What Is the Cheesiest Song Ever Released?

[Mr. Ected]

Billy Don't Be A Hero? The Night Chicago Died? Anything in the Celine Dion library?

[suninvited]

1. Achy Breaky Heart? NT

[MrSlayer]

2. Feelings.

Ugh.

[woo me with science]

48. yeah. nt

[KamaAina]

3. Quite possibly this '80s classic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HrSN7176XI

[datasuspect]

4. stay awhile

Into my room he creeps
Without making a sound
Into my dreams he peeps
With his hair all long and hanging down

How he makes me quiver
How he makes me smile
With all this love I have to give him
I guess I'm gonna stay with him awhile

She brushes the curls from my eyes
She drops her robe on the floor
And she reaches for the light on the bureau
And the darkness is her pillow once more

How she makes me quiver
How she makes me smile
With all this love I have to give her
I guess I'm gonna stay with her awhile



How it makes me quiver
How it makes me smile
With all this love I have to give you
Guess I'm gonna stay with you awhile

How it makes me quiver
How it makes me smile
With all this love I have to give you
Guess I'm gonna stay with you awhile

Stay with you awhile


I guess I'm gonna stay


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxwSIu_dNjs

[flvegan]

5. Either "Muenster Mash", or "We're Nacho Gonna Take It".

[Mr. Ected]

8. Please Cut the Cheese References

Clever, though!

[backtoblue]

6. Pork and Beans - Weezer

They say
I need some Rogaine
To put in my hair
Uhmmm, uhmmm
Work it out at the gym
To fit my underwear
Uhmmm, uhmmm
Oakley makes the shades
That transform a tool
Uhmmm, uhmmm
You’d hate
For the kids to think
That you lost your cool
Uhmmm, uhmmm

I’mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain’t got a thing
To prove to you
I’ll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I’m finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot
About what you think

Everyone likes to dance
To a happy song
Uhmmm, uhmmm
With a catchy chorus and beat
So they can sing along
Uhmm, hey, hey
Timbaland knows the way
To reach the top of the charts
Uhmmm, uhmmm
Maybe if I work with him
I can perfect the art
Uhmmm, uhmmm

I’mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain’t got a thing
To prove to you
I’ll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I’m finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot
About what you think

No, I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care

I’mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain’t got a thing
To prove to you
I’ll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I’m finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot
About what you think
About what you think
About what you think

[jobycom]

11. But the video is a masterpiece.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muP9eH2p2PI

[backtoblue]

17. So, ok

the video actually makes me kind of like the song a little bit more. ( I say reluctantly through squinted eyes....) :-)

[jobycom]

20. I don't think I've ever heard the song on its own.

My kid turned me on to the video, so that's about the only way I've watched it.

[Quantess]

58. The lyrics are funny, and yes, very cheesy / corny

They say I need some rogaine to put in my hair
Workin out at the gym to fit my underwear
Oakley makes the shades to transform a tool
Would hate for the kids to think that you had lost your cool


Edit: whoops I see backtoblue already posted the lyrics.

[Kerrytravelers]

7. John Ashcroft: Let the Eagles Soar.

Makes my ears bleed just thinking about that crap pile of notes and faux patriotism

[Jamastiene]

101. I can't top this.

You win.

[jobycom]

9. Tom Sawyer.

Seriously, do these lyrics really seem deep to anyone?

A modern-day warrior
Mean mean stride,
Todays tom sawyer
Mean mean pride.

Though his mind is not for rent
,
Dont put him down as arrogant.
His reserve, a quiet defense,
Riding out the days events.
The river

And what you say about his company
Is what you say about society.
Catch the mist, catch the myth
Catch the mystery, catch the drift.

The world is, the world is,
Love and life are deep,
Maybe as his eyes are wide.

Todays tom sawyer,
He gets high on you,
And the space he invades
He gets by on you.

No, his mind is not for rent
To any God or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent,
He knows changes arent permanent,
But change is.

And what you say about his company
Is what you say about society.
Catch the witness, catch the wit,
Catch the spirit, catch the spit.

The world is, the world is,
Love and life are deep,
Maybe as his skies are wide.

Exit the warrior,
Todays tom sawyer,
He gets high on you,
And the energy you trade,
He gets right on to the friction of the day.

[TZ]

14. BOOO.

I can't wait till the Doctor finds this...

[jobycom]

19. Why, do yo need him to explain the concepts of banality and pretention?

Not to mention, weak literary allusion?

[Quantess]

60. So the lyrics are silly. I agree.

But it's great music, and I am not afraid to say so.
Not everyone likes Rush, I know. Rush is for people with selective taste in music.

[TZ]

102. Plus not all of Rush's songs have silly lyrics either

Some of them are quite serious and powerful...(See Red Sector A)

[madinmaryland]

69. Agreed!

[mikeytherat]

10. Honey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MSoHcxEk9s

mikey_the_rat

[Z_I_Peevey]

107. Watching Scotty Grow--honorable mention

in the Bobby Goldsboro Cheese category

[mikeytherat]

110. "Watching Scotty Grow" is actually the worse of the two songs, but gets a slight nod from me

for an early (Season 3) Simpson's reference.

Bottom line: either song makes an effective ipecac.

mikey_the_rat

[Lyric]

12. Lots of contenders--would depend on what you like/dislike.

For me, it's this 1990 rap cheeseball:

"Knockin' Boots" - Candyman

And anything, ANYTHING by Vanilla Ice. And that Snow fuckwad. And Shaggy. Bleh.

Edit: the video-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q76IlF5HES0

[gbate]

13. This one and yes, I have it on my ipod.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfm-17pu6SQ

[billyoc]

37. Oh, NOOOOOOOO!!!

[LWolf]

79. .

Most of this thread is a testament to my youth, but THIS one I truly have not thought of in at least 3 decades....yet I still remember every verse.

:rofl:

[TZ]

15. Oh come on: Muskrat Love.

Is there anything even close?

[JBoy]

43. That's what came to mind for me too.

[hibbing]

83. me three

Hi,
Hehe, I was wondering how long I would have to scroll down before this steaming pile of limburger showed up. Good call!

Peace

[no_hypocrisy]

16. The Pina Colada Song

[Sugarcoated]

90. That

and Afternoon Delight



I really like this version, though

http://tiny.cc/BJAn7

[OmahaBlueDog]

18. "I've Never Been to Me"

by Charlene

[GoddessOfGuinness]

92. Oh yeah.

That one's seriously lame-ass.

[mitchum]

21. "Yesterday"

[Moondog]

22. Anything by Barry Manilow.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

23. "Lover Why" by Century. 80's Europop.

http://www.imeem.com/andrikassapi/music/fX_8GInY/century-lover-why/

[BarenakedLady]

24. Do They Know It's Christmas

[foxfeet]

25. "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka

[RebelOne]

106. That's the first title that came to my mind. I hated that song. n/t

[pokerfan]

26. Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band

I win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A81fwLNklSM

[KansDem]

32. Man! Now I have that tune going through my head!

Probably all weekend!

Extra scotch for me tonight!

[Moondog]

38. The movie "PCU" had a memorable scene involving "Afternoon Delight".

As for extra scotch - any little excuse works for me!

[ForeverWonderful]

27. Any Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus song ever recorded.

[NYCGirl]

28. "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro.

God, I hated that song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_O_KePRKfY

[Moondog]

39. I had, until now, successfully repressed all memories of that POS.

I was once trapped in a car on a long distance trip when it was popular, and it seemed as though I was subjected to it about every 20 minutes or so. I really hated that song. I still do.

[frogmarch]

29. Teen Angel

That fateful night the car was stalled
upon the railroad track
I pulled you out and we were safe
but you went running back

Teen angel, can you hear me
Teen angel, can you see me
Are you somewhere up above
And I am still your own true love

What was it you were looking for
that took your life that night
They said they found my high school ring
clutched in your fingers tight

Teen angel, can you hear me
Teen angel, can you see me
Are you somewhere up above
And I am still your own true love

Just sweet sixteen, and now you're gone
They've taken you away.
I'll never kiss your lips again
They buried you today

Teen angel, can you hear me
Teen angel, can you see me
Are you somewhere up above
And I am still your own true love
Teen angel, teen angel, answer me, please

[TheCentepedeShoes]

56. Awww, now you

just ruined my 6th grade year
:cry: All us sappy 12 year olds were crazy about that song

But didn't someone up the ante later with a song about a girl killed in a plane crash?

[frogmarch]

81. i was an 8th grader, and my friends and I

thought it was dorky. Of course, living in a town in the Nebraska sandhills that had a real stoplight, we considered ourselves quite sophisticated. :-)

I haven't ever heard a song about a girl killed in a plane crash. I'm glad I haven't.

[nomorenomore08]

30. Someone upthread mentioned Snow:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D39Lm_HRfOs

Yeah, sure, I really believe he's gonna "licky-boom-boom down" on some dastardly police informants... :eyes:

[Doc_Technical]

31. All these songs are wonderfully bad.

I'll nominate Peter Rabbit, a blast from the 60's.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgQ7gDaU1Oc

[rucky]

33. Someone Left a Cake Out in the Rain

[raccoon]

111. "Macarthur Park." I hate that one too. nt

[KansDem]

34. "Gonna Hire a Wino..."

GONNA HIRE A WINO TO DECORATE MY HOME

I don't know. Now that I've hear it again (after 25 years) it's kinda catchy! :D

[Quantess]

63. I would like to know how many weddings he was asked to play at.

He's a one man band, so more than 10 weddings, I would safely guess.

[whistler162]

35. Simple

http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/ontopofspaghetti.html



On Top of Spaghetti



On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze.



Back to Index

[Glorfindel]

36. "Only Women Bleed" - Alice Cooper

n/t

[datasuspect]

45. "You and Me"

Alice Cooper

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMzIBNlXLwc

[RandomThoughts]

40. I like this one, in part because it matches my parents names.

But also because of some old friends that are like bodyguards :)

You Can Call Me Al - Paul Simon
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=13437634119

[Quantess]

41. Watermelon Nights

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AexPuBei-Hk

[RandomThoughts]

49. I see you have thrown down the gauntlet on crazy songery

But Sir I take up that challenge, for your mental mushing watermellon song, is no competition for

cheesburgers clowns and scary inuendo of the vegtables!!!!!

duh duh duh dumb

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmIKR458M0A

[Quantess]

51. That's a good one too!

That one has a cohesive story, where the Watermelon Song is just inane.

[RandomThoughts]

53. I thought the first part was perfect for a putting it into a challenge setting also

Where the lady comments on the previous song. Just a joke though, I actually don't like that song much, to many negatives in it. But it was funny, which was the only intent :)

Glad you liked it :)

Edit: It even had a chainsaw sound in the background. :rofl:

[Quantess]

66. That asparagus music teacher was no "lady".

He wears a bow tie, just like Tucker Carlson.
Edit: But yeah, I liked it. :D

[RandomThoughts]

75. yea I can't argue with the lady part, but the bow tie is to common to

assign any type of correlation.

[billyoc]

42. You'll rue the day you started this thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AfXznngjGw

Go ahead, start rue-ing!

[Mr. Ected]

44. Playground In My Mind...by the inimitable Clint Holmes

I wonder if little Michael ever grew up and tried to buy crack with that nickel.

[woo me with science]

46. You light up my life. nt

[woo me with science]

47. Wind Beneath My Wings nt

[Mike 03]

50. "Billy Don't Be A Hero" is VERY high on my list but "Playground in My Mind" is tops

By a guy named Clint Holmes


When this old world gets me down
And there's no love to be found
I close my eyes and soon I find
I'm in a playground in my mind
Where the children laugh and the children play
And we sing a song all day

"My name is Michael, I got a nickel
I got a nickel, shiny and new
I'm gonna buy me all kinds of candy
That's what I'm gonna do"

See the little children
Living in a world that I left behind
Happy little children
In the playround in my mind

Oh the wonders that I find
In the playground in my mind
In a world that used to be
Close your eyes and follow me
Where the children laugh and the children play
And we sing a song all day

"My girl is Cindy
When we get married, we're gonna have a baby or two
We're gonna let them visit their grandma
That's what we're gonna do"

"My name is Cindy
When we get married, were gonna have a baby or two
We're gonna let them vist their grandma
That's what we're gonna do"

See the little children
See how they're playing so happy
In the playround in my mind

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
La la la la la la la

[6000eliot]

52. "Seasons in the Sun" or "Don't Worry Be Happy"

Both are high on my list of the horrible.

[Sebastian Doyle]

74. This should either make you hate Seasons in the Sun a little less or a little more

I thought it was hilarious how they butchered the song actually.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO4BF67pvsc

[jmowreader]

87. The best part of that video is the time code at the bottom of the screen

I was actually hoping they'd leave the SMPTE stream up so, like someone counting off the seconds as you're being waterboarded, you'd know how much torture you'd endured.

Of course, you know that when they suspend Shrub's Fifth Amendment rights and make him testify as to his administration's torture activities, we're sure to find out there was a hierarchy of torture: first there was sleep deprivation, then stress positions, followed by bastinado, then waterboarding, and finally for the real hardcases we locked them in the Harmony Hut and played Nirvana's cover of Seasons In The Sun over and over until they just gave up.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

54. "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro

Songs about horticulture and dead significant others are never a good idea. It's like mixing beer and wine.

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

55. "I've Never Been to Me" -- esp. the version with the spoken words

've Never Been To Me
( Charlene )

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me


Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Neice and the isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children that might have made me complete)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me


*I love how "Nice" is missepelled!

[TheCentepedeShoes]

57. Ok, haven't seen them mentioned yet

but, Spirit in the Sky and Indian Lake
Oh, and Brandy

[OwnedByFerrets]

59. Muskrat Love

[Odin2005]

61. Hey There, Delilah.

:crazy:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

62. Perry Comatose -- Seattle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTkDE_AkZ5Y

I nominate Muskrat Love as well. Celine Dion songs are good except for that suckwad Titanic theme.

And the Starland Vocal Band could sing three-part harmony well, so that excludes them from the Running of the Cheese.

[JeffR]

64. Bondi Junction, Peter Foldy 1973

Makes me feel sad for the rest.

[GReedDiamond]

65. "Afternoon Delight" by The Starlight Vocal Band - n/t

[Zavulon]

67. We Built This City was my first thought, but

Seasons in the Sun is also as cheesy as it gets.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

73. I agree about Seasons in the Sun.

We Built This City is actually a well-written song. I don't know why people hate it so much.

[Zavulon]

89. You're the ONLY person I've ever even heard of who likes it.

In college we used it as a drinking game - the song was on a loop, playing over and over, and you couldn't leave the room until your 12-pack was gone. You've never seen so many people drink so much so fast.

[Sebastian Doyle]

68. Can't have a cheese thread without Van Hagar

because some fucking alien pulled a tampon string and a flood of Velveeta came rolling in burying Eddie under a crappy synthesizer and the Repuke Tequila salesman thought he was an adequate replacement on guitar....


He wasn't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rvri_da8_E

[madeline_con]

72. Hubby calls it the Keyboard Eddie era. He hates it!

:puke:

[blogslut]

70. Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO5Y1OuQIxo

I win. :)

[libodem]

71. I write the songs

Berry Mandildo sucks ass.

[MilesColtrane]

76. 100% Pasteurized Processed American Cheese Food

"Mandy"

(I wouldn't be surprised to find out that they've been using this song at Guantanamo.)


I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice
A shadow of a man
A face through a window
Crying in the night
The night goes into

Morning, just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
you made me so happy, oh Mandy

Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
I need you today, oh Mandy

I'm standing on the edge of time
I Walked away when love was mine
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing
The tears are in my mind
And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy

Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy

Yesterday's a dream I face the morning
Crying on the breeze
the pain is calling, oh Mandy

Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy

[Sebastian Doyle]

85. Some useless trivia about "Mandy"

Manilow wrote that song with his producer Ron Dante. Dante had a few hit records of his own, but not under his own name. You would know him better as "Archie".

No, not Bunker........



Dante and Manilow also wrote the McDonalds jingle "You Deserve a Break Today".

[jmowreader]

88. The Manilow-McDonalds story gets around, but it's not true

The person who actually wrote "You Deserve a Break Today" was Keith Reinhard, McDonalds' account executive at the Needham advertising agency. Needham later merged with DDB, which was Bill Bernbach's agency. (Bill, of course, taught the world to "Think Small" and to "plop plop, fizz fizz" when they had heartburn. "Oh what a relief it is!")

This is a good interview with Keith about that campaign's beginnings:

http://www.madisonavenuejournal.com/2007/11/10/keith_reinhard_on_you_deserve_a/

[gmoney]

108. uh, no... written by Scott English and Richard Kerr

Dante sang background vocals though, and might have produced... it's a little vague.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandy_(song)

[Tabasco_Dave]

77. Heaven On The 7th Floor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq8c8UsyTuE I WIN!!!!!:bounce: :party:

[femmocrat]

78. "Watching Scotty Grow."

I'm not a big fan of "Cat's in the Cradle" either.

[LibDemAlways]

95. I had all but forgotten about that POS. When that song was

popular I was in college and knew a guy nicknamed Scotty who came on to every girl he saw. I've always tied the title of the song to that guy's insatiable libido. "Me and God are watching Scotty grow." LOL

[LibDemAlways]

97. Dupe

[Deja Q]

80. You got me babe

[NYCGirl]

84. Not when it's sung by Joey Ramone and Holly Beth Vincent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpuh9LUJjwA

[PassingFair]

82. "Heartlight"

[kimmerspixelated]

86. Bette Davis Eyes.

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

91. "That's What Friends Are For"

The most sappy, maudlin tripe ever put to record.

and it gets annoyingly stuck in your head if you hear that harmonica for even a second.

Jack Black said it best in High Fidelity.
It's an "80s musical atrocity committed by Stevie Wonder"

[mvd]

93. Yet many of the mentioned songs are enjoyable IMO

I'll add "The Sign" by Ace of Base (yes, I like that one, too.)

[Alexander]

94. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Styx definitely gave us one of the cheesiest songs imaginable.

[Metric System]

96. Barbie Girl by Aqua. I win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxn567bHny8

[LibDemAlways]

98. They don't get any cheesier than

"God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood. :puke:

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

99. "Have you forgotten?"

the "Iraq-caused-9/11" turd by Daryl What's-his-name, the one-hit wonder.

[jmowreader]

100. "America We Stand As One" is the casu marzu of the music biz

If you start bleeding out of your ears, don't say I didn't warn you...

http://www.americawestandasone.com

[Phentex]

103. Proud to be an American...Lee Greenwood

Cheese Please!

[Coventina]

104. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!

Although, it's probably not as cheesy as some of the other songs on this thread.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

105. Toss-up: "Take It On The Run" by REO Speedwagon/"All I Want To Do is Make Love to You" by Heart

Either of those songs just reek of pure spoiled cheese.

[mysuzuki2]

109. asshole from el paso

by Kinky Friedman