There may be hope in America, but my marriage is over.

[knitter4democracy]

My soon-to-be-ex told me last night that, even though he'd been in therapy with me and had promised me that he was working on himself and us and wanted to stay married, he's been back with his mistress and that he's leaving me for her. Apparently, he doesn't want to be married to me anymore and thinks I'm the source of all his unhappiness. Whatever.

It just feels awful. I didn't work on the Obama campaign because I was working through health crap and this, and now that Obama's won, it feels almost like someone poured salt in the wound. Everyone's so happy and excited, and I'm crying and trying to protect myself and my kids.

I could really use some vibes, prayers, good thoughts, shouts at the sky, whatever right now.

[skygazer]

1. I'm so sorry

Do whatever you have to in order to protect you and your kids and know that we've got your back. :hug:

[knitter4democracy]

2. Thank you.

He's staying here tonight to help the kids with the transition, and all I want to do is scream at him and kick him out of the house. With the way the kids are needing him, though, I just can't do that. As bad as he's been to me, he's still their dad.

[redqueen]

3. ...

:pals:

[AwakeAtLast]

4. So sorry to hear this!

You have a friend here - you've been there for me in the past. Let me know if I can do anything!

:hug:

[malta blue]

5. i am sorry.

i am in a similar situation. :hug: i have found in my own relationship issues that i cannot be responsible for someone else's happiness or lack thereof. we are all here for you.

~mb

[SPKrazy]

6. hang in there

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[applegrove]

7. Vibes to you knitter.

[Gormy Cuss]

8. Hugs for you and the kids, knitter.

It will get better when the STBE is out of the house. I'm sorry that it's come to this.:hug:

[flvegan]

9. I'm sorry, knitter.

I hope things turn up for you.

[BlueIris]

10. Ouch; I'm sorry. But it's clearly been a long time coming.

And as you know, I think you'll be much better off without this person in your life.

[bicentennial_baby]

11. B. ....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

You know you have a legion of people out here who care for you and will be there for you. Remember that. :loveya:

[Redstone]

12. That's a damn shame. Divorce is rarely easy, but I hope you get through the process

with a minimum amount of pain and suffering.

Just remember, it DOES get better, with time. I'd not have believed that when I was going through my own hideous divorce, but it's true.

Redstone

[Lars39]

13. All the hugs you ever need, knitter.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[puerco-bellies]

14. Good thoughts to you, and yours.

There is nothing that can be said to ease your pain. I know what it is like and it is something that you will have to walk through in your own way, and your own time.
Peace
p-b

[NanceGreggs]

15. I am so sorry you are in this situation, K4D ...

As a survivor of two failed marriages, I know the "transitional" stage is a tough row to hoe.

But there is life on the other side of this ... and you'll get there.

:hug:

[AlCzervik]

16. Hugs for you and i'm very sorry.

:hug:

[supernova]

17. Peace to you K4D

:hug: :hug:

Nah. That he's not happy isn't your fault. You (all of us) can't make someone else happy. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness.

[Generic Brad]

18. Good vibes on the way

Like everyone else here, I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing this. Please, please, please hang in there. For us?

:grouphug:

[latebloomer]

19. That really stinks, knitter

A very tough passage to go through.

Wishing you bright light at the end of the tunnel.

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. I am so very sorry. Sending you some strength vibes and a

silver lining. It may be a while before you are ready for that second one, but someday I hope you find a way to apply it. :hug:

And I'd like to add that he doesn't know what a good thing he's losing.

[emilyg]

21. I'm so sorry.

[Withywindle]

22. Hugs and vibes and shouts at the sky for you.

:hug:

[grasswire]

23. oh no.........

I'm so sorry. It's hard to think of anything to say that doesn't sound trite. It's just the old, sad story that so many wives have faced, world without end amen. Do not allow his character flaw to be a measure of your worth, dear heart. A whole, big, good world awaits your awesome contributions.

Lawyer up. We are here for you.

[Evoman]

24. For ten bucks and a smile, you can hire me to pound the crap out of him.

Trust me, it will make you feel a hell of a lot better and I'll be able to afford a Booster Juice.

Just kidding...sort of.

Hang in there, lady. I'm not a big believer in vibes, as you well know, but I'll send them to you anyways.

[knitter4democracy]

33. I might really consider that. You'd have to get in line, though.

Some of our college friends are threatening to do the same thing. We got together in college, and everyone from there who knew him before he turned himself into "that guy" (you know, the one everyone talks about behind his back, amazed that he's that horrible) is threatening coming up here and beating the crap out of him. Even our friend who's at Ave Maria's seminary to become a right-wing Catholic priest.

And I do know that it's a huge thing for you to send vibes. You are a true friend. :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

25. I'm sorry, Knitter4democracy...

I wish I could give you real hugs, but these will have to do...
:hug::hug::hug:

[mwb970]

26. Here's a little book with a lot of common sense about getting back on track.

http://www.amazon.com/Jack-Canfields-Key-Living-Attraction/dp/0757306586/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1227438971&sr=8-1

This is the best of the many "self help" books I have read. It has helped me a lot! Maybe you would get something out of it too.

edit: add pic

[mnhtnbb]

35. Oh, knitter, I am so sorry. Be good--and kind--to yourself. As someone upthread said

she's getting a cheater. Any guy who wants to blame his unhappiness all on his wife is basically
not being truthful with himself and abusive of her. Doesn't make it any easier to let go, but that's the best thing to do in the long run.

Hang in there. Better times will come. In the meantime lots of cyberhugs are available here. You aren't alone.

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

27. Prayers and healing light for you.

And please, remember it's not your fault.

It's difficult, I know.

But it sounds to me as if he already had his mind made up.

I wish you all good things, knitter.

You deserve them.

:hug:

[regnaD kciN]

28. I'm so very sorry...

(Sucks, doesn't it?)

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Indi Guy]

29. The betrayal is the worst part...

I've been there, and nothing compares to that pain.

The good vibe from me to you is that someone understands.

[WinkyDink]

30. {{knitter4democracy and children}}. Hang in there, and in here. "She" is getting a cheater.

[lost-in-nj]

31. I am so sorry

:hug:


vibes and thoughts to you...

my divorce was final on the 20th...
same thing, just about


lost

[SalmonChantedEvening]

32. Huge loving vibes knitter4democracy

:hug: :loveya: :hug:

[knitter4democracy]

34. Wow. You are all so loving and wonderful, and I'm sitting here weepy.

I feel so blessed to have people to lean on through this. All he has is her (his family's livid), but I've got friends here and at Knitty, from college and church, family, and through knitting who are all being so wonderful and supportive. I think I'll get through just fine. I'm going to go to grad school and teach, like I've always wanted to, and I have a spark of hope today that it'll get better eventually. Thank you all for this!

[PassingFair]

36. Knit him one of these:

He's going to need it when she dumps his ass when
she finds out all the money he's going to have to
share with you.

(Make it in extra small, so it fits properly.)

[knitter4democracy]

40. I might have the right itchy nasty yarn for that somewhere.

;)

[PassingFair]

42. May I suggest goat hair?

Not the Angora kind.....

Sorry you are having to go through this, Knitter.

:hug:

[knitter4democracy]

44. Nope. Allergic.

I was thinking a very scratchy nasty acrylic that I have around here somewhere.

Ooh, better yet, *The Yarn*. It's the worst color scheme in a variegated ever: itchy wool in a yellow, brown, purple, red, and white variegated. *shudder* Sooooo nasty.

Thanks for the giggle. I needed one today.

[bicentennial_baby]

45. How about some Kureyon with pieces of straw still embedded in it?

:D

:hug:

[knitter4democracy]

46. Wait. Then I'd have to knit with the Kureyon.

*shudder* Sooo nasty!

[bicentennial_baby]

47. !!!

:rofl:

It doesn't bother me, so if you need it, I can volunteer. :patriot:

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

37. I'm so sorry my friend.

Better days are on the horizon for you, I just know it.

And, let her have him. She'll find out soon enough what a jerk he is. :hug:

[rubberducky]

38. (((((((((Hugs to you and the little ones)))))))))))

I`ve been in your shoes. It`s never easy but, this time of the year sure stinks to get such a kick in the butt. Prayers, good thoughts and good vibes being sent your way!

[knitter4democracy]

41. He apparently planned to wait until January. Didn't think I'd catch him.

He's done nothing to prepare for the divorce, either, from what I can tell. Stupid. Really stupid.

And yeah, it makes a hard time of year for me even worse. Dammit, I'm going to make sure my kids have a lovely Christmas anyway.

[Danger Mouse]

39. Hang in there. We are all on your side, love.

:hug:

[truedelphi]

43. Ouch. Sorry for that and many beams in the way

Of condolences. Sometimes life really throws a curve ball.

Hope you are able to get through the pain and on to a new and better life.