|
The following are two sets of quotes from some great movies (some of my favorites). Guess which movies they are from. Googling is cheating. Movie 1: Quote a: "Big Bob: "Up until now everything around here has been, well, pleasant. Recently certain things have become unpleasant. Now, it seems to me that the first thing we have to do is to separate out the things that are pleasant from the things that are unpleasant." Quote b: "Skip: Mary Sue, it's better this way!
Jennifer: This is the only book I've ever read in my whole life, and you're not going to put it on that fire! "
Movie 2:
Quote a:
Captain: Carl, see that the Major gets a good table, one close to the ladies.
Carl: I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway.
Quote b:
Captain: In 1935, you ran guns to Ethiopia. In 1936, you fought in Spain, on the Loyalist side.
Rick: I got well paid for it on both occasions.
Captain: The winning side would have paid you much better."
Movie 3:
Quote a: Pink: Are there any queers in the theater tonight? Get 'em up against the wall! That one in the spotlight, he don't look right! Get him up against the wall! And that one looks Jewish... and that one's a coon! Who let all this riff raff into the room? That one's smoking a joint! And that one's got spots! If I had my way, I'd have all of you shot!
Quote b: Judge Arse: The evidence before the court is incontrivertible, there's no need for the jury to retire! In all my years of judging, I have never heard before some one more deserving of the full penalty of law! The way you made them suffer, your exquisite wife and mother, fills me with the urge to DEFECATE!
Movie 4:
Quote a:
Dr. Barnhardt: Tell me, Hilda, does all this frighten you? Does it make you feel insecure?
Hilda: Yes, sir, it certainly does.
Dr. Barnhardt: That's good, Hilda. I'm glad.
Quote b:
Reporter: I suppose you are just as scared as the rest of us.
Klaatu: In a different way, perhaps. I am fearful when I see people substituting fear for reason.
Movie 5:
Quote a:
The Amazing Criswell at beginning of movie: “Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal.”
Quote b:
Criswell at end of movie: “My friend, you have seen this incident, based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn't happen?
Clue - It was the winner of the Golden Turkey Award, for the all-time worst movie in history.
Movie 6:
Quote a: Martin: People gotta talk themselves into law and order before they do anything about it. Maybe because down deep they don't care. They just don't care.
Quote b: Martin: You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If you're honest you're poor your whole life and in the end you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star.
Clue - this movie was inspired by McCarthyism. Ronald Reagan said it was UnAmerican.
Movie 7:
Quote a:
Charles: You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn't been very rich, I might have been a really great man.
Thatcher: Don't you think you are?
Charles: I think I did pretty well under the circumstances.
Thatcher: What would you like to have been?
Charles: Everything you hate.
Quote b:
Boss Jim Gettys: “You're the greatest fool I've ever known. If it was anybody else, I'd say what's going to happen to you would be a lesson to you. Only you're going to need more than one lesson. And you're going to get more than one lesson.”
Movie 8:
'Butch': You know, Phillip, you have a goddamned red, white and blue American right to eat cotton candy and ride roller coasters.
Hint that involved a kid raised as a Jehovah's Witness.
Movie 9:
Quote a:
State Senator Briggs: It's time to root them out.
Tom: And how are you going to determine who's a homosexual?
State Senator Briggs: My bill outlines procedures for identifying homosexuals.
Tom: How? Will you be sucking them off?
Quote b:
Harvey: “All men are created equal. No matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words. “
Movie 10:
Quote a:
Engineer: “Computer. Computer?
(Handed a mouse and he speaks into it.)
Engineer: Hello, computer.
Nichols: Just use the keyboard.
Engineer: A Keyboard. How quaint.”
Quote b:
Russian to a Street Cop “Excuse me, sir! Can you direct us to the naval base in Alameda? It's where they keep the nuclear wessels.”
Movie 11:
Quote a:
Captain: “Ahh, but the strawberries that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't
of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers...
Quote b:
Lt. Keefer: "There is no escape from the Caine, save death. We're all doing penance, sentenced to an outcast ship, manned by outcasts, and named after the greatest outcast of them all."
Movie 12:
Quote a:
Butch: “What happened to the old bank? It was beautiful.”
Bank Guard: “People kept robbing it.”
Butch: “Small price to pay for beauty.”
Quote b:
Butch: If he'd just pay me what he's spending to make me stop robbing
him, I'd stop robbing him.
Movie 13:
Quote a:
Narrator: The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.
Quote b:
Pvt. Bowers: There was a time when reading wasn't just for fags. And neither was writing. People wrote books and movies. Movies with stories, that made you care about whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!
Movie 14:
Quote a:
Walken, the Boss: Every empire is summed up in Rome. The Romans, Hauser,
dudes of the human race, torchbearers of culture! You and I are
centurions, on about to defend civilization against the barbarians!
Hauser: Let's cut the shit, Walken! I like killing people as much as the next guy, but I signed up to kill the bad ones! Health clinics, trade unionist, journalists, agricultural coops, catholic liberation
theologians, impoverished Colombian coffee farmers, these are the barbarians that are brave opponents of civilization? We turned Central America into a fuckin' graveyard! Whoever momentarily interrupts the accumulation of our wealth, we pulverize! I'm just not feeling good
about that anymore, sir!
Quote b:
Natalie the Reporter: Tell me about yourself?
Hauser: I'm just doing this gig, trying to make the best of a bad
situation, looking for redemption in all the wrong places. Stop me now
if I'm rambling.
Natalie the Reporter: Okay, stop.
--
Movie 15:
Quote a:
Vivian: Oh, this is my friend Libby. She thinks you're a genius. Libby just did a definitive cinematic study of Gummo Marx. She did!
Dick: Interestingly, he's the one Marx brother that never made any movies.
Quote b:
Bates: But shouldn't I stop making movies and do something thatcounts, like-like helping blind people or becoming a missionary or something?
Martian: Let me tell you, you're not the missionary type. You'd never last. And-and incidentally, you're also not Superman; you're a comedian. You want to do mankind a real service? Tell funnier jokes.
---
Movie 16:
Quote a:
British Air Force Capt. Mandrake: Colonel... that Coca-Cola machine. I want you to shoot the lock off it. There may be some change in there.
US Colonel Guano: That's private property.
Mandrake: Colonel! Can you possibly imagine what is going to happen to you, your frame, outlook, way of life, and everything, when they learn that you have obstructed a telephone call to the President of the United States? Can you imagine? Shoot it off! That's what the bullets are for, you twit!
Guano: Okay. I'm gonna get your money for ya. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?
Mandrake: What?
Guano: You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
Quote b:
General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr.: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Ambassador: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor." |
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
