BeachBaby
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:36 AM
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I'm wondering if they work. If both parties are in agreement to the arrangement, can the marriage survive for the long term?
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La Lioness Priyanka
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:38 AM
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1. yes, they do but both people have to really agree by what they mean by open |
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and be the right type of people for it.
sometimes i think one partner convinces the other that openness is healthy for them both, when thats not the case
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Midlodemocrat
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:47 AM
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2. I think you're right. It certainly wouldn't work for me or Mr. |
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although I did have a dream about DS1 last night. :scared:
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BeachBaby
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:49 AM
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4. This post is useless without details. |
Midlodemocrat
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:51 AM
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7. Would totally get your thread locked. He's probably hurling as he reads this. |
supernova
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:52 AM
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8. It must have involved mayonnaise |
Shell Beau
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:52 AM
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10. Oooh!! Very very interesting!! |
Shell Beau
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:54 AM
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12. I am sure they can work. I have a hard time understanding it though. |
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Edited on Tue Apr-21-09 11:02 AM by Shell Beau
Just because it wouldn't work for me. But, we are all so different and want different things in relationships, so if both parties are for really for it, then it can work. But both have to be REALLY for it.
Edit: I am an IDIOT! I meant to respond to the OP and not to myself! :blush:
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skygazer
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:27 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
17. Talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence |
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Or at least, I always tell myself that. :P
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hobbit709
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Tue Apr-21-09 12:02 PM
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22. Talking to yourself is OK |
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Having losing arguments with yourself is a different story.
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Dr. Strange
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:09 AM
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I had a dream involving TZ and B2.
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BeachBaby
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:25 AM
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16. That's not how I roll, babe. |
supernova
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:50 AM
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both people have to be of the same mindset and be open about whatever conditions are set.
It wouldn't work for me, I'm a one man kinda woman, but bully for others who want to go for it.
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La Lioness Priyanka
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:53 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
11. it would work for me, it wouldnt for lisa, so as a couple we dont |
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but i can understand how one sees the emotional fidelity as seperate from the sexual fidelity
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MissMillie
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:48 AM
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but for me, I don't understand: if one is going to have an "open marriage"..., why bother getting married?
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La Lioness Priyanka
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:52 AM
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9. to some people the emotional fidelity is important and the sexual fidelity is not |
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historically, polygamy and polyandry have existed in marriages.
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flvegan
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:50 AM
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5. No idea. I'm usually long gone before the husband finds out. |
RadiationTherapy
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Tue Apr-21-09 10:57 AM
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13. Anything is possible, but I am very cynical about the potential of most. |
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Edited on Tue Apr-21-09 10:58 AM by RadiationTherapy
My first thought being, those who are truly comfortable about it don't ask the question in the OP.
I agree mostly with Lioness; that if a person is "convinced" then it is unhealthy. I just want to add that I think this is more often the case then not. I also have seen this idea quite a bit in people who want to seem like they are "cool" about casual sex.
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TZ
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:04 AM
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14. hmm I need to tread carefully here. |
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But if one is involved in a "trophy" marriage..where one is married to someone for appearances or for some other reason...perhaps then an open marriage is healthy. I have a relative who admitted he got married because it was considered the thing to do and that his spouse was of the same mind...and that they were better friends than lovers...I've never been brave enough to dig for details but I suspect they had an open marriage. I believe part of the reason they married was to satisfy certain members of both mine and her family...They ended up divorcing but staying good friends. They were tired of maintaining the deception.
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Deep13
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:31 AM
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18. Makes sense in theory, but it is hard to imagine working in practice. |
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Jealousies and feelings of rejection are likely to creep in.
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Lyric
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:35 AM
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19. Only if all people involved honestly want it. |
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Any kind of relationship dynamic can work if all people involved are comfortable with it and want it. In practice, I've noticed that closed poly relationships tend to last longer than totally open ones, though.
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Jokerman
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:38 AM
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20. "We had an open marriage... |
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I just could never find the right time or place to tell my wife that we had an open marriage."
Sorry, just couldn't resist repeating an old "Kids in the Hall" joke.
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DFW
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Tue Apr-21-09 11:59 AM
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As I am rather ecstatically happy with my wife, even after 35 years together, I'm not about to endanger things anyway. I guess I'd be slightly curious, but I'm content to read about it in third party accounts, factual or otherwise.
(When you hit the jackpot the first time, why continue to gamble?)
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Nikia
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Tue Apr-21-09 08:20 PM
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23. Even if the husband and wife are alright with it |
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The other people involved can be a problem. While it is true that some people would enjoy "just sex" with a married person, many sex partners might want more and cause complications even if the married people intend to put the marriage first.
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supernova
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Tue Apr-21-09 08:24 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
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that wanted me to be a "spare."
I learned over the course of three dates that he was 1/2 splitting with his main squeeze of 30 years and that they "were going to try and 'open' relationship."
I'm really not positive that the former MS was cool with the idea at all. But, I dropped him like a hot potato. I have no wish to be in a little Peyton Place.
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