Whew, what a morning. I'm a little shook up.

[LeftyFingerPop]

I brought my garbage to the landfill this morning. I threw everything in the back of my truck, got a coffee on the way, and drove up there.

On the way there, there was this HUGE dead woodchuck in the middle of the road. It is hard to explain, but there were construction barriers on each side of the road, and the woodchuck was impossible to drive around without squishing it, so I stopped the truck, got out, and threw the woodchuck in the back of the truck.

I get to the landfill, drove on the scales, paid and went in.

There are three big dumpsters there, with labels on them. Dumpster #1 is for household garbage, #2 is for construction debris, and #3 is for metal (washers, dryers, etc.).

While I was emptying the garbage from my truck, I noticed this big county worker giving me the eyeball.

I go to throw the dead woodchuck in Dumpster #1, and the guy starts yelling at me.

He goes "HEY! PUT THAT WOODCHUCK IN #3."

I said "But that is for metal".

He walks over, GRABS ME BY THE NECK, and says "JUST DO IT, BITCH!"

The guy was huge, probably 6' 4", 320 pounds, so I sure as hell wasn't going to argue with him.

I just got home, and I'm still shaking. I'm thinking of filing a report or something with the county.

What a fucking morning.

[Marrah_G]

1. Go to the police station RIGHT NOW....

That is assault at the VERY least. Don't "file a complaint with the county". Go to the police station and file a criminal complaint.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Fuck it...I'm pissed...

I'm going back up there.

I'm going to beat the fucker with a shovel.

[Marrah_G]

3. ugh ..............

It's so hard to tell when people are being silly here sometimes.....

[CreekDog]

4. consider the source

:hug:

:hide:

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. I'm not sure I know what you mean by "consider".

[Marrah_G]

13. Yeah yeah.... I wasn't paying attention.

Half asleep and distracted by the AIG crap.

[TZ]

16. Don't worry Marrah_ G

I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not either...:crazy:

[LeftyFingerPop]

24. Do you think I could make up shit like this?

[TZ]

27. Yes!

:rofl:

[LeftyFingerPop]

19. Those AIG bastards should be beat with a shovel.

Just joking, Agent Mike. I'm a pacifist who has fantasies about beating people with shovels.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

48. me too.

that is my favorite current fantasy.

[LeftyFingerPop]

6. Marrah, what do you mean by "people"?

[Marrah_G]

11. A pox on you!

No fair messing with my head before I've finished my first coffee.

[LeftyFingerPop]

14. I already had mine...

:P :hug:

[MicaelS]

10. NO! Then YOU will go to jail, instead of him.

Do exactly has been stated. Drive to the police station and file a criminal complaint for assault.

[LeftyFingerPop]

20. FUCK IT. I DON'T TAKE THAT KIND OF CRAP.

[taterguy]

5. Enforcing landfill rules is not a criminal offense

:eyes:

[LeftyFingerPop]

7. Should I use a pointed, or a flat shovel to beat the guy?

[Chan790]

18. A pointed shovel is a spade.

sincerely,

Chan790, P/T seller of Lawn and Garden equipment.

[LeftyFingerPop]

23. OK. thank you, I will use a spade then.

[Chan790]

33. Actually.

If you're going to assault and probably kill someone with a gardening implement, you might as well choose the right one for the job.



That machete there with the 22" handle is called a sugarcane knife (sometimes called a caneknife).

(Note: This post is a work of absurdism. I'd never recommend assaulting anybody with a caneknife...it makes a bloody mess. Especially so flippantly.)

[LeftyFingerPop]

43. This scares me.

[Chan790]

44. I dropped one at work...

and caught it out of reflex by the blade unfortunately. It's like a razor. I should have let it hit the floor.

I had two layers of stitches across my palm, one on the internally to seal the wound shut and another at the dermal layer to close the surface wound. At least I still have all my fingers.

[petronius]

47. Seriously? That's the difference?

That's the most useful bit of info I've learned all day...

[DemBones DemBones]

9. Grabbing someone by the neck is assault. nt

[LeftyFingerPop]

12. Exactly. That's why I'm going to beat the shit out of him with a shovel.

[DemBones DemBones]

21. That would be assault, too. Quit

while you're ahead and file charges, if it's for real.

[LeftyFingerPop]

26. It's NOT assault, it's self defense. The guy is bigger than me...WAY bigger.

[taterguy]

17. Did you read the fucking thread

In every jurisdiction that I know of, landfill workers have the right and duty to ensure that the landfills don't get contaminated. Even if that means taking extraordinary measures.

[LeftyFingerPop]

22. Why the fuck would you mix a dead woodchuck with old washing machines?

[DemBones DemBones]

28. To clean it?

:evilgrin:

[LeftyFingerPop]

30. Don't be silly. The washers do not operate.

[DemBones DemBones]

25. Yes, I read the fucking thread and I disagree that

a landfill worker can grab someone by the neck for any reason.

[LeftyFingerPop]

29. They are terrible up there...they get paid $25 an hour, and they abuse people.

[taterguy]

34. The reason is to prevent jack-offs from randomly dumping toxic shit in the landfill

Don't you think polluters should be held accountable?

[Chan790]

36. Yes.

That's why when I caught that guy pouring used motor oil in the Hudson River last week I shot him down like the dog he was...then I fingerpainted.

Actually, I just enjoy fingerpainting.

[taterguy]

40. Shooting a dog is no laughing matter

Someone shot this guy once.

It happened long before I met him so I have no idea who did it or why.

I just know that his backside is full of buck shot and that he shakes uncontrollably whenever there's a loud noise like a thunderstorm

[Chan790]

42. I apologize...

I'd never shoot a dog. It was just the first turn of phrase that came to mind.

Now, of course, 15 other good turns-of-phrase come to mind.

[Marrah_G]

15. Shouldn't you be off planning your coup of the entire world with Midlo?

[Midlodemocrat]

31. Oh, please. Like we need to plan.

:eyes:

:rofl:

[CreekDog]

35. You know what?

I think CCR is pictured in Lefty's avatar. :think:

[LeftyFingerPop]

37. Nope, it's these people...

The Grateful Dead

[elshiva]

49. I should have guessed that, but I thought that the guy

in the lower right was Mark Twain. :hi:

[LeftyFingerPop]

50. That's Bill the Drummer, Billy the K...

William Kreutzmann (if I spelled his name correctly) :hi:

[elshiva]

51. Thanks, but you have to understand when Billy the K's head

is shrunk into an avatar he looks a bit like Mark Twain with that mustache. I love the mustache. Nice avatar. :) :hi: :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

32. That happened to me once, but I shot the guy.

Salted his bones and burned him. :thumbsup:

[Strong Atheist]

38. Wow. That's terrible! Call the police. nt.

[Dr. Strange]

39. I love how you conveniently left off the fact that you weren't wearing pants.

It's just so much easier to blame Baron von Landfill, isn't it?

[Rosie1223]

41. If you go back, take that guy from the bus stop with you.

He sounds like he would make an excellent wing man.

[rug]

45. This is exactly why I rarely go upstate.

[Kali]

46. godammit

now my screen is all dirty again and the cats are freaked out from the noise