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As an economy measure, I changed oil in both vehicles this morning. Although I worked as a mechanic for some years in the past, I have given that job in recent years to Jiffy Lube, preferring to pay them rather than dirtying my own hands, and trying to keep the local economy lively.
One of the vehicles, a 1991 Volvo 740 wagon, was no problem, and I was quickly finished. The other, however, a 1999 GMC Jimmy SUV, was another story, and not a pleasant one.
The oil filter in the Jimmy is mounted remotely, under a cover. Upon opening the cover, I noticed that Jiffy Lube had used a filter with a smooth, round end, rather than the ribbed end designed to accept an efficient cap-style wrench. They probably saved a nickel by doing this. I retrieved an old-style strap-type wrench from the depths of my roll-away toolbox and applied it to the filter. The small cover did not allow much range of motion, but should have been OK. Except...
The mental defecative at the Jiffy Lube had NOT followed the instructions on the filter when tightening it. "Tighten the filter 3/4 of a turn after contact with the flange." Instead, this cretinous person had, for a reason known only to him, tightened the filter at least a turn and a half.
So, the filter would not unscrew using the strap wrench. Instead, the strap wrench began crushing the shell of the filter. Never mind, I said to my self. I got my largish screwdriver and drove it through the body of the filter with a hammer. Dirty oil, as it must, ran down my arm.
No joy! Instead of turning the filter, the screwdriver merely ripped the thin metal of the filter shell. Now, I must admit that several imprecations were heard in my driveway, including some that would blister the ears of sensitive souls.
I had to resort to a careful application of a cold chisel to the beaded rim of the filter, holding the chisel at an appropriate angle while tapping it with a hammer. Now, this last resort measure must be applied carefully, indeed, lest you damage the sealing surface of the filter adapter. Finally, with my arms liberally coated with filthy motor oil, the filter turned a fraction of a degree. Soon, it was off, and the new filter installed, and tightened precisely that 3/4 of a turn, as described on the filter itself.
So, a 15-minute task turned to a 45-minute job and soiled my blue jeans with black, dingy motor oil. They were an old pair, but they are now relegated to being used only for filthy work.
So, Curses upon you, incompetent Jiffy Lube person! Curses, I say!
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