So I thought I made a friend yesterday, I wanted to get together for lunch, and then she tells me

[blondeatlast]

she won't give me her number because she doesn't want women friends because "girls are mean" and that "I'm too pretty" so she thought I'd go after the guy she was with (believe me, that wouldn't be a problem--he was a jerk to her, even--and yet she'd lived with him for over a year).

She already had asked me for my number, so it really threw me.

She's got an MLS; we started talking because she heard me mention how long I'd worked in the city library system and started asking me about who to pony up to, sho to avoid, etc. Not the kind of person that I'd want for a friend, so it's okay, bet GEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ...

What the hell year is this again?! Was I in some parallel universe where the '60s and '70s didn't happen? HUH?!

Edit: took out the location identifier.

[Heidi]

1. Sounds like she knows the "mean girls" thing from personal practice.

Don't commit your heart to this friendship. I've seen your photo: you _are_ pretty. But I don't believe pretty should be held against a woman anymore than "not pretty" should be.

By mentioning that she's not the kind of person you'd want for a friend, you've settled the matter in your heart and mind.

Wish we women would just stop competing against and using one another. :(

[JitterbugPerfume]

2. she has real issues

cut her loose

a friend once told me she disliked me being smart

I mean an ex friend

[Heidi]

3. We have two choices when faced with "friends" like that:

cut 'em loose because they'll eventually become soul-sucking vampires, or invest in bringing them around. Depends on the vampire, I guess. But I don't feel obligated to exercise an inordinate amount of patience with someone who clearly feels threatened by other women. And it wouldn't matter whether you were smart, pretty, wealthy, hard working, exceptionally compassionate or whatever -- there are some who are looking for a reason to reject other woman. I don't have time in my life for that kind of drama (in most cases).

[JitterbugPerfume]

6. my friend oneighty

used to call them emotional vampires

[Heidi]

8. Your friend

Heidi has been using the same term for about 20 years. RIP, oneighty -- magnificent writer, human being and observer of human behavior. :hug:

[JitterbugPerfume]

9. I have cool friends

:loveya:

[Heidi]

11. So do I.

And that Moleskine journal offer still stands, should you ever wish to take me up on it. :loveya:

:*

[blondeatlast]

10. He had a gift with language, didn't he? What a truly great human being.

We need more like him.

[JitterbugPerfume]

13. I talked to him every day

and he thought very highly of you.

I treasure his books .

[blondeatlast]

14. I've got a big smile on my face now and probably will all day!

Thanks--what promised to be a rather bleh day is much brighter knowing that! :hi:

[JitterbugPerfume]

15. you are welcome!

:hi:

[Haole Girl]

4. I had that happen when I was younger

My neighbor admitted she didn't want me to ever go anywhere she went with her boyfriend because I was pretty. I think she was just insecure.

p.s., Girls are mean, but boys are cruel.

[philosophie_en_rose]

5. It's her loss.

It's really sad, when women are threatened by other women. I can't imagine how lonely it would be to have no female friends.

[I Have A Dream]

7. Please consider yourself lucky to find out now rather than later.

I'm sorry that this happened though.

:(

[Lex]

12. she just sent up a crazy flare

best to avoid that one

[MountainLaurel]

16. I want to know where she's a librarian

So I can avoid applying for a job there.

[blondeatlast]

17. She isn't a librarian yet, she wanted me to clue her in.

I worked as an LA for many years in (check my profile). I know most of the movers and shakers in this large system. I hope she doesn't drop my name; if I get contacted I will strain to remain coldly neutral--which will be a clue in itself!

[HopeHoops]

18. Next time she asks to get together, tell her you'll call her when you get a chance.

When she points out that you don't have her number, answer, "that's right."

This doesn't sound like a friend, it sounds like an insecure leech - flashing red light warning.

[Schema Thing]

19. bizarre

just be glad she revealed herself so soon, so you haven't wasted time or gotten involved in crazy drama