto! No bad reactions to your bad reaction.

We all have bad days and things that we can bitch about, and when we talk about them here we are seeking support or just to vent or whatever... not so that self-righteous folks will "kindly" lecture us about how our problems ain't really shit so we should get over it.

I know how you feel. I have that same reaction too sometimes. But you know what? I know better than to wave my self-centered concern for my own feelings over those of others around like a flag. And if I did I most certainly wouldn't be surprised after I got rightly spanked for it.

You really have completely missed the point with the whole psychology stuff.

[imnothere]

53. Don't misunderstand me--I am not surprised to be spanked

It's not PC these days to suggest empowering oneself. We are supposed to blame others and if someone suggests diffently, they are demonized.

I have detected a trend of various posters who complain about their living situations. I could do the same and get the sympathy but it's just a quick fix. I need to really figure out how to get out of this hole I am in. And when I read people who seem to have no hope in a better day, well, it gets to me. Yes, you are right and I could just move on. I usually do. It was the bitching before the actual negative event that led me to my observation.

[redqueen]

55. Don't even try that bullshit with me. "empowering oneself" PUHLEEZ!

Look buddy... you seriously do not know what you're talking about.

And with that last display of Bill O'Reilly-style arrogant, self-righteous ignorance, I'm done trying to help you.

Good luck! And enjoy your stay! :hi:

[imnothere]

59. Comparing me to Bildo? Why I never!

Now you have really insulted me...:yoiks:

[redqueen]

60. Only cause he also speaks loudly and proudly

about things he doesn't understand.

Of course it's a Panda! :rofl:

[AirmensMom]

46. Don't like it?

Ignore the thread.

No, I don't understand. I have a pile of shit on me right now that I don't now if I'll ever get out from under. But that doesn't make me insensitive to others, negative comments or not. And you did make a comment about things that have already occurred when you brought up the thread about the other person wanting her life back.

You need to go back and learn about behavior and all the other bullshit you're spouting. You're running down my friends and I won't just sit here and let you do it.

[Midlodemocrat]

48. .

:applause:

[redqueen]

56. ...

:loveya:

Now THAT is a post from someone who REALLY understands psychology, also has her own problems, and somehow still manages to have at least a modicum of EMPATHY for others! Imagine that!

:yourock:

[datasuspect]

47. newcomer--you just got grief swarmed

i agree with you somewhat: what you think is what your reality becomes.

i often feel like crap and suffer with depression, but then there is a lot i'm not willing to do to deal with it.

coming here and whining wouldn't accomplish much.

so i drink.

[redqueen]

54. "Whining"

There's that projection again.

And hey, drinking is a MUCH healthier way to deal... kudos to you!
:sarcasm:

[datasuspect]

61. doofus

i wasn't saying billy was whining.

i was saying i try to keep MY whining to myself.

talk about projecting.

[redqueen]

71. You implied it.

Sorry I misunderstood what you wrote, but that's clearly the implication when you say "coming on here and whining about it"... that is easily read as referring to your interpretation of what billy did above.

[datasuspect]

73. i don't make implications

if i have a problem with someone, i will let them know in no uncertain terms.

i don't play the passive aggressive bullshit game here. .

actually, i have no problem with billy. or you for that matter.

so, love, peace, and afro grease.

[redqueen]

74. Well you may not have intended to...

but that's something we all do with our words and actions, all the time.

Got no beef with you either... so peace. :)

[imnothere]

57. I quit drinking but there is that saying "stinking thinking"

(I have never gone to AA but I was made aware of it.)

Apparently, it's taboo to suggest other possibilities, in terms of the ways in which we think. If I were a Psychiatrist and charged $75 an hour, it'd be all good, though! Oh, and if I doled out some meds in the process. The OP hasn't even had a bad thing happen and yet he's scanning the horizon for it. As a man thinketh, so he becomes...

[Midlodemocrat]

58. When I was practicing, I charged $150 a professional hour.

So, I guess I'm better at this than you are. Had to stop taking patients actually because I was so booked.

I wouldn't ever PRESUME to issue a dx over the friggin' internet and I'm qualified to dx any mental health issues.

Your insensitivity is astonishing. Go back and play in GD and see how many people posted in your astrology thread. That woo woo stuff is apparently more interesting to you than offering a kind word.

[imnothere]

64. I wasn't talking about prescribing over the Internet

I was talking about prescribing period. Something I take issue with. People need to learn different thought patterns, not to get obliterated on some drug.

You were practicing? Why did you quit? Sounds like society could use your compassion.

[Midlodemocrat]

68. OMG.

obliterated on some drug? Are you serious?

Good God. I don't even know where to start.

[datasuspect]

75. buck fifty per hour?

perfessional?

how come you spend so much time here?

most busy perfessionals are busy doing perfessional stuff all day, not posting on message boards.

[Midlodemocrat]

76. I'm not practicing anymore.

And, I only spend sporadic spurts here lately. I'm in between projects so things are quite a bit slower, fortunately.

[datasuspect]

77. i'm seriously fucking off here at work today

cannot get focused.

[redqueen]

67. A psychiatrist has a relationship with patients.

You have none with billyskank, yet still took it upon yourself to dole out some SNL-themed advice.

And I'm DAMN sure you're far from qualified enough to even be fantasizing about being a mental health advocate.

You're a real piece of work.

[fizzgig]

69. and how do you know that nothing had happened yet?

just because he didn't mention it? maybe it was one shitty little thing that threw his whole day off from the start.

why not get the whole story before you start jumping to conclusions about a person you don't know

[AirmensMom]

62. Huh?

Drinking is a more effective way of dealing with it? :wow: Yeah, I suppose reaching out to your friends is a bit 20th century.


:banghead:

[datasuspect]

63. you are making a mistake in thinking

that all comments apply to you or this situation.

lift your head up, there's more to look at than your navel.

is it beer thirty yet?

[AirmensMom]

70. "coming here and whining wouldn't accomplish much.

so i drink."

I don't think any of the comments apply to me, actually. That doesn't mean I can't post a reply. And if your comment didn't apply to the OP, it shouldn't have been posted. Just as easy as that. :shrug:

[Name removed]

72. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[redqueen]

28. Do more reading, and less talking.

I suggest that you read books about psychology, cause you don't get it.

You really do think you're being helpful, but you're not in a position to know if what you're saying is actually going to be helpful to that person, or hurtful. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, you know. (I love cliches!)

[imnothere]

33. I have read plenty of stuff on the subject, but thanks for making my point

You don't know that you are being helpful, just like you don't know that I am being hurtful.

Sorry, but sometimes putting things in perspective is helpful. Depressed people are notorious for being self-absorbed. Been there, done that, bought the thong.

[Midlodemocrat]

34. You're still here?

[redqueen]

36. Not enough, apparently!

One of the first things you have to do in order to even begin to think about helping most people is establish trust.

By invalidating someone's feelings, and dismissing them by comparing them to someone else's troubles... you are immediately breaking any possibility of a connection, or establishing trust.

Also, comparing people at all is a HUGE fuck up, psychologically speaking.

So... I'm calling bullshit. Whatever you THINK you learned, you got it wrong.

Go back, try again.

I'm only telling you this to be helpful. :hi:

Peace.

[AirmensMom]

65. I KNOW

you are being hurtful. Put money on it.

[AirmensMom]

24. There's no contest

to see who wins the "I have the most shit to deal with" prize. I can say with complete confidence that it doesn't help to think about the horrors you mentioned.

We come here to support each other. I guess you missed the memo.

[IndianaJones]

66. attitude of gratitude. lmao. nt.

[redqueen]

13. ...

:pals:

Had a few of those myself recently... here's hoping they pass quickly for you.

[Crazy Dave]

15. Which means that tomorrow will be better

:woohoo:

[Shell Beau]

17. No it isn't!!!!!!!! You are going to have a great day because I said so!!

:hug:

[Inchworm]

18. Let's hope things brighten' up for ya

sending hillbilly vibes for ya!

>> :hug: <<

[bicentennial_baby]

19. i have a lot of those lately...like, every day

You get used to it, really.

x(

[siligut]

21. Oh, dear.

:hug: I was really surprised when I discovered that precognition in itself doesn’t help you change what happens. I read a book on practical magic and it described how one could change what one perceived by extra sensory ability. It is a matter of believing in your perception and taking an action to alter what happens.

Plus an extra shot of espresso! And another :hug:

[lizziegrace]

22. self-fulfilling prophecy

or a situation beyond your control?

:hug:

[AirmensMom]

23. I hope you're wrong.

I'm assuming no news is good news at this point. :hug:

[blueraven95]

25. I hope your day has been better than you expected

:hug:

[Lucian]

29. I have that feeling now.

:(

[redqueen]

37. You can't snap your fingers and make it go away...

but you can try to redirect your thoughts so that you minimize the duration / severity of the negative feelings.

Good luck. :hug:

[Lucian]

38. Oh, they will be minimized tonight after work.

When I go to the bar and get plastered.

And thanks. :hug:

[supernova]

78. Billy, I hope your day was better than you expected

:hug:

Please ignore the giant shit dump in the middle of this thread and concentrate on your friends. :-) :loveya:

[KitchenWitch]

79. I have hugs and kisses for you.

:hug::*:hug::*