A DU Lounge creative writing contest in honor of Chuggo Week.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Please create a very short story that is Chuggo-centric, and include in said story all of the following themes/elements/phrases:

The Washington Nationals
circumcision
Narwhals
soulless purebred dogs
Batshit insane Glenn Beck
"an insensitive, fairly uncomplex idiot"
Rachel Ray
libree
teabagging

Extra credit will be given to any DUer who includes any additional DU Lounge flamewar topics not mentioned above.

Unlike last year, submissions need not be limited to a compound-complex sentence. However, all stories must have a proper denouement, or else they will be disqualified.

I look forward to all entries with great excitement.

Winner gets standard Toyota/ten bucks prize. All other entries will receive a proper consolation prize.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

1. C'mon fuckin' lounge!

Somebody's gotta bite.

(Although topic #1 is now off the table due to the recent TZ-Tommy_Carcetti accords. That is all)

[TZ]

2. Okay

One day Chuggo was listening to that Batshit Crazy insane Glen Beck on TV rattle on about how he thought Narwhals were mythical animals when he thought..you know, I think I need to have my soulless purebread Golden Retriever RR..(named after Rachel Ray) circumcised. Because RR went on a recent rampage near the local libree where he attempted to teabag some smaller female dogs.
He went to the vet to make the appointment for RR. The vet tech, an insensitive fairly uncomplex idiot named Peter told him.."Hey doofus..male dogs get neutered NOT circumcsied". Embarreassed Chuggo said thats what he wanted.
The next day RR came home a neutered and better behaved dog whose embarrasing teabagging days were over.
The end.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

4. Always good, TZ, always good.

[spinbaby]

3. Try this one on for size

Batshit insane Glenn Beck while walking his souless purebred dog, ran into Rachel Ray who was sneaking out of the Olive Garden. "Why Rachel," the batshit-insane one exclaimed, "Won't you invite me on your very perky show to talk about how global warming is actually good for Narwhals?"

"Sorry," said Rachel, "We're booked up with shows about circumcision and breastfeeding, and you are an insensitive, fairly uncomplex idiot for even asking."

"But," the disappointed, the batshit-insane one said, "whatever makes you say I'm insensitive?"

"Well," said Rachel Ray, "To begin with, you might have gone to the libree to look up the meaning of teabagging before getting your poor ignorant listeners all worked up about the idea. "

[Tommy_Carcetti]

5. I like it.

Wait, didn't you win last year though?

[TZ]

6. Hold on. I think spinbaby is DQ'd..

no Chuggo reference.

[spinbaby]

7. Who's Chuggo?

[TZ]

8. !

:popcorn:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

9. Oh dear.

Oh dear.

Off to re-education camp, my friend. Bring the mosquito netting while you are at it.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

10. Bump for the after lunch crowd. nt