POST A JOKE.

[Bertha Venation]

NOW!

In Bertha's thread, joke eats you! (Okay, that's lame)



Q: What do invisible cats drink?

A: Evaporated milk.



Keep it clean; I don't want this thread locked.

POST A JOKE

[SoxFan]

1. Two bad jokes

[edbermac]

2. What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

:rofl:

[qb]

3. Why was the nose sad?

Because he did not get picked.

[DS1]

4. A couple finally have sex after years of waiting for the right moment

Afterwards the woman says "My god, you are the worst lover in the world"

"Ridiculous!" the man retorts, "There's no way you could decide that after only 10 seconds!"

[Bertha Venation]

5. kick

:kick:

[tjwash]

6. A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender says "what is this, a joke?"

[meegbear]

7. A girl says to her boyfriend "I heard you're a pedophile" ...

"Pedophile? That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old."

:hide:

[DS1]

13. ah

A pedophile and a 12 year old are both walking through the woods at night when the girl says "Mr. I'm scared". The pedophile looks down at her and says "You're scared? I have to walk out of these woods alone!"
        ^

[FloridaJudy]

8. What did the fish say

When it swam into a wall?














































Dam! :hide:

[Zavulon]

9. How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

[jberryhill]

10. My favoritist joke

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack.

So, he says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says "$30,000." The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain pig, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink pig.
"I mean, what the heck is this?"


The bank manager looks back at her and says,



















"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack.
Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[mokawanis]

11. The doc said I was an ugly baby

My dad was offended and said "I'd like a second opinion", so the doc looks him over and says "ok mister, you're ugly too".

[Blue-Jay]

12. Two firemen were butt-fucking in a smoke-filled room.

The Fire Chief walked in, and yelled "What in the Hell is going on here?!?"

One of the firemen said "Well....you see sir...He was suffering from smoke-inhalation."

"SMOKE INHALATION!?", said the Fire Chief, "Didn't you try mouth-to-mouth?"

The fireman replied, "Of course. How do you think this shit got started?"

[machI]

14. What did the digital clock say to its mother?

Look Ma!

No hands.

[Blarch]

15. What do women and KFC have in commen ?

Once you get passed the legs,thighs and breasts, there is still a greasy box to stick your bone in.

Sorry guys ... :evilgrin:

[underpants]

16. A guy is sitting in his living room reading the newspaper

something catches his eye and he looks down to see a snail crawling across the floor

He picks up the snail, opens the front door, and heaves the snail across the street into his neighbor's yard

three months later the guy is again sitting in his living room when there is a knock on the door

He opens the door. No one is there. He looks left....right....and finally looks down. It's the snail.

and the snail says























WHAT THE F*#K!?!??!?

:wtf::shrug::grr:

[buzzycrumbhunger]

17. How about something political? or geeky? or both?

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set-square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."