Any parent/caregiver who says, Quit crying or I'll give you something to cry about, should be

[raccoon]

It really p's me off to hear that.

Whew, now I feel better.


(Thanks. I did use them, don't know what the h happened.)

[JVS]

1. Huh? Use quotation marks. More words might help too.

[keroro gunsou]

2. i've heard that often enough

directed at my cousins from their parents. oddly enough, it was the uber-fundie parents that said it the most. no wonder i choose not to associate with them. saves them from getting smacked good and hard.

you'd think after i did it to one of my uncles for punching (not slapping) his 6 year old kid in front of me, the rest would learn not to say or do that shit around me.

[PassingFair]

3. I never thought I'd use the phrase...until my 4 year old...

had a fit because someone had cut her
hotdog in half before serving it to
her.

Really, they will cry over shit like that.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. One of the many reasons I have dogs and not kids

Of course, breaking up spats because each one wants the other dog's rawhide is also annoying.

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Given an award and a day at the spa!!!!!

:woohoo:

[NJmaverick]

5. Ahh... that brings back memories of my own childhood

[Blue Diadem]

8. mine too. n/t

[Deep13]

6. I already had something to cry about.

My mother was crazy and my step-father was an alcoholic Jesus freak asshole. And my father was clueless.

[Shell Beau]

9. It is an old saying. I don't think it is used so much anymore.

[skygazer]

10. Slapped for a lack of imagination

My mother had some originality. She used to holler, "I'm gonna murder you!" :rofl:

[Inchworm]

11. hehe

My mom was a thrower/swat you with whatever was in her hand. No verbal warnings though.

I developed such fast reflexes that she only connected like 1 in 20.

:rofl:

but.. then it was "ok wait 'til your father gets home."

:scared:

:hi:

[raccoon]

12. Somebody throwing things at me is a dealbreaker.

BTDT.


"I developed such fast reflexes" --Good on you! :hi:

[Inchworm]

13. but.. but..

She fed me!

She was my mom. I admit to being a terrorist and a hellion.

At some time it was determined by a priest that I was "incorrigible." I still get a kick out of that one :)

:hi:

[skygazer]

14. Anyone who does not wear pants while posting is certainly incorrigible

Which is why you're here in the Lounge. :P


:hi:

[Inchworm]

16. Oops

I got a little rush from the news.. I bled over into GD a bit again.

I think Blago wants a statue built in His name.

:rofl:

[Bake]

23. Just like Dubya, huh.

Dodging shoes ...

:rofl:

Bake

[Inchworm]

28. hehe

shoes, hairbrushes, books, ladels...

you name it!

:rofl:

[jobycom]

15. I've used that, and variants of it, with some success.

I also stole the Eddie Murphy (or Bill Cosby?) line "Do that again and I'll kill you and make another that looks just like you." Most of the time it's a joke.

Anyone who condemns parents for individual actions or words taken out of context has never been a parent. You use what works with what kids it works on. You judge a parent by their overall method and motivation, and by the ultimate effectiveness of such. Even then, there are kids that can't be reached. I had a sociopathic brother, for instance, that couldn't have been fixed by anything.

[tigereye]

17. usually you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but basically I

agree with you.


Most parents occasionally say things they wish they hadn't said in the 24 hour a day maelstrom that is parenting, but most of em don't mean those things and often apologize after if they were too harsh. Occasional dark humor is also necessary at times to maintain parental sanity.


On edit, I don't think I've used the "give you something to cry about" line, but I have been guilty of exasperation at yet another flurry of toddler tears...

[raccoon]

20. OCCASIONALLY is one thing, "most of the time" another.

"but most of em don't mean those things and often apologize after if they were too harsh. "

Apologize? IME (as a kid), grownups never apologized to kids.

You and joby are apparently used to more warm, fuzzy parenting than some of us have experienced.

[jobycom]

25. I've known both types of parenting.

I had a complicated upbringing. My parents were mostly good, but there was a dark period. And I grew up in rural poverty, and saw the worst of it amongst friends and relatives, as well.

I'm not naive. My point is that too many people around here say "A parent should be this way, not that way," or "No parent should ever do this," or "I saw the worst parent today because they did this." We can know nothing about a parent from a single experience. You have to see them over a longer time to know why they act as they do, and whether that is abuse or not. My own parents raised a sociopath, a schizophrenic, an alcoholic, and whatever label fits me. No set of rules applied equally to all of us.

[raccoon]

26. That expression is one that particularly chaps my arse. I don't remember

hearing those specific words, but it sounds so mean, non-nurturing, hateful, etc.

"We can know nothing about a parent from a single experience. " I realize that.

Sometimes a person's just having a bad day, sometimes they're an asshole all the time. Or at least when they aren't out in public.

I have one feline daughter and that's the way I like it.

[jobycom]

24. I never apologize for scolding or discipline, unless

I misunderstood what they had done. You know, where you scold a kid for not doing something only to discover they did, or that you forgot to tell them to do it, or whatever.

I've so far never gone overboard with my kids. I may snap louder than I mean to, but usually I still agree with the sentiment, and apologies are often misinterpreted as changing your mind, which causes more problems down the line.

And I don't mean to give the impression that I'm harsh or strict, only that there are certain phrases that suit the situation. Say, for instance, my oldest is failing a course and I take away her computer time, she may (and has) said something like "You're too mean!" to which I'll say "You think this is mean, fail again and you'll see what mean is." (That's what I mean by variations. I don't often make my kids cry, though it has happened.)

Parenting isn't always about catching the most flies. Often it's about catching the right fly, and some flies are more effectively caught with vinegar. You have to know your flies. Yuck, I can't believe I just wrote those words! :rofl:

Anyway, my thoughts. I've met very abusive parents who rarely raise their voice or use ridiculous cliches, and I've met many very good parents who might not pass the Lounge tests.

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[TommyO]

19. Given something of their own to cry about!

[Xithras]

21. Bite me. I use it.

One of my kids is a whiner like you wouldn't believe, and has been known to collapse into a pile of sobbing tears for things as minor as not being the one to turn off a light switch when he leaves the room..."SISSY TURNED THE SWITCH OFF!! IT'S NOT FAAAAIIIIIRRRR!!!!"

I have a low tolerance level for whiney children, even if they're my own. Luckily, only one of the three gets whiney with any real frequency.

When my kids hear me say that, they know I mean business. I don't strike my children, but I've been known to impose groundings that would make a prison guard blanch.

[mcctatas]

22. I can honestly say I have never uttered those words

(and if you knew my spawn, you would be really impressed by that). I have however said the following:

"Quit acting like the poster child for birth control"
"You are really lucky human beings don't eat their young"
"Knock it off or I will sell you for chum"

of course these are all mild compared to my mother threatening to "retro-abort" me on facebook!

[TwilightGardener]

27. You've never had a thirteen-year-old boy cry like an infant because

you refused to take him to GameStop to buy him (yet another) new video game, because he's already BORED with the ones he got for Christmas. Oh yeah, I use the saying.

[redqueen]

29. Other: forced to read this book

http://www.amazon.com/Giving-Love-Heals-Harville-Hendrix/dp/0671793993