CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 01:16 AM
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I'm going to read this poem tomorrow! November Day in LA... |
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Down the clogging streets cars fleeing round him massive shapes shifting belching, spewing,
lurches the lone bicyclist brown skin, no shirt, no shoes darting like an otter in the fluid stream of cars
Insanity holds him bobbing, weaving like a drunk fighting for his life
in this river of cars heedless of him hurrying along careless of his ride
Just another November Day in LA
© 2009 MLC
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Haole Girl
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Tue Nov-24-09 01:27 AM
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1. I could visualize that... |
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I remember days like that in L.A. like it was yesterday. Thanks for sharing that, Peggy. :-)
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 01:30 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
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Oh, I'm glad you could see it!
It is based on what I saw the other day, on my way home from the gym...
You're welcome!
:hi:
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NYC_SKP
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Tue Nov-24-09 01:27 AM
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2. This brings to mind the description of a scene in nature, a rain forest for example. |
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Or a coral reef.
All this activity, and some creature a bit out of place, a survivor, weaving it's way through the environs.
Love it!
:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 01:32 AM
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Hm...I hadn't thought of it that way.
But still, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you, sweetie...
:hug:
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Prisoner_Number_Six
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Tue Nov-24-09 01:44 AM
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That's what I call clarity of thought. :hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 01:47 AM
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6. My dear Prisoner_Number_Six... |
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Ah, yes.
I was truly working for just that. I'm pleased to hear that you think I achieved it!
Thank you, sweetie...:hug:
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bluesbassman
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Tue Nov-24-09 02:13 AM
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The otter and stream anology was perfect.
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 02:23 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
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Oh, thank you!
The image of the otter and stream just popped into my head, and they felt right.
I'm so glad you agree!
:hug:
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Callalily
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Tue Nov-24-09 07:15 AM
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exceptionally visual. I can see the bike riding maneuvering in and out of traffic, drivers oblivious to his presence.
:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 12:10 PM
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Well, this is visual because I saw him riding...
And I really wanted to convey that...
Thanks, sweetie!
:hug:
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theNotoriousP.I.G.
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Tue Nov-24-09 07:59 AM
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I like this. I can see it unfolding in my mind.
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 12:12 PM
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12. My dear theNotoriousP.I.G... |
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Ah, thanks!
He really caught my eye as he swooped and darted...
I wanted to show him! I think I did...
:hi:
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Rambis
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Tue Nov-24-09 12:20 PM
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Tue Nov-24-09 12:22 PM
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14. I thank you, my dear Rambis! |
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