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he received it in his email. I have no idea who to give credit to for it:
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world
without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world,
because they'd never expect it.
If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon
it. There's got to be a better way.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava,
let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying
a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That
way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey,
look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started
laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just
say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering
iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and
ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of
justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets
its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time
you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.
Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a
direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You
pull and you pull, but you can't get the rock out of the
ground. So you give it a good kick, but you lose your
balance and go skidding down the hill toward the pool. Then
out comes a big Hawaiian man who was screwing his wife
beside the pool because they thought it was real pretty. He
tells you to get out of there, but you start faking it,
like you're talking Hawaiian, and then he gets mad and
chases you...
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