CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 12:57 AM
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My poem from the open mic tonight: "Hunger" |
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The sperm into the egg The seed roots Down in the dirt And the water, and the sun and The plow work the land
We are hungry Our hunger creates us
The baby at the breast Drinks his mother’s love These will take his hunger And he will live
Hunger for love For life from dust
We reach And need
Our mouths open In our hunger
Our lips and our tongues And our teeth Taking in our life Our strenuous life Our passionate life Where we have come To live
Our cells combine and mingle We live Because we hunger
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NanceGreggs
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Wed Mar-11-09 01:04 AM
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 01:06 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
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Ah, thank you, sweetie...
I'm having so damn much fun with this!
:hug:
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OhioChick
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Wed Mar-11-09 01:06 AM
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2. You're quite talented. |
CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 01:08 AM
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Well, what can I say?
But thank you, of course...
Glad you enjoyed this!
:)
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seaker
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Wed Mar-11-09 01:25 AM
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5. Oh...you made me shiver |
CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 01:29 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
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I hope it was a good shiver...
Thanks for coming by tonight!
:hug:
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redqueen
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Wed Mar-11-09 10:23 AM
Response to Original message |
7. This deserves to be seen by more than just the late-night crowd I think. |
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Edited on Wed Mar-11-09 10:24 AM by redqueen
Love it, Peggy. Especially the end there. Lovely. :)
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 12:47 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
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I thank you!
I was actually getting ready to kick this one myself...
I'm really happy that you enjoyed this one! It was some time in the making, and I'm really happy with it...
:hug:
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ashling
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Wed Mar-11-09 11:02 AM
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 12:48 PM
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10. Ah, thank you so much, my dear ashling! |
Lionel Mandrake
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Wed Mar-11-09 01:43 PM
Response to Original message |
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The split between lines 4 and 5 seems peculiar. I would have expected either "sun/and" or "plow/work". But this is a nit.
I like the poem. "We live/Because we hunger" is fresh and original.
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
12. My dear Lionel Mandrake! |
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I appreciate your criticism...
That's how those lines felt right to me...
So that's how I wrote them down...
Glad you like the poem, overall!
Thanks, sweetie!
:hug:
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Pool Hall Ace
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Wed Mar-11-09 04:14 PM
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13. Hunger is something we all have in common |
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but some of us prosper and some of us suffer. Thank you for the poem! :)
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 05:55 PM
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14. My dear Pool Hall Ace! |
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Yes indeed...
Thank you, sweetie!
:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 10:15 PM
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15. Thanks to whoever gave the recs! |
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I greatly appreciate them...
;)
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suninvited
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Wed Mar-11-09 10:22 PM
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 10:24 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
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I'm so glad you think so!
Thank you...
I had so much fun writing it!
:hug:
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elshiva
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Wed Mar-11-09 10:26 PM
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18. Awesome. Erotic and lovely. |
CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
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I thank you so much, sweetie!
:hug:
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elshiva
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Wed Mar-11-09 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
20. You are welcome! Thank you for sharing your poetry. |
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:hug: :hug: I lurve you. :loveya:
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NYC_SKP
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Wed Mar-11-09 11:24 PM
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The poem speaks to me of things timeless and universal. And of commonalities among all people, indeed among all living things.
A real classic!
Wish I'd been there but thanks for bringing it here!
:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 11:28 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
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I've been trying to write this one for a long time...
I was full of inchoate ideas, unformed, vague, hard to put my finger on.
And then a few days ago, I just sat down, and decided that now was the time.
Thank you so much for your incisive comments, sweetie!
The crowd at the open mic loved it!
:hug:
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NYC_SKP
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Thu Mar-12-09 09:43 AM
Response to Reply #22 |
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I read things into your poem, a little biology, a little psychology. I saw the story of living things and human hearts within it.
I might have written more but typed that out last night on my iPhone in a hospital room while my dad and I waited for a bed to become available. He's suffering from dementia and has to be watched 24/7. Mom and I can't handle what his behaviors have become in just one week.
I looked down at him, with his child-like behaviors, and saw how your poem applies even to him.
From infancy to our dying days we hunger, we seek.
Nourishment.
Recognition.
Dignity.
Respect.
:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
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I am so sorry about your dad...How terrible for all of you.
Your answer last night was so perfect that I had no idea you were in the situation you were...
And you allowed me to impose on you...
Thank you for everything you've said.
I truly appreciate it all...
:hug:
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NYC_SKP
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Thu Mar-12-09 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
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No imposition at all.
In fact, reading your poem made me reflect on my dad lying there.
You made a difference, I felt more compassionate for him, I looked at him differently because of your poem.
That, dear Peggy, is the power of your words.
:toast:
He is a bit better today, more lucid, and has been officially diagnosed with dementia, a form that, for now, may come and go unexpectedly.
He might recover and come home, they are going to try some new meds.
Thank you. :hug:
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av8rdave
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Wed Mar-11-09 11:47 PM
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23. Wow....that connects so many thoughts! |
CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Mar-11-09 11:53 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
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There are a few connections, aren't there?
It's just how it came out of me...
Thanks, sweetie...
:hug:
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bluesbassman
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:35 AM
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You have captured one of life's pimary drives in a most cyclic fashion. Bravo.:applause:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:47 AM
Response to Reply #25 |
27. My dear bluesbassman! |
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Ah, thank you!
The words just show up, and I'm lucky enough to hear them...
:hug:
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PBS Poll-435
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:36 AM
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:49 AM
Response to Reply #26 |
28. My dear PBS Poll-435! |
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Thank you!
I appreciate it...
:hug:
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MissMillie
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:27 PM
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and sensual....
(:( and all I can do is write about food....)
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
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Aw...
You know, I've been writing for several years now, and this stuff doesn't show up fully formed, and ready for publication!
I love your food writings!
It all fits together, and it all works, sweetie...
Thank you for your compliments...:hug:
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trof
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:29 PM
Response to Original message |
32. You're making me hungry. |
CaliforniaPeggy
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #32 |
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LOL!
Well, go eat something, then, silly!
Thanks...
:rofl:
;)
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trof
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Thu Mar-12-09 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #34 |
37. Ah...but food is not all I hunger for. |
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I too hunger for affection and companionship. But not really. I have plenty of both. ;-)
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Tommy_Carcetti
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:46 PM
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35. My dear California Peggy.... |
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...you are quite a talent. Please feel free to post any more of your work here with your friends at the DU Lounge any day.
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Thu Mar-12-09 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #35 |
36. My dear Tommy_Carcetti! |
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Wow, thank you...
And I do post my work from time to time here...
When I think it's good enough.
I normally put these in my Journal...
Have a look, if you wish...
I appreciate your kindness...
:hug:
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