Puberty and the Pre-teens...

[JANdad]

I think I am about to go into hiding...for the next 4 years possibly...

Last night while sitting at the computer, my 12 y/o step-daughter emerges from her bedroom and quickly passes by me. I manage to catch a glimpse of her face and she is crying. Now keep in mind she had just gone to bed only 5 minutes earlier...

I ask her "Are you crying?" and from the other room I hear a resounding "NO!"

When she returns to my Field of view I make eye contact and she is most assuredly crying...

I try to muster all the sensitivity a guy can and I say "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Her response (loosely paraphrased) is: "I was just thinking about my broken elbow (from almost a year ago, now completely healed) and started crying..." and them storms off back to her room!

After I pick my jaw up off the floor I do what any dad would do...go get mom and tell her that her daughter has officially gone off the deep end and that her little hormones are wreaking havoc on her sense of reality...

God help me!

[Obama2012]

1. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Most guys can muster more sensitivity than that.

[bigwillq]

24. Hello.

Welcome to DU! :hi:

[Obama2012]

25. Thanks!

:hi:

[Orsino]

2. Perhaps your two questions ought to have been...

..."Are you all right?" and "Would you like to tell me about it?" Perhaps she really didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering her, but "What the hell is wrong with you?" certainly isn't very sensitive. Even if you were only seeing teenage hormones at work, she might really have been wrestling with the notion that something was, indeed, wrong with her, and didn't need that thought reinforced right then. It might be that she was ashamed of crying, too.

If your response was ill-considered, though, I doubt that the situation is unsalvageable. You ought to consider acknowledging your (possible) insensitivity as you offer an ear.

[JANdad]

3. Relax folks...(to posts 1 and 2)

I took a little literary license with the my dialouge...trying to add a little humor in there and I have obviously failed...

I did asked her in a very compassionate way "what is wrong" and she told me...

Sorry to try and get a chuckle in the AM...

[madinmaryland]

4. Some folks don't understand a bit of sarcasm.

[Tobin S.]

5. I thought that part of the story was hilarious

I'm still laughing about it. :rofl:

It worked on me anyway.

[JANdad]

7. Thanks...

I am still laughing about it myself...

I realize that the changes puberty brings about can be very frustrating and confusing while going through it...but to see her growing up and witnessing the changes can at times be a bit humorous as she learns to deal and cope with what is going on.






oops...edit for sp

[Orsino]

9. Uh-huh.

Ask in the most compassionate way possible, and a teen may still hear "What the hell is wrong with you?" :D

[HopeHoops]

11. Might have been that she started her period and was embarassed.

Just sayin'

[femmocrat]

6. I soooo do not miss those years! LOL

Good luck... you're going to need it! :hug:

[coffeenap]

8. You just cracked up my whole family!

Thanks! And, good luck. We are at 19 and 15 and having a great time--really!

[tigereye]

10. yeah, I got the "lecture" from my 13 year old about how I should

"just say yes to make it easier" to whatever he wanted to do. (nothing bad, just the tone of it was a revelation) These adolescent conversational gambits kind of sneak up on you.



:rofl:


You have my sympathy. I only have one male kid and I think their adolescence has a different tone from females.

[Iggo]

12. Mine's 14.

Most of her WTF moments are behind us. She can be reasoned with now...*phew*

[JANdad]

13. WTF is right...

this just came out of NOWHERE...5 minutes before and she was happily trotting off to bed then WHAMO!

[scheming daemons]

15. Mine's 14 and STILL having WTF moments...

...she's almost 15.

When does it end?


:sigh:

[TrogL]

16. Mine are pushing 18, 20 and 21 respectively and they're getting worse

They need to be in jail, a mental hospital and a nunnery.

[Iggo]

18. Respectively? Or all three?

:rofl:

[JANdad]

19. ROFLMAO...

Good One!

[TrogL]

21. Respectively

18 - closet sociopath
20 - depression, Autistic Spectrum, needs a proper diagnosis
21 - baby out of wedlock

[davsand]

14. "Whitney texted me and said she likes Twilight more than I do... I'm *SO* mad."

Yep, swear to gawd it came out of my 12 year old's mouth a couple days ago. A few days before that it was, "One of the twins said Joel is my Boyfriend. I'm NEVER going over there again!"

I cannot get over how much of a DRAMA (notice it is in caps!) everything is at this age. Wow. I'm hoping this will settle down into the normal PMS stuff in a couple of years because I'm not sure she'll still be alive if it continues too much longer...


:banghead:



Laura

[madinmaryland]

20. "Drama" is the key word with 12 y/o's. Wow, everything with our

12 yo involves some sort of drama. Sassitude, 24/7!

[Iggo]

17. Little girls.

:eyes:

EDIT: But oh dear god don't call them that...lol.

[fizzgig]

22. i'm 28 and my dad still asks me that question

:rofl:

[JANdad]

23. I'm 39 and I still get it...

but a bit more colorfully than "hell"...more like "WTF is wrong with you"