bicentennial_baby
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:02 AM
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Update on Me, for a change.... |
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Hi everybody. I'm still alive, or something like that.
I'm not really doing that well, to be honest. I can't imagine how much more exhausted I can get. Sleep does nothing for me. I'm not eating enough. Dehydrated. Probably drinking too much. Eh...
I went into the city tonight for my Collective meeting. It was good to get out of the house, and to see my co-workers. They were really wonderful to me, and tried to relieve me of my duties (I'm on an editorial committee for our March/April magazine issue), and tried to prevent me from taking on more work (1-2 hours next week of fact checking). I told them that it's fine, and I need *something* in my life that doesn't involve hospitals, paperwork, bureaucracy, etc. They understood. I also got a lot of hugs. :)
On the brighter side, I am leaving to go home on Monday morning for 4 days. Home to my bedroom, home to walk my dog, home to meet up with former Professors that I haven't seen in 2 years for coffee. Home to silence and starry night sky. :)
I had a really horrific panic attack today. There are moments when I think that the thread I'm hanging on by is going to snap, but in the end, I have to keep moving forward. There's really no other choice. I will take my friend Chris' suggestion though: Less Internet, more reading novels. Also, I'm winding up a bunch of beautiful yarn for a lace shawl project I'm starting tomorrow.
So there it is. Today I ate a banana, a veggie burrito, and a clementine. Oh, and some Chocolate. :9
:hi:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:06 AM
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Looks to me as though you're doing exactly what you should be doing!
Enjoy your time at home...Silence and starry night sky should be very restorative...
I hope they are, sweetie...:hug:
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LeftyMom
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:08 AM
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2. You sound better than you have previously. |
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I hope that you're feeling less stressed. :hug:
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bicentennial_baby
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:12 AM
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3. Funny, b/c I feel worse...lol |
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I think it's the exhaustion taking its toll. The stress isn't a whole lot better, but being out of school and going home soon is helping. I really need to start taking better care of myself. I'm thankful that I didn't crash the car during my panic attack. Jeez louise.
I'll make it through, I always do. Plus, I'll have an awesomely tragic personal essay when I apply to the MIT PhD program. :P
:hug:
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swimboy
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:22 AM
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4. It came into my head to look for you. |
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I haven't been on-line to speak of. Real life has gotten demanding. But it did pop into my head a minute ago to check and see how you were. I hope a break from school and a trip home will help you recharge. Take good care of yourself. If there's other stuff going on, I hope that all works out too. I sure wish you the best.
:hug:
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bicentennial_baby
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. Oh jeez babe, you have no idea... |
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Short story, the last 3 weeks have been hell on earth. Mom in hospital with blood clots on brain, Mom gets put on feeding tube, fighting to keep Mom out of a nursing home.
HELL.
I left school early. Taking Incompletes in my classes.
But, I am SO happy to see you! :hug:
:loveya:
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ScreamingMeemie
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:24 AM
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5. I was just thinking about you and hoping things were going well. |
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I'm sorry to hear that they haven't been. Please take good care of yourself. :hug:
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bicentennial_baby
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:26 AM
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7. It's all relative, my love |
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Could always be worse, could always be better, no?
:hug: I love you, L.
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Fleshdancer
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:27 AM
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8. You're in my thoughts love |
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If I could take on some of your stress, I would. I'm so sorry your life is so hard right now. :hug:
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bicentennial_baby
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:34 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
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I'll make it, one way or another. I'm convinced that something has to give one of these days. It just has to. :hug:
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crim son
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:38 AM
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10. Panic attack. Have you tried yoga, or active meditation? |
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I'm sorry for the hell you've been going through; you've been brave. When you cannot influence the cause, sometimes you can have some control over symptoms. Yoga was a miracle for me with my panic attacks and depression when I was younger. Just meditation is a wonderful tool.
Please take care of yourself.
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ThomCat
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Fri Dec-05-08 12:42 AM
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11. I hope things improve from here. |
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