I got a dirty look the other night for telling my daughter about Baby Jesus.

[jobycom]

We were at the "Trail of Lights," a big Christmas display here in Austin that requires you to walk around a mile long loop, shoulder to shoulder with a few thousand of your closest friends. Halfway around, between Southpark characters and Mother Goose, there's a larger-than-life Nativity scene. My almost-ten year old asked about the Wise Men on camels in the display, and not wanting to take it too seriously but not wanting to ignore the question--I'm atheist, but don't really want to sour my kids to religions, preferring to let them make up their own minds--I started free-styling.

"You know who the baby is, right?"
"Jesus," she answered.
"Yes, well that's the first Christmas. Baby Jesus is throwing a party, and all these people are coming to hang out with him. Those are the three wise men on camels, and they crossed the deserts of Iraq to bring gifts and other party stuff, like pizza and beer, for the Baby Jesus..."

My kid understands when I'm teasing her, and gives me a skeptical look that any stereotypical school marm would be proud of, but then I noticed an older woman in front of me glaring back over her shoulder at me. I forget some people take things more seriously than I do. :rofl:

[Tom Kitten]

1. Nice story

but yeah some people take things more seriously about their beliefs, maybe more so when they have their kids in tow trying to keep their own personal magic going...

[Connonym]

3. but an invaluable learning opportunity for them

to teach their children that not everybody believes the same thing (just as the OP was doing with her kid in her joking way).

[jobycom]

15. Fair.

But she didn't have kids, and I wasn't preaching over the tops of others. People could hear me, I'm sure, but only if they tried.

[CreekDog]

2. You better pray!

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

[kedrys]

6. I like to think of Jesus as a mischievious badger

:P

[CreekDog]

25. .

:fistbump:

[Enrique]

4. what were they offended by, the beer?

you should have told her they didn't have a drinking age back then.

[jobycom]

12. Not sure.

The beer, the irreverence. Something.

[carlyhippy]

5. my kids would have understood your story a whole lot easier than the conventional story

I think that was cute lol....


I always wondered as a small kid, the 3 wise men came over on camels with gifts, how many days did it take for them to get there, because it shows that they were there on xmas, he was born on xmas, someone had to tell these dudes and they had to load up and camel their way across the desert, and that was not a one day drive by camel, I haven't seen too many camels get in any hurry to get somewhere.

[jobycom]

21. Well, even in the Bible they aren't really present at Jesus's birth.

They actually visit Jesus two years later, prompting King Herod to kill all male babies two years or younger in the region (according to The Gospel of Matthew). The nativity stories really are inconsistent, though believers reconcile them, as they do with the various Creation stories in Genesis. Some stories have him born in Bethlehem, some imply he was born in Nazareth. Bethlehem is the city of King David, and it was prophecized that the "Messiah" would be born in Bethlehem, so some people believe that Jesus's birth in Bethlehem was just a myth to make him fit prophecy, and he was really born in Nazareth.

All the stories are combined in the Nativity scene, but none of the stories actually have the Magi at the birth.

I guess I'd have gotten even dirtier looks if I'd have explained that. :)

[Deep13]

7. My sister explained baptism to her 8-yr.-old thus...

Some people believe babies are born evil and that magic water washes the evil off them.

I guess my niece thought that was pretty funny.

[Boudica the Lyoness]

22. That's a good way of putting it

I'll have to remember that one.

[GOPisEvil]

8. That's better than explaining what myrrh is!

:D

[Dangerously Amused]

9. lol!

I might have added, "The three wise men were Iraqis, but they weren't terrorists, and Baby Jesus loved them just the same and you and me..."

Ha, that lady's head would have spun completely around and snapped off!

[Chorophyll]

10. And I would have loved to be there

to see that. :D

[jobycom]

26. Nah, you know me better than that.

I wouldn't purposely make anyone's head explode. :)

[Initech]

11. I like to picture Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt.

It says "I wanna be formal but I'm here to party."

[carlyhippy]

13. LOL that is the funniest movie!.....

I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

[Initech]

17. I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off the evil samurai.

[jus_the_facts]

16. Ask and you shall receive....

:rofl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKDC2iBQTYg

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

14. Pizza and beer beats frankincense and myrrh

whatever those last two are. I mean, can you chug a bottle of frankincense? What good is it?

Pizza on earth, good swill to men.

:hi:

[jobycom]

27. Frankincense and myrrh are way better.

They were more valuable than gold, so you could sell them and by more beer and pizza! :7

Plus, Jesus didn't have any teeth yet, so the pizza was largely a symbolic gift, and the beer was more to help Mary deal with going through childbirth and having to deal with a screaming tike, no matter how divine. Though maybe some of it wound up in the First Son's baby bottle, eh? :)

[peekaloo]

31. Damn! I was told it was frankfurters and Merlot!

THEY lied to me! :cry:

[Javaman]

18. Sound right in a nutshell....

frankly, I have always wondered if the "wisemen" visited anyone else that night. I mean, the Christ kid couldn't have been the only one born that night, right?

So I figure, to cover their bases the "wisemen" hit up all the locals spots and midwives, just to make sure.

the scene: house in better part of Bethlehem

Dad paces out side of bedroom when three wisemen show up.

Dad: Um, hello, can I help you?

WM#1: oh hi, we were just passing through and thought, what the heck, lets see if there are any immaculate conceptions going on here?

Dad: immaculate what?

WM#2: well, you know (winks) Immaculate Conceptions...(nods)

Dad: look, I don't know what you are selling but my wife is about to give birth and...

WM#3: exactly!! here is some gifts, sorry for the small amounts, we have a few more houses to hit...

Dad: what? a couple of small pieces of incense and a single gold coin? wait. (he bites the gold coin) this is gold plated!!!

The 3 wisemen exchange nervous looks.

WM#1: we have a lot of houses to hit...

WM#2: yeah, do you know how many kids are being born tonight?

WM#3: by the way, may we have a look?

Dad: a...look?

WM#3: yeah, you know...a look. (winks and raises eye brows a few times)

Dad: alright! get out you pervs!!!

The Dad shoves the 3 wisemen out.

WM#2: but we are the Wisemen!!! The star in the sky!

WM#1: Immaculate Conception!!!

Dad: right, whatever!! Beat it!!!

[jobycom]

29. hehe! Python-esque, to be sure! nt

[snooper2]

19. Good Job

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

[SacredCow]

20. Well, THEY routinely interpret scripture to meed THEIR needs, right?

It was hardly a bolt of lightning-worthy comment....

:hi:

[Inchworm]

23. Hehe

No harm in telling the story in a way that it's understood. In a way it is similar to paraphrasing a bedtime story from a book when reading to kids at night when you don't feel like reading word for word.

That's basically what I do when asked these questions. My most recent "story" was explaining how back in the day some folks wanted some blessed oil and only had enough for a day but then by some stroke of luck their lucky torch stayed lit for eight days...

:D

[Deep13]

24. "I wasn't talking to you, Maam." nt

[jobycom]

28. Nah, she wasn't intrusive.

I don't think she was even trying to send me a message, I think she was just upset and couldn't really hide it. I'm not mean like that. Well, not most of the time. :)

[azmouse]

30. I think Jesus would find that funny.

He knows humankind well and if He isn't laughing at us (and with us too) I'd be surprised.

[peekaloo]

32. How could you forget the part about the evil Republican Inn owners who

refused their lodging?

:rofl:

[jobycom]

33. Argh!! You're right!

:rofl: And the evil King Busheney who ordered all two year olds murdered to cover up his war crimes!

[Arugula Latte]

34. Did the woman happen to look like this?