Limbaugh Misunderstood The FANTASY In Fantasy Football

[ThePantaloon.com]

The mainstream media has reported that Rush Limbaugh was recently dropped from a group of investors who wanted to make an offer for an NFL team. The reason given for Rush’s ouster was a history of inflammatory, racist comments made by the radio personality. In furtherance of the charade, Limbaugh himself has gone on phony tirades blaming everyone from the head of the NFL Players’ Union to Al Sharpton to even President Obama. During a 15-minute counterattack at the start of one of his shows, Limbaugh said he believes he's been made an example by a players' union seeking leverage in talks over a new collective bargaining agreement. What happened to him was an illustration of "Obama's America on full display," Limbaugh said.

Our team of investigative reporters, however, has uncovered the real reason why Limbaugh has been banned from owning an NFL team. Limbaugh evidently believed that he was participating in the popular nationwide game known as “Fantasy Football.” Unlike traditional Fantasy Football, however, Limbaugh believed he was being offered an opportunity to buy a team of male athletes that had been the subject of his sexual fantasies. Limbaugh’s plan was to (1) break down the athletes mentally with racist slurs and mismanagement, (2) give starting positions to less skilled and less attractive athletes to gain leverage over his “fantasy” targets, and (3) then, when the “fantasies” were most vulnerable emotionally, offer them starting jobs and an unlimited supply of Oxycontin, but for a price. A grotesque price.

Sources close to Limbaugh provided us with The Confidential List of Limbaugh's “Fantasy” Draft Order, including their “positions” and Limbaugh’s personal fantasy with each player: http://www.thepantaloon.com/