So, there I was, running through the house at top speed, with the machete, wearing only panties.

[Jamastiene]

Who else can say that and have it be 100%* the truth?

What a weekend I had. :wow:

*A snake got in the house and my aunt told me to come fast and bring the machete. I won. :evilgrin:

[flvegan]

1. TTIWWP.

Preferably pics from the front and back. Yes, that'll be just fine.

[dana_b]

2. haha!

I don't think that I have the same motivation as you, but I'll bet that would have been quite a sight!

[Jamastiene]

8. I keep picturing a side view of me with the machete over my head

while I was running. I held it up in the air until I got to the room. I didn't want to accidentally hit one of my cats on the way. It wouldn't have cut them. It needs to be sharpened very badly. It's beyond dull.

My step dad, my step brother and I are now debating on whether it was a rat snake or a pine snake. I think it was a rat snake. My step brother says it was a pine snake. That's far better than what my step dad thought it was at first. At first, he thought it was a copperhead. The bad news is that rat snakes and pine snakes have been known to hibernate in dens with rattlesnakes and copperheads. That's not good news at all.

Now, I am officially glad I never got one of those snake skin guitar cables that were all the rage a few years back. I would have already had a heart attack since the other night. Yogi's tail brushed across me last night and I almost went through the ceiling. So, now, I'm sleeping on the couch with the machete beside me. What a sight that is too. :rofl:

I was so scared. Normally, I will leave any snakes outside alone completely. That freaked me out though. He went behind some boxes in my aunt's room then poked his head back out and stared me in the eyes though. The thought that went through my mind at that point was animals do the stare down thing as a fight response. I liked his first action when I ran into the room; hiding behind the boxes, a flight response. I did not like him coming back out and staring me in the eyes like that; a fight response. :wow:

[siligut]

22. I agree with you about the fight response, and you acted valiantly.

Possibly the snake didn’t take you to be the threat you are because of the panties, ya think?

[Jamastiene]

27. I showed him.

Panty Power! :rofl:

[Moondog]

37. Sharpen your machete -

better for you, better for the snake.

[Jamastiene]

39. Yep, it needs it.

I honestly didn't expect any snakes to come inside. For a while, there was a little too much growth right up next to the house for my taste. So, I got that all cut for the very purpose of keeping snakes out of the house. It seems they chose AFTER we took steps to keep them out to come inside. You are right.

I need to sharpen the machete and be ready.

[arcadian]

3. I would like pics as well

And per haps a phone number.

[azmouse]

4. I beat a small snake to death with my husband's sneaker.

It was either the snake or me and it wasn't gonna be me. My husband was away on a business trip when I saw the snake in the house. I wasn't staying there alone at night with a snake so I chased it down and killed but luckily I had on more than panties! :hi:

[Jamastiene]

9. I normally leave them alone if they are outside.

When I am inside, though, the rules completely change. I do have some guilt, but I'm unbitten. :)

[HopeHoops]

5. Every day stuff, that.

We have days like that too. Don't feel weird.

[Jamastiene]

12. I'm sure glad I'm not the only one.

:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

23. Dancing naked with a salad shooter.

You know, just the normal boring stuff.

[auntAgonist]

6. and here I thought belladonna was chasing YOU

with a diaper :) (kidding of course, see link)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=8796356&mesg_id=8796356

[Jamastiene]

13. Now, THAT would be funny.

Me running around half nekkid with the machete and belladonna chasing me with a diaper. You can't make this kind of stuff up. :rofl:

[jeff30997]

20. ROFL!

Just imagining that scene is totally hilarious ! :rofl:

Maybe a silent movie with piano music.Lol.

[DarkTirade]

7. Awww, the poor little reptile.

Although I suppose if you have to go, that's not the worst last thing to see. :P

[Jamastiene]

14. He sure was getting a good look at me.

At first, he went behind some boxes, then turned around, came back, and stared me down. The last thing he saw was me ala an X Rated half nekkid Xena Warrior Princess with the machete over my head like a sword. :rofl:

[DarkTirade]

42. Well, since its okay for the kids to see violence, that would have only been PG-13 or R rated.

Boobies bad, violence okay. :P

[Sky Masterson]

10. So we are supposed to just take your word for it?

:hid:

[Jamastiene]

11. Hehehe

My step dad had to use his key to come inside. He had to try to help and cover me, literally, at the same time. It was a hilariously terrifying night. :rofl:

[Sky Masterson]

17. I bet

Still it's good to document these things via film.:P

[TrogL]

41. that actually sounds fairly nasty

[TZ]

15. hmmm

Well this is almost as amusing as the anecdote you told about the lizard that was crawling all over you ...You have interesting stories...:rofl:

[Jamastiene]

34. I have interesting flora and fauna where I live.

It seems as if they all want to live here for some odd reason. And they can't seem to take their eyes or their paws off me...at least I think that's what you call a lizard's hands. :shrug: :P

[Dr. Strange]

16. Soon to be a SciFi Original movie.

:woohoo:

[TZ]

19. A Dr. Strange production no doubt.

:)

[Dr. Strange]

21. It'll have to go on the back burner.

I'm currently working on the latest installment of Tales of WTFery. Then I need to work on my vampire novel. Maybe after that I can work on the script for "Snakes in House of Jamastiene."

[Kali]

18. I don't know what happened to my machete, but I am one that could say that.

and be chasing a snake. Or a skunk, squirrel, or kangaroo rat.

Oh and sometimes I'm running around with my transparent darth vader mask on (yank the hose off the cpap and jump out of bed to find out whatever it is...)

You ain't so unique Ms. Jamastiene!:P

[Jamastiene]

26. Maybe we should make a movie.

:rofl:

[Kali]

31. Knickers and Knives?

:spray: :rofl: :rofl:

[DS1]

24. That was a cool French movie

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338095/


good thing you didn't hack off a nipple during all that running and jiggling (not a spoiler, just pointing that out)

[Jamastiene]

28. That would have been very painful...

for me. I'm just glad I was able to saw back and forth enough until my step dad arrived with a blanket and the water turner offer thingy to rescue me. He just grabbed the first thing he saw that might work to subdue a monstrous snake*.

*I said it monstrous and winning the battle because I wanted help faster. :rofl:

[DS1]

30. You mean a pipe wrench? Is that the water turner offer?

[Jamastiene]

32. It's shaped like a capital T with a funky little

"u" shape at the bottom of the T. Is that it?

Here we go. It's called a Water Meter Key:

[Dogtown]

25. My religion *requires* such behavior

it's a sacrament...

[Jamastiene]

29. Hmm...

Must learn about your religion. :evilgrin:

[Dogtown]

33. "Communion"

is nachos & Corona...

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

35. About these panties ...

Were they the sissy pink panties?

Or the tactical black panties?

Or the badassed camo panties?

It's been said before, but "this thread is useless without ..." uh, you know ...

:hi:

Anyway, congratulations on your win!

[Jamastiene]

38. They were plain white bikini briefs.

I go simple when it comes to undies. :P

[Broken_Hero]

36. Good work,

I had a similar instance, but I wasn't wearing panties, I was in shorts, and was using a flat head shovel, the snake was a copperhead, who would not take a hint....

[Jamastiene]

40. Copperheads are bad around this area too.

We have a bunch of venomous and non venomous snakes in my county. Apparently, NC leads the nation in snake bites every year and one woman died last year from a rattlesnake bite AFTER going to the hospital, then being released and sent back home.

I think I know why we have so many snake bites in this state. We have so many snakes. The weird thing is, I have seen snakes outside the house before and didn't have that same reaction. Outside, they took off in the opposite direction and so did I. That works beautifully most of the time, when they'll do that. Then there are those like you dealt with. They just won't take a hint.

The water moccasins here will chase you, literally, from your own house. A friend of mine had to start carrying a gun just to get inside his house when he got home from work one summer. They had holed up in the lake behind where he lived at the time. They decided his house was part of their territory. They literally chased him away from his own front porch one evening when he got home from work.

Those types of snakes want to be bad ass and fight for some odd reason. Then again, with the venomous ones, I can see why. They stand a chance at actually "winning." Copperheads can take you down pretty hard. I'd be extra careful with them. They might not kill you, but they'll make you wonder if death would have been better if they do bite you.