Sorry this one's a downer. It's about the stigma of mental illness and my disturbs family.

[Maraya1969]

I know I should probably put this in the mental illness forum but not many people show up there and I know that more than that have had experiences with mental illness with their family or themselves.


First off my grandmother was very ill most of her life. She had hallucinations and heard voices. But she also rarely slept and took care of a family of 3 children and her husband for many years. We used to just accept that grandma had a problem and even joke about it, (like when someone said something a little off someone would accuse them of reading "Grandma's newspaper again)

Anyway as I got to be an older teen I started having problems and was eventually diagnosed as bi-polar with panic disorder and OCD. My parents were of NO HELP to me when I was originally sick with the panic attacks and the general not doing very well. I was the one who sought out help and even when I was diagnosed bi-polar it did not go well with the family (I was first diagnosed as schizophrenic in college).

The doctor who finally helped me was a cutting edge psyco-pharmacologist who taught at Columbia Presbyterian medical school and got things hot off the pres. He told me that he believed that my grandmother was just bi-polar as I was and that that diagnosis could cause hallucinations, delusions etc. And I know this because it happened to me a few times but not much because I have been on medication for most of my life.

Anyway now my uncle is sick. He has lost all sorts of weight, apparently he has been drinking a lot, (I did that also), getting really mean and then last off he has been sleeping almost all day.

He had similar problems before and I spoke to his wife, (we are not that close of a family), and she wanted to believe it was some sort of reaction to a medication he took.

When my mother called me she told me that one doctor diagnosed him as bi-polar.

But now his wife is taking him for all sorts of neurological tests. It is like they want him to be anything but mentally ill even though his mother and niece have the same problem, (they don't believe my grandmother was bi-polar, they insist she was schizophrenic even though my doctor said she was probably bi-polar especially because I am.

I realized that the stigma of mental illness is alive and well in my family. They did not even accept that I had a disease until I started behaving in a way that embarrassed them.

I feel so bad for my uncle and my thought is what is the problem with putting him on a mood stabilizer or just an anti-depressant while they do all those other tests? I talked to my mother about it last night on the phone and she wanted to get off pretty quick after I started talking about bi-polar.

Even one of my grandmother's sister's, granddaughter has a really bad case of bi-polar and that is only one I know of because she came from such a large family and I've never met any of them. The reason I know of this second cousin is her father found out about me and called me to talk about it.

Maybe I am just ranting. Maybe someone could give me some answer as to how to get my uncle's wife to at least CONSIDER the diagnosis of bipolar. It just blows my mind that they would get this diagnosis and not even try to treat it but send him for a battery of neurological tests instead. Maybe they will find something, who knows.

I'm disgusted and depressed. My family cares more about how one appears to society than how they actually feel.

I'm going to call his wife soon after I calm down a bit. I KNOW that when I ask my mother for their phone number she is going to give me a lecture about staying out of their business.

And they call me crazy.

[PJPhreak]

1. My Mom is schizophrenic,

And the stigma was a PITA! everyone around me either made fun of the problem or treated me and my siblings like we were sick also.

The Truth,the most common way people deal with mental illness...Denial.

They simply refuse to accept that mental illness is is just that...An Illness that is in most cases treatable.

[Maraya1969]

5. Wow I am sorry that happened to you. People can be mean. I don't

know what happened to my mother but I remember once when my grandmother came with my cousin up to a vacation house with us my grandmother did some awful things, (like smack one of the guys on the beach because she thought he was "going something to my cousin.....which was not entirely out of bounds because my cousin did have a crush on him....but he was too old for her....we were teenagers)

Anyway after that when we used to go up there I remember people saying things like "How's your grandmother?" and laughing. I felt terrible. It wasn't funny.

[PJPhreak]

12. Thanks, It made me find out more about it

And has helped me open my own eyes to just how far we still hve to go.

[conscious evolution]

2. Nuerological testing is not such a bad thing

Many mental ilness's are biological illness.
It helps some people deal with the stigma if they can believe the illness's roots are caused by physical problems such as seritonin receptor problems and such.

[Maraya1969]

6. Can they diagnose Bi-polar through neurological test?

[conscious evolution]

7. Not sure for bi polar

I have been told that some ilness can be demonstrated thru neuro testing.
A friend who treats PTSD told me of an eye tracking test that can show where lesions in the limbic sytem are located.I also know that blood tests can determine if chemical imbalances are occuring for certain types of induced depression.
Also,MRI's can show problems such as schizophrenia and,iirc,Alzhiemers.

Something else to keep in mind-At one time epilepsy was considered to be a mental illness.We now know it is an electrical problem between the hemispheres of the brain.

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. No. Anecdotal evidence and watching to see how we react to mood stabilizers is still the way

they sort it out.

[dugaresa]

3. I would recommend not interfering at this stage.

Your uncle's wife may be having trouble coping.

While I understand your desire to try and help, you may make it worse for her.

I know a couple who has gone through this type of situation and sometimes the spouse may not have the ability to cope with the illness. Unfortunately marriages break up over this kind of issue and for your uncle's sake, I would let them sort it out.

They are going for further testing, it isn't like she is denying him treatment. Perhaps she is hoping that it is something less scary to her? I don't know.

Eventually they will both have to deal with the situation and hopefully move forward.

I have learned the hard way that sometimes when you try to offer advice from the outside that you can get burned.

[Maraya1969]

4. Good point and thanks...........

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. I'm sorry, Maraya...

I don't think that the stigma will ever go away.

My dad died when I was 11.

My mom suffered severe, undiagnosed depression for most of her life. During my teen years, it was just the two of us living in our home. She would spend MONTHS locked in her bed room, only coming out to eat or to use the bathroom. I used to stand at that door for hours, asking her what was the matter.

I had a friend over one day...my mom came out of the bed room, not looking very good as you can imagine. My "friend" said "your mom needs to get out more". I remember that cruel statement to this day (I'm 51 now).

I now suffer from the same depression she does, only mine is mostly controlled.

[Maraya1969]

17. I'm sorry about what you went through too. My father used to get depressed

and the pain of watching it is horrible. I hope you are on the right medication and at the right dose.

I say that because 1. My doctor told me and 2. a book "You mean I don't have to feel this way" also says that the 2 main problems that doctors make when prescribing medication is they either give the wrong medicine, (and then keep the patient on it for years??????) or they do not give enough of the right medication. To many are too conservative, (HA I got to use that word!) in their treatment protocols.

This page is from the doctor that saved me many years ago. I can't see him anymore because I do not live around NY. But his website has a ton of information. His name is Ivan Goldberg.

Anyway it is a way to determine if your doctor is an expert on psychiatric medications or not

http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.expert.html

[Schema Thing]

10. Seems like you should talk to your uncle directly, not his wife

he knows what he experiences, and it may jive with your experiences.

[Demoiselle]

11. I'm sorry for what you've been through, Maraya...

My family has firsthand experience with mental illness, too.
The good news (as I think you know) is that we've come a long way with treatments for the chemical imbalances that are the root causes of these illnesses.
Careful treatment with meds like Lithium and Risperdal can make almost miraculous differences in patients these days. (To name just two drugs in our experience.)
You're right about the genetic connections in bipolar. And you're right about the way manic bipolar problems can mimic the delusions of schizophrenia. I don't quite understand why your family would be happier thinking that Grandma was schizophrenic instead of bipolar. Sounds like she managed to care for her family extraordinarily well even with the illness!
Anyway, I hope you can convince them to sit down and talk to a professional about all of this.
I know how scary mental illness can be. And I wish this country had a better attitude about it. But there is good stuff happening out there. I wish you and your family all the best.

[elocs]

13. Although it is good for family members to recognize and admit a loved one has a mental illness,

it is hugely important that the one who is mentally ill knows and admits they are mentally ill because many do not. That way they are much more likely to seek help when needed and to stay on their medications. A lot of the problem is that there is not a simple blood test or other method to say, "yes, you are bipolar or schizophrenic". Besides there are not a lot of clear-cut lines between many mental illness and many suffer more than one.

You can pick your friends, but you cannot pick your family. It seems that many family members would prefer that the loved one have a brain tumor or other illness (there are other diseases that have symptoms that mimic mental illnesses) rather than be schizophrenic. Hopefully they will come around but you cannot make them understand any more than you can make the sufferer admit that they are mentally ill.

I have an 18 year old goddaughter who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. It has been a hell of a year for her as she has been hospitalized 12 different times in the psych wards at 7 different hospitals. The last one was just a few weeks ago, but it was the best because she chose to go herself. She finally understood that she has schizophrenia and needed medication and hospitalization because she was still hearing voices. She is at a residential group home and I was so proud of her when she went down and calmly told them that she needed to go to the hospital and she got a lot of respect for her maturity and recognition.

She is out now and on her meds and is attending high school and is doing as well as she can and that is a great thing. We can only hope she can be the best that she can be, not compared to anyone else or compared to what she once might have done. But she is determined to get better and to tell the truth she is much more mature and focussed than I was at 18 and has more goals for her life.

[Maraya1969]

15. I'm sorry to hear that it happened to your daughter but I am really glad

that she is on the right path now. And remember that psychiatric medications have improved by jumps and bounds in the last several years. And that means that the people with these illnesses will improve along with the medicine. Hopefully there will be a cure someday.

[Tobin S.]

14. I think one of the best things you can do for your uncle and anyone who is mentally ill

is make a contribution to NAMI or some other organization that fights the social stigma of mental illness. It could be a monetary contribution or volunteering. If he ever wants to talk to you about it, be open and understanding. Just be you, in other words. ;)

I have schizoaffective disorder, btw. It took ten years for me to get it sorted out. Your uncle may be well ahead of the curve as far as getting treatment goes even if his current form of treatment ultimately is a dead end.

[Maraya1969]

16. Does that mean that you have a form of schizophrenia and bi-polar?

When I was talking to my mother I mentioned that and I have heard a lot of people with that diagnosis.

[Tobin S.]

18. Yes, that's exactly what it means

I suffer from mania and depression as well as psychosis, delusions, and hallucinations. It's a terrible illness, but fortunately it's under control now. I take an anti-psychotic as well as a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant. And the good news is that I have not been symptomatic for 6 years and will likely never be again as long as I continue treatment.

[elocs]

22. My goddaughter is currently being treated for schizophrenia and bipolar.

There are not clear cut lines with these diseases where it is one or another. There is also no quick and easy test for them either.

[Redstone]

19. We are, pretty much all of us, to put it as politely as I can,

fucking nuts. How can we NOT be so? Brain chemistry is SO complicated...who among us could not benefit from some kind of medication?

Not many, I'd wager.

But you're right about the "social stigma" of mental diseases, which I've never understood and lectured people about endlessly. Nobody who has diabetes is shy about using insulin, but people with depression (or worse) seem to fee soe shame about using antidepressants or other appropriate medicine to balance their brain chemistry.

My best wishes for you and your family.

Redstone

[raccoon]

20. I feel your pain. There's been a lot of mental illness in my

family too, mostly depression, AFAIK.

My father died from alcoholism. He said he drank because he was depressed, so he might have been depressed and was self-medicating.

My mother suffered from depression a lot. Much of my life I have too. And some of my family members have been in mucho denial about it.

Best to you and your family. :hug:

[Rising Phoenix]

21. I hear you

I am bipolar and have panic disorder with agoraphobia. Though my immediate family is understanding, my extended family keeps it a dirty little secret that half of them are "crazy" And heavens forbid you should admit it and seek treatment. They call me lazy and say I have no work ethic.


Unfortunately this stigma is everywhere. I had to deal with it at the ER last night.


The way I fight back.......I am open and honest about my illness, how it affects me and speak up for those who can't for themselves

[kaehele]

23. Something that might be helpful?

Maraya, you might find a recent Glenn Close article on the stigma of mental illness of interest. You can find this Huff Post piece here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glenn-close/mental-illness-the-stigma_b_328591.html